Smart Parenting’s Etiquette Guide On Gifts: When Is It OK To Have Gift Registries And Wish Lists

Welcome to the Smart Parenting Etiquette Guide series. From gift-giving etiquette to socializing with fellow parents, our goal is to offer valuable insights and practical advice to help parents navigate parenthood with grace and consideration. Join us on this journey as we explore the nuances of raising children while maintaining a sense of courtesy and respect throughout.

Gifts symbolize generosity and joy, marking special occasions or milestones in a person's life. For parents, witnessing their child gleefully unwrap and enjoy presents is a heartwarming experience. Perhaps, the desire to ensure their child's happiness often leads parents to become discerning about the gifts their children receive. In the age of social media, it's not uncommon to encounter parents venting about received gifts or godparents expressing frustration over perceived demands. To shed light on gift-giving etiquette for children, we've compiled a list of dos and don'ts for both parents and non-parents alike.

Do’s:

• Implement a gift registry for significant milestones: Consider using a gift registry for major events like your child's 7th or 18th birthday. A gift registry is a service typically offered by stores wherein customers can pick out the items they wish to receive as gifs. Traditionally, it’s associated with weddings but has now become acceptable for milestone birthdays. A well-curated registry aids in effective communication of the celebrant's preferences to guests.
• Create a wishlist for smaller events: For minor occasions and non-milestone birthdays, having a wishlist helps in avoiding duplicate gifts and allows your child to express their preferences.
• Diversify price range in your child’s registry or wishlist: Ensure that the listed items span various price ranges, from low to mid-priced to slightly higher-priced items, making it convenient for guests to find a suitable gift within their budget.
• Send registry in advance: Distribute your child's gift registry well before the event, allowing guests ample time to select and acquire their chosen gifts.
• Share registry or wishlist when requested: Share the registry or wishlist only when asked, to prevent any perception of being demanding. Many appreciate wishlists for providing thoughtful gift ideas.
• Express gratitude: Always express gratitude on behalf of your child, teaching them the importance of being thankful.

Don’ts:

• Don't reserve registries for small events: Using a gift registry for minor events may be perceived as tacky or opportunistic.
• Don't overwhelm everyone with registries: Refrain from sending the registry or wishlist to everyone unsolicited, as it may be seen as demanding. Wait for them to ask for it before sharing.
• Don't include excessively expensive items: Avoid including high-ticket items like mobile phones, tablets, or laptops. Such items are typically reserved for close family members. Please do not expect your child’s godparents (ninongs and ninangs) or parent friends to buy them for your child.
• Don't list cash or intangible gifts: Steer clear of adding cash or intangible items like extracurricular classes (such as gymnastics or swimming classes) to the registry, as these may be deemed inappropriate or the responsibility of the parents.
• Don't assume godparents will provide gifts: Do not presume that godparents are obligated to give gifts, especially without a planned event. Godparents are expected to provide additional guidance for your child, not gifts.
• Don't ask other people to cover party expenses: Avoid requesting godparents or others to pay for any party expenses such as cakes or giveaways, as celebrations are the responsibility of the hosting parents. On that note, don’t throw a party if you can’t afford it.
• Don't share account details for monetary gifts: Refrain from sharing account numbers or QR codes for monetary gifts, as godparents are not obliged to give money at any time or occasion.
• Don't guilt-trip for gifts: Do not guilt or demand gifts from others, regardless of their financial status. Your child's needs and wants are your responsibility.

Remember, while gifts hold significance, they should not overshadow the true essence of celebrating your child's milestones. Embrace gifts as gestures of appreciation rather than the focal point of the celebration.