Second Pregnancy: Adjusting and Coping

I never realized how true the statement “every pregnancy is different” was until I was deep into my second pregnancy. My second time around was very different from my first on several levels: physical changes and emotional upheaval. Below is an account of how I went about adjusting and coping.

 

Physical Changes

Even though I was on strict doctor’s orders to be on bed rest for the last two months of my first pregnancy due to preterm labor, I can say that I had a harder time with my second pregnancy.

 

Dealing with Pain and Preterm Labor

The first time around I hardly felt any pain or discomfort from any contraction; the only time I felt pain was when my OB Gyne popped my water bag. But with my recent pregnancy, I felt preterm contractions as early as the second trimester. I also suffered from lumbar instability and round ligament pain this time around. I was advised to always have Duvadilan (medication to treat preterm labor) handy in case preterm contractions occurred.

 

Longer Labor the Second Time Around

Labor and delivery day couldn’t be more different than night and day when I compare my two pregnancies. Since I was already dilated for two months prior to giving birth, my firstborn was out after just a few minutes of pushing. I did full Lamaze for both pregnancies but I had a much harder time the second time around. I found it odd since most people told me giving birth would be easier the second time around. I was in labor for almost 24 hours! It was a very slow process and I was starving and tired. Even at 6 cm, with my water bag popped, the baby was still very high up inside and hadn’t descended.

 

Click here to read more about Aila Sim Yonzon's experiences with an almost c-section, her emotional upheavals, feelings of guilt and getting excited for her firstborn becoming an ate.

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Read on about Aila Sim Yonzon's experiences with an almost c-section, her emotional upheavals, feelings of guilt and getting excited for her firstborn becoming an ate.

 

An Almost C-Section

My doctor informed me that should there be no progress, she would have to perform a C-section. I was alarmed and scared. The probability of having a C-section did not enter my head at all! Thankfully I eventually did dilate and the baby came into position. I pushed for over thirty minutes with no epidural, only a local anaesthesia to manage the pain as the baby crowned. And finally with my last ounce of strength, she was out. While our second born was being cleaned, my doctor was stitching and cleaning me up. It was as if I did not have any local anesthesia. I felt every single thing they were doing to me. I found myself literally trembling from exhaustion for a full hour after giving birth. I was so weak and tired from the pain. But as the cliché goes, all the pain and hardship went away as soon as they handed me my baby.

 

Emotional Upheavals

During my first pregnancy, I had all the time in the world to take care of myself and do all the research possible to be the best mom I could be. My husband and I would always talk to the baby even when she was still inside me and I would make her listen to classical music almost daily.

 

Feelings of Guilt

But with my second baby, I had to rely on stock knowledge and definitely did not get as much sleep due to the fact that I had a toddler to take care of. We also weren’t able to talk to our baby in utero as much and I also was not able to make her to listen to classical music.  Because of these reasons, I felt so guilty: guilty for not taking care of myself more, for not taking care of Autumn Story (our second angel) more, and for not being able to take care of our firstborn more.

 

Excited Ate

On the upside, I was able to enjoy my second pregnancy with our firstborn. We got excited together and we’d encourage my firstborn daughter to talk to the new baby growing inside mommy’s tummy in utero. It was so cute when I would suddenly yelp in surprise when the baby would suddenly give a hard kick and my firstborn would rush to my side and tell her little sister, “Autumn, don’t kick mommy, please.” Towards the last few weeks when we were all eagerly awaiting the day when we would finally meet our second angel, Zoe, my firstborn, would tell the baby, “Autumn come out na! I want to see you na!” She was such an excited ate.

A second pregnancy is really literally different from your first. You’ll be dealing with physical, mental and emotional changes all throughout your pregnancy. Don’t expect your second to be anything like your first. However, through it all, count each little blessing and enjoy the process of baby makes four, especially with your eldest child.

 

Photography by Patrick Martires