My Birthing Story: Vanessa Pastor-Ledesma

Vanessa Pastor-Ledesma
Vice President of Mercato Centrale Philippines, writer
Wife to RJ and mom to Fortune and R3

SP: Tell us your birthing story.
Vanessa: I thought my water bag broke that morning so I was brought to the hospital, but it was only a false alarm. Then, that same night, it all happened. My water bag broke, contractions came in very close -- it all happened so fast that I knew immediately that the baby really wanted to come out. The moment I got to the hospital, I was already 2 cm.

Unlike with my first pregnancy, this time I wasn’t given the epidural immediately. It was so painful. Good thing I had been reading plenty of books about giving birth Lamaze-style. From reading I learned that instead of going against the pain which actually worsens it, you should take energy from the pain to push down. The contraction should be a natural feeling of the mother’s body, and if you go with that flow, you won’t consider the pain as painful per se, but rather a powerful source that will help you push [the baby] out.  

I was in active labor for only four hours.  At around 4:30 in the morning of April 12, 2012, I had given birth to Rene III Florencio Pastor Ledesma, or R3, our 8-pound baby boy. He came out in seven full pushes, and as soon as he was caught he breastfed right away. He naturally looked for my breast that it’s almost as though he crawled up, looked at me and then went down and started breastfeeding.

SP: What food did you crave for during pregnancy?
Vanessa: I was very conscious about my weight gain. The reason I trained myself not to make “lihi” is because I notice that when you do, you gain extra weight. I always make sure I don’t gain more than 25 pounds during my pregnancy, and with R3 I only gained 24. It’s really mind over body. I did not starve myself, though. I would eat often, every three hours.

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SP: Were you on a special diet?
Vanessa:  I was a pescatarian (one whose diet includes only fish and no meat) before I married RJ. When I got pregnant three months after our wedding, I was always nauseous. One time we were in Hooters (a chain of restaurants serving American comfort food), and I remember they had sliders (mini-burgers) which I ate. And I felt fed -- for the first time! In how many years I had been a pescatarian, I felt fed! It’s funny because I felt that the pregnancy was a good excuse to eat meat! (laughs)

Not long after, we started to plan for our second baby, and we wanted a boy this time. We really prepared for the pregnancy. I bought the book entitled How to Choose your Baby's Gender by Susan Allen, and an ovulation kit from the US that is very accurate. There I found out that your diet has a lot to do with the gender of your baby.

I read that in order to conceive a boy, RJ and I needed to eat meat. That’s because an acidic body is the perfect vessel for a baby girl, while a baby boy would thrive in an alkaline environment. So I changed our water to alkaline and ate a lot of meat, which is alkaline, too. Problem was, RJ is vegetarian, so he had to take a lot of zinc as vitamin supplements, which also helps.

I was also really counting on the ovulation kit, which I believe is a good tool for those practicing natural family planning. According to the book, there’s only a 36-hour window to conceive a boy within the span of your monthly cycle, so as soon as the ovulation kit gave the signal (that the 36-hour period has begun), I said, “Ok, RJ, we have to!” (laughs) I also remember an old wives’ tale that says you have to do it in the afternoon to have a really strong boy. I don’t know where I got that from, but it seems to be true! R3 is really strong and he started to hold his head up at 7 days old. He took his first step very early, at four months.

SP: How did you lose the excess pounds?
Vanessa: After my first pregnancy, the only way I lost the weight was if I combined flamenco with belly dancing and working out. I was back to my pre-preggy weight in a span of only two months.

However, with my second, not only did I do flamenco, belly dancing, working out, I even did Zumba and a lot of weight training -- but nothing was happening. Excess weight from the second pregnancy is so much harder to lose, and even doctors will tell you the same thing. So I decided I needed more help. Because I don’t believe in invasive treatments, I resorted to Marie France. I love their programs, especially the FMS (Fat Mobilization System), where I lost one pound after each one-hour treatment. I also lost a few inches here and there. I’m a firm believer that a woman should always take care of herself especially after having a baby.

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SP: How did your firstborn Fortune react to the arrival of her baby brother?
Vanessa: At the hospital after I gave birth, the moment Fortune saw me, she cried. She hasn’t even seen R3 yet. I wasn’t home for two nights, and she immediately knew that my attention was no longer a hundred percent with her. She’s very smart. So I took her beside me and I had to comfort her.

They say it’s not really jealousy that the kids feel, they don’t know what it is. But you can’t just dismiss it; you have to recognize it, then acknowledge. Another thing that I learned is to always involve her in the activities that I have for him. If I’m breastfeeding R3 I would say, ‘You know, Fortune, when you were a baby, I would also do this to you, and I would caress your head just like this, and I would hug you so close,’ so she would know that she was given the same love when she was this age. It’s like explaining in her words that she was once a baby, too. Now Fortune loves R3 so much, hugs him and takes care of him.

SP: What tips can you give moms about buying things for their newborn?
Vanessa: I’m a very practical mom. I only buy when I need, especially when it comes to their clothes and shoes. I only buy when they don’t fit anymore. I know that when you’re a mom, you only want the best for your child, but they grow out of them so fast. The only outfit you should really buy is one nice piece for bringing home the baby from the hospital, because you would want that to be really special. At most, two, but the rest, you’re going to get them as gifts anyway. I also don’t mind re-using Fotune’s old things for R3. Sometimes he would wear pink pajamas, his bath robe is pink, too. I didn’t see the point of buying new ones.

SP: As a mompreneur, what advice can you give moms who are thinking of starting their own business?
Vanessa: For me, it was easier to put up a business as a mother, in my own home, [than be employed] because it allows me to be with my children. In a day, I divide my to-do’s into easy and difficult tasks. The former, I can do while the kids are awake; the latter, I delay doing until they’re asleep. I just need to be efficient with my schedules. But don’t be afraid to pursue your passion just because you’re already a mother.   

Click the View Slideshow button to see what's inside R3's baby bag!

Photos by Mark Chester Ang. Hair and makeup by Cats Del Rosario for Shu Uemura