It's hard to believe how a tiny human being can turn our world upside down. We expect the sleepless nights, but a new mom's mental state? Postpartum depression (PPD) can easily happen to any of us, and all we can do is prepare our health and support system as best as we can.
And when it comes to support system, there is no one like a husband to help a new mom with PPD, and it's crucial that our partners recognize their critical role.
R&B singer-songwriter John Legend opened up about the role of husband in parenthood. It was, in part, a reaction to the heartfelt essay of his wife, supermodel Chrissy Teigen, who has spoken about her battle with postpartum depression after welcoming their first child, daugther Luna.
Here we list down the points John stressed that all husbands and new fathers need to keep in mind:
1. You cannot be fully prepared -- and that's okay. John admitted that he wasn't emotionally prepared for his wife to go through a dark period at the same time they welcomed a new life. “To be honest, I was really scared because I didn’t know what exactly she was feeling or how to help her,” he told Vanity Fair.
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2. Do your research and address it as a couple. "When you don’t understand what's happening, it’s a bit challenging to figure it out, and you don’t know if it’s something you’ve done or some other reason why she’s not feeling well," he told The Sun. "I think once you know the reasons, you can be more helpful in identifying what they're going through," he added.
3. Don't take it personally -- it's not about you. "The key for other fathers who are going through this is not to take every little thing so personally. Sometimes it's easy to want to make things about yourself, but it's important to remember that some comments aren't about you. You have to remember to be supportive," John told Popsugar. Being right and winning arguments are not always important.
4. Your wife needs your support more. No matter how hard it is for new fathers, moms really do have it harder, John said. "Our jobs as fathers is to be as supportive as possible to our partners. And I think it's really important for us to communicate and listen and be as comforting as we can," he added.
"You need to be present, and you need to be compassionate. We’re all learning and trying to figure it out as we go. At least do that and try to figure it out together [with your wife]," John told People. Let your wife know that no matter what, you're there for her and that you love her.
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It's refreshing to hear a husband talk about his point of view of postpartum depression. Like a birthing plan, preggos also need to prepare for postpartum. John's comments is a great way to start discussing it with your partner.