My Tita Shared My Pregnancy Without My Permission, Told Me Not Hide Our Blessing

I'm pregnant and just about to pop in a month or so. Not many know about it, maybe until now. But those who need to know are informed. Honestly, I'm still not sure if I want to share it on social media. My mom knew without me telling her because she saw me "going" to an online event about pregnancy on Facebook. 

READ MORE STORIES ABOUT CONSENT:

• Mom Felt 'Exposed' When Husband Shared Photo Of Her Childbirth Without Her Permission
• 'My Mother-in-Law Changed My Newborn's Name Behind My Back'

My friend, who's also expecting (she's due about three months after I give birth), is also not one to announce her pregnancies. It's her fourth. But one day, she took to our group chat to vent. Her tita shared her pregnancy with all their relatives. 

Of course, my friend was devastated. She was furious. It's not that she didn't want people to know that she's pregnant, but she was robbed of the ability to share her life update in her own way. 

'My tita shared my pregnancy news to our relatives without my permission. Nung sinabihan ko na dapat hindi niya ginawa, pinagalitan pa ako. She shamed me for keeping it to myself," my friend wrote in our group chat.

If it was on Facebook, she might have asked her to delete the post, but that's not the case. Her mom just told her to let it pass since it's not too bad anyway that people know she's expecting. She's a married woman, after all. 

I can imagine her tita saying, "Babies are a blessing! You shouldn't hide it! Hindi ko kasalanan na hindi mo pa pala ina-announce, e buntis na buntis ka na, halatang-halata na. I'm just happy your family is growing. Walang masama kung malaman ng ibang tao."

Expecting women or couples deserve to share their pregnancy news on their own terms

"Expectant mothers deserve to announce their pregnancies on their own terms. There are all sorts of legitimate reasons that a woman might not want the world to know she's pregnant just yet," writes Nicole Roder on Parents.com.

I agree. While pregnancy is overall exciting news, it can also trigger more complicated emotions.

For women like me, who has had three miscarriages, finding out that I'm pregnant again brings me relief and apprehension. What if I miscarry again? Then, I'd have to explain to people who will ask about it awkwardly. It's harder to post sad news on social media, but it's better than telling what happened repeatedly. 

Other women don't announce pregnancies due to pregnancy discrimination. Preggos might not get massive projects or promotions because their bosses consider their pregnancy and maternity leave. 

Maybe she doesn't need everybody to know that she's pregnant again four months after giving birth to her child. Or that it's her sixth pregnancy. 

Regardless of a pregnant mama's reasons, it's her and her partner's news to share --even partners should ask consent from the pregnant woman. It's the same with giving birth. Announcing the birth of the child is the new parent's news to share. 

Raging pregnancy hormones may have played a part in my friend's reaction to her tita announcing her pregnancy. In the end, there was nothing she could do but accept it.

READ MORE STORIES ABOUT CONSENT:

• Mom Felt 'Exposed' When Husband Shared Photo Of Her Childbirth Without Her Permission
• 'My Mother-in-Law Changed My Newborn's Name Behind My Back'

Still, on top of her hormones going crazy and all the other pregnancy symptoms and discomforts, she deserves to see and receive congratulatory messages from relatives and friends after seeing her own pregnancy or birth announcement.