Binalik Yung Exchange Gift, Hindi Nakakuha Ng Regalo: How To Help Your Child Deal With Disappointment

As much as we want the Christmas season to create happy and unforgettable memories for our kids, there are a lot of things that sometimes go beyond our control.

For one, a mom took to social media on December 16 her daughter's unpleasant experience during their school Christmas party.

Christine Francisco, 40, from Pasig City shared on Facebook that her 7-year-old daughter felt embarrassed when her classmate returned her gift from their exchange gift activity.

She said it was her daughter's first time attending such an event that's why it was a big deal for her.

Her post reads, "First time ni CRIZA MAINE ko na sumali sa Christmas Party!!! KUNG MAY TIME KAYO MAGBASA [laughing emoji]

"Mag rant lng ako pasensya na FB friends di kasi ako maka-move on alam ko napahiya at nsaktan anak ko.. Sa iba cguro maliit n bagay to pero sken iba tlga pag anak ko ang sumama ang loob..

"So eto na nga: Criza ung bunso ko ugali nya tlga na pag magreregalo ay sya ang mamimili so akong mother ehh go lng khit magkano pa yan.. i told her na 100 pataas ang price dapat..so she choose this pop it bag pra panregalo nya..

"So the xmas party begins...the program goes on kainan, games exchanging gifts nakuha ng anak ko parang damit pero d namin binuksan sabi ko s bahay na.. after the party i choose to help their teacher to clean the room..mya mya lumapit sken anak ko sadly says "ma binalik ung gift ko".. before that pala sinauli ng kapalitan nya with her mother ung gift nya at kinuha dn ung gift nung bata in front of other classmates...

"Nakita ko ung sadness sa mukha nya pra d magpatuloy ung lungkot i told her na its ok baby just sit there i will just finish this then will go home bibilhan kita ng ibang gift.. habang pauwi kami she said "ma ayaw nila ng gift ko?" Pra akong dinurog shutanesss.. sbi ko n lng s knya hindi baby bka di lng sya mahilig sa girl things..tara na lakad n uwi n tayo..grabe may ganun pala kaya ayoko isasali mga anak ko sa mga ganyan party..first time nya to join this year at sya lng s mga anak ko ang sumali s gnyan..kya grabe nasaktan ako pra sa anak ko..

"GIVE LOVE ON CHRISTMAS DAY pero ang nangyari returning gifts on christmas day. for me worth it naman for 100+ ung gift ng baby ko hindi naman yan lower.. magaganit naman kc girl din kapalitan nya..pero bakit kaya?"

Christine told Smart Parenting that after the incident, her child prefers to play by herself, and doesn't want to join parties. Sharing their experience on social media garnered the sympathy of netizens, some of which are parents.

The comment section of her post, which has over 44K reactions and 22K shares, was filled with uplifting messages for her daughter.

"Ang ganda naman yan maam.yan nga pangarap ng anak ko na bag," one user said.

Another user said, "Sa tingin ko, hindi lang naman about sa regalo ang exchange gift tuwing Christmas Party. Ito ay para matuto ang mga bata na tanggapin na hindi lahat ng gusto nila ay makukuha nila."

Meanwhile, other netizens are in shock at why the gift was returned, throwing hurtful comments to the other parent.

One user pointed out, "Sinauli ng kapalitan niya with her mother yung gift" to the mother, you are an adult, how could you do that to a child?"

READ ALSO: 6 Reasons To Let Your Child Experience Failure, Because Disappointments Are Part Of Life

How to help your child deal with disappointment

While no one knows the reason why her daughter's classmate returned the gift, we can all agree that this experience can serve as a teaching moment not only for our children but for parents as well.

“The disappointments are huge,” says Madeline Levine, Ph.D., author of Ready or Not: Preparing Our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain World. No one would wish this to happen to anyone's child, but it's a fact that we need to teach our kids how to live with disappointments.

When this happens to our own, here's what we can do to help them handle, according to experts.

1. Listen and validate their feelings

While it's easy for us parents to simply brush off the bad experience and provide a fix to our children's problems, it's important to listen and acknowledge what made them feel frustrated and disappointed. 

Carey Werley, LCSW, a clinical social worker at the Child Mind Institute said, it's normal for parents to make assumptions about what caused their child to feel sad, but she stressed, "It’s important to really listen… and meet them where they’re at.”

2. Provide perspective and avoid false assurances

When something unexpected like this happens to your child, as adults, we can give them a bigger picture of why these things happen and what can it teach us. However, let's not also be quick to tell them a lot of things that will make them feel better, especially if some of them are unrealistic. 

Childmind Institute advises instead that you share with your child your own past experiences of disappointment, how you dealt with those challenges, and what the results were.

3. Believe in your child

Dr. Levine said, “I think that’s the message that parents need to be aware of, which is some iteration of, ‘I think you can handle this. I know it’s really hard, but you got this.’”

If you see changes in your child after a similar experience and you feel like you need the help of an expert, follow your instinct and seek professional help.

Lessons for parents

One thing that we can do as parents is to remind our kids that no matter what happens, they are not alone, and we are here for them.

For Christine, the lesson she learned from this experience that she wants to share with other parents is her responsibility to teach her child to be grateful and appreciative of all things.

She added, "Be always at their side and help them to overcome sadness and being rejected."

Watch this video on 5 myths about family mental health and well-being debunked by psychologist Dr. Michele S. Alignay: