My Birthing Story: Yasmien Kurdi

Yasmien Kurdi-Soldevilla, 25 years old
Actress
Wife to Rey; mom to Ayesha Zara, 1 year old

SP: Tell us your birthing story.
Yasmien: A week before I gave birth, nararamdaman ko na yung pagod pag naglalakad, sumasakit na yung legs ko (I would already feel tired after long walks, my legs would hurt). One morning, at around 4 am, I woke up and I felt like peeing. When I did, there was mucus plug at alam ko eto na yun (I knew this was it). I then texted my OB-Gyn, she said I needed to go to the hospital immediately, so we did.

At around 9 am, my OB-Gyn said, wala pa, hindi pa nagra-rupture yung water bag ko. Two cm (2 centimeters) pa lang ako.  Sabi nya, maglakad-lakad daw muna ako, so umuwi muna kami ng bahay.  Dun ko naramdaman na masakit na, nagco-contract na. And then at 12 noon, my water bag burst. (At around 9 am, my OB-Gyn said my water bag hasn’t ruptured yet. I was instructed to take a short walk, so we went home. That’s when I started to contract. At 12 noon, my water bag burst).

We rushed to the hospital immediately, while I supported the leak using an adult diaper. I was scared because usually, kasunod na nun yung baby. But when my OB checked, 2 cm pa lang ako. At 2 pm, 2 cm pa din. At 4 pm, 2 cm pa din. Tiniis ko talaga yung sakit. I didn’t want an epidural kasi may nabasa akong reports na mas nasi-CS (Caesarean section) ang babae kapag nilagyan ng epidural. They kept checking on me pero sabi ko, kaya ko yung pain. Dumaan yung oras, hindi pa din nag-improve yung dilation, I was stuck at 2 cm. At 9 pm, they were already suggesting na i-CS na ako, pero ayoko pa din. Pinipigilan ko sarili ko kasi bakit sa probinsya, normal delivery naman sila. By 11:30, nag-slow down na yung heartbeat ng baby. Ang deal namin ng doctor ko, pag 12:00 midnight wala pa din, isi-CS nya na ako kasi sabi nya, pag emergency case, pangit yung incision, tinakot nya na ako. Actualy ang isa sa mga iniisip ko yung finances kasi at that time, my husband had just resigned from work, and I stopped being an actress because I went to nursing school. Anyway, at 12 midnight, they wheeled me into the Operating Room. My only request was that my husband be there with me and that he be the one to cut the cord. 

(We rushed to the hospital immediately, while I supported the leak using an adult diaper. I was scared because usually, the baby would then come out. But when my OB checked, I was only 2 cm dilated. At 2 pm, it was still 2 cm. At 4 pm, it was the same. But I endured the pain. I didn’t want an epidural since I’ve read reports that say women are more likely to be subjected to Caesarean section if they are put on an epidural. They kept checking on me but I remained firm that I could endure the pain. After a few more hours there was still no improvement. At 9 pm, they were already suggesting that I undergo a Caserean procedure but I refused. In my head, I was thinking that women in the provinces could give birth through normal delivery. By 11:30 pm, the baby’s heartbeat was slowing down. My doctor made a deal with me that if at 12:00 midnight, there was still no improvement, she’d cut me open, even saying that an emergency surgery would result in an unsightly incision. One of the things that was worrying me was our finances because my husband had just resigned from work, and I stopped being an actress because I went to nursing school. Anyway, at 12 midnight, they wheeled me into the Operating Room. My only request was that my husband be there with me and that he be the one to cut the cord.)

Nilagyan na ako ng morphine, and then after that wala na akong maramdaman from my shoulders down. Hindi ko maigalaw. Nakakatakot yung feeling. Naramdaman  ko yung paghiwa, pero walang sakit. Pinapatulog ako pero ayokong matulog kasi napa-paranoid ako sa mga news about babies na ninanakaw, babies na nasi-switch sa ospital, kaya sabi ko sa husband ko, wag nyang iwanan, na picture-an nya mula ulo hanggang paa. Sabi ko din sa doctor ko, wag ilagay sa nursery 'yung baby ko. Ang Department of Health may campaign din na Unang Yakap kaya gusto ko i-breastfeed ko agad yung baby ko.

(They administered morphine, and then I couldn’t feel anything. From my shoulders down, I couldn’t move. It was a scary feeling. I felt it when they made the incision, but there was no pain. They tried to put me to sleep but I fought it because all the news about baby switching and kidnapping made me so paranoid. I gave instructions to my husband not to lose sight of our baby and to take photos. I also asked the doctor not to have my baby brought to the nursery, and anyway the Department of Health has a campaign called “First Embrace” which encourages mothers to breastfeed their babies immediately upon delivery.)

Later on, nakita ko sa photos na nu'ng lumabas 'yung baby ko, umiiyak pala ako, hindi ko naramdaman. Hindi ko alam na may tears ako. 'Pag first time mom ka pala, hindi mo alam what to expect. Sabi ko, bakit ganun yung ilong, namamaga? (It was only later when I was looking at the photos that I realized I was crying when I first saw my baby. I didn’t know I had tears. When you’re a first-time mom, you don’t know what to expect. I wondered, why is my baby’s nose swollen?)   
 
I gave birth on November 22, 2012 to Ayesha Zara, which means "bright flower" in the Hindu language. It’s also a combination of Christian and Muslim names, since my husband is Christian and my dad is Muslim. Incidentally, November 22 is the Independence day of Lebanon, where my father comes from.

The next day, I had my catheter removed, I walked already and was discharged from the hospital. Pag hindi mo kasi sinubukan, hindi ka magre-recover. Huwag mo naman pilitin, pero at least try. (If you don’t try, it will be difficult to recover. Don’t push yourself too hard, but at least try.)

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SP: Did you breastfeed your baby?
Yasmien: In the beginning wala akong milk. During the first two weeks after giving birth, pumayat si baby kasi wala syang makuhang milk, kaya iyak sya nang iyak. Ako din iyak nang iyak, nag-aaway na kami ng husband ko. Tapos isang araw, nagdala yung mother-in-law ko ng hilot sa bahay, hinilot ako sa buong katawan for two hours and I felt great after. The next day, dumaloy na yung breastmilk ko. A month after that, napakalakas na ng daloy ng breastmilk ko na isang pump ko lang, 8 ounces agad ang nakukuha ko. Sa sobrang dami, nakakapag-donate pa ako sa neonatal unit ng Philippine General Hospital (PGH), kasi puno na yung freezer namin, hindi ko na alam saan ilalagay yung milk na napa-pump ko. (In the beginning I had no milk. During the first two weeks after giving birth, my baby lost weight so she kept crying and so did I. My husband and I would get into fights. One day my mother-in-law called for the services of a masseuse, who gave me a therapeutic 2-hour, full-body massage. I felt great after. The next day, I was able to pump milk! A month after that, I had so much breastmilk that one pumping session would yield 8 ounces. I was even able to donate to the neonatal unit of the Philippine General Hospital (PGH), since our freezer at home was so full with milk).

My husband is a staunch believer in the importance of breastmilk kasi when his mother was pregnant with him, she only found out 5 months na syang buntis. Napaka-delikado nun (because she didn’t get the proper care during the first part of her pregnancy), kaya nung ipanganak sya, his mother breastfed him for 2 years at yun lang talaga ang nakapag-save sa life nya. (My husband is a staunch believer in the importance of breastmilk because when his mother was pregnant with him, she only found out when she was 5 months along the way. That means she didn’t get the proper care during the first part of her pregnancy, so when he was born, his mother breastfed him for 2 years and that’s what saved his life.)

One time lang ako hinilot at wala akong ininom na malunggay supplements, basta madaming tubig at sabaw lang. I breastfed for 7-8 months exclusively, and during that time, ang taba ni Ayesha. I only stopped breastfeeding her kasi I went back to work na at sabi ng mother-in-law ko, kapag pagod ka, wag mong ipapainom yung milk mo sa baby mo kasi maipapasa mo yung pagod sa kanya. Kailangan pala may enough sleep ka, relaxed ka pag nag-breastfeed. Starting then, nag-mixed feeding na kami. I found it difficult to wean her from my breast. I bought a number of brands of feeding bottles until I found one na gusto nya. (They only did the massage on me once, and I didn’t take any supplements to increase my breastmilk supply; all I did was take in as much water and soup as I could. I breastfed for 7-8 months exclusively, and during that time, Ayesha was so heavy. I only stopped breastfeeding her when I went back to work. My mother-in-law advised against breastfeeding my baby when I’m stressed out as it is believed that it would be like passing on the stress to her. Since then, we started mixed-feeding. I found it difficult to wean her from my breast. I bought a number of brands of feeding bottles until I found one she was comfortable with.)

SP: How much weight did you gain during your pregnancy?
Yasmien: During my first trimester, I would throw up frequently, walang tinatanggap na food yung system ko.  But once I entered my second trimester, masarap nang kumain. I was 184 pounds at my heaviest. Nag-edema (manas) yung legs ko so mahirap lumakad. Nung 8 months, naglalakad pa ako pero nung 9 months, tinamad na ako. I tried na mag-diet pero ang sarap talaga ng food e. (During my first trimester, I would throw up frequently, my system rejected everything I ate. But once I entered my second trimester, I ate so much. I was 184 pounds at my heaviest. I had edema on my legs which made it difficult to walk. At 8 months, I could still manage to take walks but at 9 months, I gave up. I tried to lessen my food intake but everything tasted so good.)

I lost the weight naman by breastfeeding lang, ang lakas makapayat. After two months I tried brisk walking na. When the wound has healed, I started running na. Pero hindi ako nag-diet while I was breastfeeding, kasi kailangan ng baby ko yung nutrition that I get from food e. When I stopped breastfeeding, that’s when I started with the juicing. Ten months after Ayesha was born, balik na yung katawan ko to my pre-pregnancy weight. Pero ngayon, at 123 pounds, mas payat pa ako than I was before I got pregnant. Now, I exercise, I run, I do Zumba. (I lost the weight by breastfeeding, which I found was an effective way to lose weight. After two months I tried to do some brisk walking. When the wound has healed, I started to do short runs. But I didn’t hold back with food while I was breastfeeding, because I knew my baby needed the nutrition that I get from food. When I stopped breastfeeding, that’s when I started with the juicing. Ten months after Ayesha was born, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Now, at 123 pounds, I’m even leaner than I was before I got pregnant. Now, I exercise, I run, I do Zumba.)

SP: How did you find out you had polycystic ovarian cysts (PCOS)?
Yasmien: After my first baby, we thought of using an IUD (intra-uterine device), but my doctor advised against it because I was diagnosed to have polycystic ovarian cysts and mas maganda daw kung pills na lang ang gamitin ko, pero ayaw ko ng mga gamot, natatakot ako sa side effects (she said contraceptive pills are better, but I’m wary of them because of the side effects).

SP: Any tips for new moms?
Yasmien:
1) Don’t go on a diet while breastfeeding. Your baby needs the nutrition.
2) For us, it was wise to have a child soon after we got married, as I am not sure if I would be able to keep up with my child and endure sleepless nights breastfeeding her if I were older.
3) Unsolicited advice is not so bad. If it’s for my baby’s welfare, I’ll gladly take heed.

 

Photos by Dairy Darilag. Hair and makeup by Carmel Villongco for Shiseido