'Moms Can Do Anything, Pero Hindi Mo Pwede Gawin Lahat,' SAHM Creates Free Planners To Avoid BurnoutThese planners help this SAHM overcome her mental health struggles that's why she gives them out for free.by Judy Santiago Aladin .
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Mommy Kyzie Alonzo-Julom is a Pinay full-time stay-at-home mom in Australia. Known as Mommy K online, she created Mothernize, a blog where she shares tools and tips for moms who are experiencing mental health struggles and burnout.
“As moms, we can do anything, pero hindi pwedeng gawin mo lahat.”
In an exclusive interview with Smart Parenting, the 28-year-old mom of a 2-year-old boy, she revealed what inspired her to create planners that promote mental health wellness for moms.
Big changes, high risk
Mommy K shared that she moved to Australia in 2019. There, she met her husband and built their small family. But it wasn’t easy for Mommy K, who experienced mental health struggles, amid the Covid-19 pandemic.
"So, about two years ago, there were a lot of big changes happening in my life - becoming pregnant, moving to a new country I’m not familiar with, and being away from my family & friends. During my pregnancy up until my son turned one, I was really struggling mentally and emotionally," Mommy K said.
She revealed, she experienced symptoms of postpartum depression, although she's not clinically diagnosed with the illness, but she's at high risk, "Yung Lola ko na-diagnose ng postpartum psychosis, and nung college palang ako, I had anxiety attacks."ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
She focused on posting on Instagram what she does best: being vulnerable and sharing what helped her cope.
"Isa ako sa mga mommies na nakakita sa IG na "bakit itong mommy perfect yung life niya, ang linis ng bahay niya. I make it a point to share pag stressed ako, kasi yun yung hindi napaguusapan sa IG but is important."
Mommy K shares in her IG stories snippets of her daily life as a mom. "I think it's the only way I can promote mental health sa moms, by being myself, by sharing my story, by being vulnerable."CONTINUE READING BELOWRecommended Videos
She adds, "It's worth it kasi nakakatulong ako sa ibang mommy na feeling nila hindi sila alone sa struggles nila, kasi andun ako, I'm struggling too."
'Pinay moms need planners now, more than ever'
As a Management Accounting graduate and powered by her daily experiences as a mom, Mommy K has launched free and downloadable digital planners that moms can use.
"Dapat onboard kami ng asawa ko sa mga gagawin sa bahay, that's why I started the planners. I truly believe Filipino moms need a planner now more than ever to keep up with life. Meron akong unpopular opinion na yung moms these days, we do a lot more compared sa moms in the old days. I'm not invalidating our Lolas, but that's the truth."
"We shouldn't adopt how they handle motherhood before. It won't work," she adds.
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"I'm a planner user. Madami akong wasted planners, kasi yung mga planners na makikita mo sa shops, hindi siya intended sa needs ko as a mom. So most likely, hindi ako consistent kasi yung day ko, iba. Or kailangan ko ng tatlong planners kasi ang dami kong kailangang gawin!"
She advocates for moms to ask for help and delegate their tasks. She cautions moms who are trying to do everything by themselves that it might lead them to burnout.
"We're only human, hindi natin kaya gawin lahat. When you push yourself na gawin lahat, walang good na makukuha ka doon kasi ma-burnout ka lang."
The homework of life
Mommy K paints a picture of the mental health load of moms based on her experience as a stay-at-home mom.
"Now the homework of life is tedious and never-ending: paying bills, banking, shopping, paperwork, comparing services, switching to better deals, setting up insurance, managing your schedule, managing your family’s schedule, making medical aapointments for you and your family.
The list goes on, "Organizing monthly & yearly car services, maintaining the house, loan contracts, monitoring plans that may expire yearly, every two years & so on, government regulations to comply means more forms to fill and fees to pay, yearly paperwork from school registration & enrollment, monitoring expenses on subscriptions like mobile plans, internet, streaming videos & streaming music."ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
She said, these are just a few examples of concerns that our grandparents didn’t have to worry when they were adults. "If moms are not organize enough, these things can cause stress due to mental load. And trying to remember all the things you need to get done takes an enormous amount of headspace," she said.
Not only for SAHMS, but for all
Mommy K believes that creating a plan is underestimated. She says that big companies start the year with a plan, and it’s an important factor to be able to achieve success.
"That's why sa planner ko, you have to review your month, your week. Success will come pag nag-plan ka."
She adds, planning helps moms feel that they satisifed with life and are achieving their goals. "Dati, I did five things today, pero walang progress sa buhay ko. Write it down, pag na-tick mo yung to-do list mo, progress over perfection."ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
Mommy K says, she made the planners not only for stay-at-home moms, but for all kinds of moms and even dads, who are managing their household. For her, managing the home is a big and important role, and by using planners, it would save time and energy.
"As long as I know na merong kahit isa lang na mommy na feeling niya from being sad in life, naging okay siya dahil narinig niya ang story ko, yun yung drive ko talaga. Kasi alam ko first-hand."
Her goal is to help moms by sharing free tools and tips to help moms better their lives.
"I can say it is worth it because in return it made me a better person too, I am in a place of contentment & happiness right now and it is because of my mom friends I met online- they think I was the helping them but they help me too in so many ways."ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
'Delegating your task does not make you pathetic'
By planning her tasks for the day, week, and month, her reward is tons of free time for her son and her husband.
Mommy K shares that her ultimate tip is to just write it out because mombrain is real.
"Download my free planners, and start taking the to-do list out of your head, write it down, and put it where everyone in the house can access it so you can share the mental load."
When asked how she plans to sustain her advocacy and how long does she see herself doing what she's doing, Mommy K said, "I think just being me is the only and the best way I can sustain my advocacy. The thing that drives me to continue sharing my story, tips and tools online is knowing I am helping other moms and by doing so it honestly made me a better person. I feel whole, happy and loved."ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
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