'Bakit Ka Na-CS, Eh Malaking Babae Ka Naman,' And Other Comments C-Section Moms Received

For mothers who delivered their baby via Caesarean section, it is common to feel that their birth story is unworthy of speaking. Society tells us it is better to have a natural birth than to go through surgical delivery. Some mothers go through this procedure by choice, while others were left with no other option because either their baby's life or their own is at stake.

As a C-section mom, I was ashamed of how my birth went. I didn't want to tell others because I was the only one in our family who didn't deliver my child via vaginal birth. Although my labor went on for more than 24 hours, circumstances led me to undergo C-section.

Often, C-section moms receive comments like, “Ay, sayang, depende siguro sa OB-Gyne, or “C-section? Pang-mayaman lang yun." Others say, "Bakit CS? Eh malaking babae ka naman." 

Moms from the Smart Parenting Village shared their struggles and triumphs as C-section moms, with the hope of removing the shame and judgment that come with how they delivered their children.

READ ALSO: Vaginal Birth Vs. C-Section: The Crucial Differences During Recovery Between The Two

Moms share C-section experiences

'Umiiyak na ako'

Mommy Beverly Ramitan shared how she overcame shame over giving birth via C-section. She shared how she prepared for childbirth, "Buntis pa lang ako, I already planned for a vaginal delivery and to breastfeed my baby. Pero kasi, I gave birth to [my child] Thea at 33 weeks due to preeclampsia. While under observation pa ako after ako isugod sa hospital, while the doctor was still trying to lower down my blood pressure, umiiyak na ako.”

When her husband asked why she was crying, she did not answer him, but he already knew. Her husband said, ‘Are you worried about what people will say if na-CS ka? Kahit ma-CS ka, Thea will always be your baby. Hindi magiging kakulangan yun sa pagiging nanay mo sa kanya.”

On her second pregnancy, she was supposed to do a vaginal birth after caesarean (VBAC), but at 33 weeks, she had pre-eclampsia again, which led her to another CS delivery, but this time, she was more accepting of it.

'I felt like I was a failure.'

Mommy Laurice Inocillas also shared her birth story with Smart Parenting, "It was more of a personal battle for me since I was really preparing myself to give birth normally. The moment I had my last scan and the doctor found a nuchal cord coil, they already suggested that it would be better for me to give birth via CS as it was "delikado" daw for baby, and coming from a pregnancy loss (ectopic), all I wanted was to give birth safely, but then I felt I was given no choice and all my preparations went down the drain, and at that time, I felt I was a failure."

'Nung naranasan ko, tsaka ko lang naintindihan'

Mommy Jennifer Junio-Valdez meanwhile gave birth via normal delivery for her first two babies. However, she had to undergo C-section for her third baby.

She told her third birth story as a first-time CS mom, “It’s actually the other way around; ako yung medyo off kapag naririnig ko ang CS bilang mas nag-li-lean ako into normal delivery tapos iniisip ko bakit ayaw umire nung ibang moms, eh mas maraming benefits ang normal delivery."

She continued, "Tapos ayun, nung naranasan ko na tsaka ko lang naintindihan yung situation ng ibang CS moms eh. Naisip ko tuloy kaya siguro pina-experience sa akin para maka-relate din ako sa iba.”

'Bakit ka na-CS? Sayang, malaking babae ka pa naman'

Mommy Elaine Toyongan, a three-time CS mom, is used to hearing negative comments from other moms. She explained, "Na-CS ako, not because I have a choice. Nakapulupot na yung cord niya [ni baby] sa neck and nag-poop na din siya. So sa ayaw or gusto ko, need ako CS kasi both our lives were at risk na rin."

She heard other comments, such as "pang-mayaman lang yan" or "ang pangit na ng tiyan mo."

She confided how she lost her confidence because of these comments, but as time went by, she had to accept the painful but happy experience of being a CS mom.

Giving birth via C-section doesn't make you less of a mom

As a two-time C-section mom myself who used to be ashamed of how my birth story went, I now speak for other moms who underwent feelings of failure and insecurities. You are not less of a mom just because you gave birth via C-section. Your birth story neither defines you nor your motherhood.

To the moms who gave birth via C-section, we see you! Your birth story is worth telling. You are a brave mom!

It takes bravery and a lot of strength to be a C-section mom. It takes courage to experience recovering from healing from a major abdominal surgery with multiple stitches, which may require a longer recovery than any other birth. It takes willingness to care for our newborns while you feel a lot of discomfort, even in slow movements. It takes vulnerability to accept feelings of frustration, sadness, and disappointment about not having the birth experience you have hoped for.

As what Mommy Beverly said, "'Yung pagiging nanay ko sa anak ko, walang nakakaagaw nun."

To the moms who gave birth via C-section, we see you! Your birth story is worth telling. You are a brave mom!

Check out these C-section-mom-recommended postpartum recovery essentials here.