6 Things I Would Have Done During Pregnancy If I Knew Then What I Know Now

Photo from geniusbeauty.com

This article was updated on July 10, 2015

When I was young, something bothered me about my mom’s two front teeth: One was darker than the other. She’s a good-looking woman, my mom. To see her looks marred by this little detail irritated me to no end. Even when technology afforded that tiny flaw fixed, it still bothered me.

Then I discovered and understood what had happened: When I was in my mom’s womb, I had fed off her calcium supply, affecting her teeth. Now if there’s one thing I’m deathly afraid of, it’s losing my teeth. Not banlag (squint-eyed), not overly balbon (hairy), not sakang (bow-legged). And so to prevent myself from being the object of jokes, and to avoid having my teeth capped because of a calcium-voracious fetus, I chopped off my hair when I became pregnant with my first child.

I am no Halle Berry or Pink; I am not one of those lucky, lucky women who only grows a bump while her limbs and behind remain un-mommy-fied. So even if my face shape and personality can carry a pixie (or even a crew cut), that minimal tuft of hair crowning my pregnant body only exaggerated how pudgy I became. Remember that scene in the original Willy Wonka, when the naughty girl named Violet was rolled out of the bubblegum experiment room? That’s me six months into my pregnancy.

Knowing what I know now, during my pregnancy I would have:

1. Doubled up on my calcium.
And I shouldn’t have cut my hair, or cut it so short. And I would’ve gone to an excellent stylist.

2. Taken better care of my skin.
If I blame my pregnancy hormones for making me forget about going to a good stylist in 1997, I blame my Ilocano blood for scrimping on a good moisturizer for my stressed-out belly, thighs, and breasts. Sisters: Slather on all the anti-stretchmark cream you can get your hands on! Even if you’re genetically predisposed to stretchmarks, you will still greatly benefit: Your skin will turn so soft and irresistibly smooth, your partner won’t be able to keep his hands off you!

3. Had more sex!
Stop “acting” the way a pregnant woman is “supposed” to act, i.e., stuffing her face with green mangoes and bacon and waddling around in checkered tent dresses. A woman’s pregnant body is sexy! Vaginal lubrication increases and the genital area becomes more engorged, making your orgasms more intense. The first trimester may be uncomfortable, with all the getting up and peeing you have to do, but the second and third trimester - provided you’re having a low-risk, normal pregnancy - can be a joy. Besides, at this point in your relationship, you and your partner would have overcome any inhibitions. Plus, your breasts would have grown twice their size, which make for very nice playthings for him and you to enjoy. (A word of warning: During oral sex, your partner should not blow air into your vagina. This can cause an air embolism which could be fatal to mother and child.)

Related: 4 Reasons Why Pregnant Sex is Sexy

 

4. Tried yoga.
Prenatal yoga classes were hard to come by in 1997, but they’re easily accessible now. The stretches, postures, and lessons in pranayama (breathing) are gentle enough even for beginners, and will help you come delivery time. If you’ve got the extra time and budget, I encourage you to join a class. But remember to always consult your ob-gyne before embarking on a new exercise. At any rate, getting and staying active during a normal pregnancy is healthy for you and the baby. It will help keep your weight within normal range during, and speed up the weight loss process after.

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5. Refrained from buying cutesy non-essentials.
The wicker bassinet that makes you feel like a southern belle? Chuck the idea. It’ll only last you a couple of months. The four-ounce bottles that you think are practical because they only hold what your infant needs for the first few months? Forget it. Buy the bigger ones that can last you years (or better yet, breastfeed! More on that later). The sippy cup whose spout turns into a spoon when your baby is ready for solids? Pfft. I bet after two or three uses, you’ll be using it as a sugar dispenser.

Resist the call of seemingly ingenious and delightfully cute baby products. Welcome them as gifts, maybe buy one or two just so you know how it feels to be impractical for your firstborn. If you’re going to be financially smart this period of your life, stick to the long-term, practical buys: a mechanical breast pump (and quality nursing bras, for that matter); two or three wear-me baby slings; and a sturdy, easily foldable stroller.

Pre-loved baby product sales and swaps are getting more popular. You might want to check those out. I was a young (read: lowest ranking with commensurate paycheck) editor when I had my daughter. When I look back and realize how much I spent on impractical frou-frou and how un-resourceful I was, I mentally give myself a smack on the back of the head.

 

6. Breastfed.
As a young first-time mom, armed with the tome What to Expect When You’re Expecting (which all moms should have) and my mom’s guidance, I thought I was ready for everything. Not! There was - is - one aspect of new motherhood I regret I never experienced fully because I was not prepared and not fully educated about: breastfeeding.

I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but I was placed in a non-breastfeeding-friendly hospital, and so the nurse gave my daughter sugar water as her first meal. No one taught me how to help her latch, or what I should do when my breasts felt like Mt. Vesuvius. No one told me I could be wheeled to the nursery to have my breasts pumped. Even if she breastfed me and my siblings, my mother wasn’t equipped with the words or techniques to teach me to breastfeed. Maybe it was a breeze for her, and therefore she assumed it would be for me, as well.

How I wish I could’ve experienced my kids “rooting” (my twins, born in 2003, were premature and held in the neonatal intensive care unit for almost a month, thus also limiting my breastfeeding opportunities). How I wish I could’ve complained side-by-side other breastfeeding moms about cracked nipples and tiny gums making gigil. How I wish I didn’t have to spend pesos on those useless ugly nursing bras!

If there’s one fine memory I have about having breasts filled with milk, it was their sheer size. Oh, the roundness of them, the firmness. They were spilling out of my sundress, which, during more normal times, would be flip-flapping around my chest. “I’ve got to take a picture of these before they go away,” I remember telling my aunt, who was helping me pump manually at the time.

Alas, I didn’t. Dang.

What would you tell your then pregnant self?

Five very different moms reveal how they wish they had prepped themselves from the inside out.

"Be warned: Your post-birth tummy is going to look like a deflated balloon, you will leak milk, but otherwise you and the baby will be healthy... By the way, invest in an efficient breast pump!”
— Anna Gamboa Gan, 39, freelance writer/editor

“I would tell my pregnant self not to worry too much about how the baby would turn out. Nature has a way of giving you a baby that’s a ‘fit’ to your lifestyle. While babies don’t come with a manual, parents (including dads - even if they deny it) always have baby sense!”
— Rina Azcarate, director of human resources, Grand Hyatt

“Dress fashionably sexy. Pregnancy need not be an ugly time for any woman. In fact, the joy of expecting makes any mom glow!”
— Abbie Venida-Yabot, 35, lactation consultant

“Having your baby will be the greatest thing that will ever happen to you. It only gets better from here, you’ll see.”
— Evangeline Navarro, 41, businesswoman, finance lecturer

“Your boobs are not going to get bigger. And you will not feel hornier. You will be sorely disappointed.”
— Ali Monge, 36, homemaker and erstwhile university professor and consultant