Waiting for the Stork: Overcoming APAS

As the popular kiddie skip rope chant goes, after K-I-S-S-I-N-G in a tree, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in a baby carriage. “I used to think I got it all planned out… get married at 24, have my first kid at 27, and another at 30, and travel the world by 40,” Cachelle de Alba recounts. So, after she and her then-boyfriend of three years Miguel tied the knot, the couple eagerly awaited the stork’s arrival.

“In 2003, after being married for three years, my husband and I were able to conceive. We were very excited - finally, we would become parents! However, after 5 weeks into the pregnancy, an ultrasound determined that I had a blighted ovum. The egg was fertilized, but the baby did not form. I was 27 at the time and being quite healthy, I did not expect this to happen to me. The doctor told me that it was a common occurrence. She prodded us to just try again and I became hopeful,” she shares. “The following year, we conceived again, but after 6 weeks, I had another blighted pregnancy. This time, I had to go through a D&C. I was emotionally devastated. I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me. What if I will never be able to have a baby? I voiced out my concerns with my doctor, and even asked if I needed some tests done, but she gave me the same spiel, and dismissed my worry by telling us to just try for a third time.”

Determined to be a mommy
“I don’t think I could emotionally survive another miscarriage so I went to seek a second opinion from a specialist a friend recommended. This doctor asked me to undergo a number of tests. Through these tests, we found out that my body was producing anti-phospholipid antibodies or APAS. These anti-bodies clot my blood during pregnancy, which make it difficult for the baby to grow. This explains the miscarriages,” she continues.

There was a ray of hope, though. “The doctor reassured me that this can be addressed. My husband was to inject me with heparin shots (anti-coagulator/blood thinner) twice a day for the whole nine months. Also, I would need to get blood tests done regularly and visit the clinic every two weeks. It would take a lot of work, a lot of time and of course, a lot of money. My husband was very concerned with the shots and how this whole process would be taxing on me,” she says.

[previous|page|next]

Hubby’s support
“Miguel told me that if I decided not to have a baby, he would understand. Given my condition, the risks and effort involved, I found myself asking, do I still want to have a baby? It was something I had to think about. Then again, going through two miscarriages actually made me realize how much I wanted to have a child. I told Miguel my decision and he said that he will be 100% behind me all the way,” she adds.
 
And Cachelle leaned on Miguel through the very tough times. “He was truly very supportive. He would take me to all my OB visits. He would even prepare my medicines at the start of the day. He would drive all the way to Manila to buy medical supplies for me and accompany me to PGH for blood tests. Together, we found ways to save on costs and we were able to sort out our schedules to make this happen. And it did. Nine months later, on May 6, 2005, Maya Angela was born.”
 
Little blessing

Cachelle waxes lyrical about their baby girl. “She was a blessing to us from the very start. Miguel and I became closer because of her. Our relationship with God and with each other deepened. During the first weeks of pregnancy, it was a little tricky; Miguel had to learn how to use needles because he had to inject my tummy with heparin once in the morning and another at night. The pain was tolerable, but we weren’t prepared for the bruises that would appear because of the shots. My tummy was black and blue for nine months, but none of it mattered because I knew a beautiful baby was growing inside of me.”

She could never forget the first time she held her newborn. “Maya made me realize the true meaning of sacrifice. When I first held her in my arms, I finally understood that indescribable feeling when they say that it feels like your heart is about to burst with happiness. It was pure elation.”  
 
She shares how parenthood has made her and her husband even closer. “Miguel and I were already happy before Maya came, but she made our lives even more meaningful. We are each other’s best friends. We play cards or board games at night, eat popcorn and watch movies. Most of all, we love eating midnight snacks together.”

As the dynamic duo behind the Spanish gastronomical feast known as Alba Restaurante Espanol, eating is a passion shared by the couple. With Miguel (son of  the restaurant’s founder Don Anastacio B. de Alba) manning the kitchen as Chef, and Cachelle handling all the backroom operations, they make the perfect partnership. They have been together for more than a decade, literally 24/7, and they say they never get tired of each other’s company. “It has gotten to the point that when Miguel goes somewhere without me, like to a branch for example, people are surprised to find him alone,” she smiles.

[previous|page|next]

Young lady, big talent

“Maya, who is named after my favorite poet, is now turning seven and continues to be a gift to us. Miguel and I are very proud of her. She started taking Art classes when she was 5 and now paints very well. She also loves Ballet. We encourage her by praising her work no matter how simple it may be, even if it’s sketched on a piece of scratch paper. We never fail to recognize it,” she adds.

“It’s important to pay attention to your child, to observe the anticipation in their eyes while they wait for your reaction. Acknowledge it and always say something nice, no matter how long your day is or how tired you are,” Cachelle advises.

Maya’s artistic slant may also have made her more sensitive to others’ feelings. “The other night, she found me writing this piece, and asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was sharing her birth story and the hardship I had to undergo for her. I didn’t expect her to fully understand and say something, but she simply hugged me tight as if to say thank you. She is very perceptive and sensible. She is such a joy to watch and not a day goes by that I don’t thank the Lord for her,” Cachelle beams.     

The question many people ask them is whether they would be trying for another baby soon, as Maya is almost a little lady herself. “It really feels good to have children,” Cachelle says. “We still consider the possibility of having another child, but even if we’re blessed with just one, we are truly contented.”  

Words for mommy wannabes
 Cachelle gives a few thoughts about her experience, and shares sensible advice for those moms who are having difficulties at the moment. “God has a unique plan for each of us. Some are destined to be mothers and some are destined for other equally admirable roles. Children are always blessings, but are not the only blessings we receive in life. I’m sure many can relate with how I mapped out my life when I was younger, but it doesn’t always work that way. Our plans are not our own.”

She adds a few words for women still waiting for the stork to come, and those to whom the stork paid an unexpected visit. “Whatever God’s plan is, we have to accept it. Whatever difficulty we are experiencing, it is always important to stay positive. Learn more about the problem through research, finding options, and solutions. Overcoming obstacles starts with awareness and putting in all the possible effort you can put in. Then after knowing that you have done your best to deal with the obstacles, it ends with faith:  faith in your doctor, faith in your partner or support system, and faith in prayer.”