How These Parents Balanced Raising Kids And Getting Master's Degrees

Parenting is already hard. Would you complicate it by pursuing graduate studies? If you are a parent who has been considering to apply for a graduate program or are already halfway there, it's valid to have self-doubts, especially if you are raising little ones who are fully dependent on you. 

Smart Parenting spoke with three Filipino parents who have earned their master's degrees, and are living proof that parenthood is not a hindrance to pursuing their dreams. 

How these parents balanced graduate studies and parenthood

Take it as an opportunity to model good study habits.

Marge Lanzador-Medina, 46, from Taguig, is a researcher and has a 15-year-old son. She took up Master of Arts in Communication at the De La Salle University Manila in 2016. She was able to earn her master's degree in 2019.

"I was with government at that time and a master’s degree was required for a promotion. I wasn’t keen on taking Public Administration or the other course offerings of the agency, so I thought of the Communication program of DLSU, which I took previously, but was unable to finish," Marge shared.

Fortunately, Marge was able to return to the program. However, at the time, she didn’t have a permanent caregiver for my son, who was then in elementary. "I decided to resign from government service, focus on finishing the master’s program, accept freelance work as income source, and raise my son hands-on," Marge said.

"Looking at the big picture I’ve set for myself gets me back on track. We can always be inspired by other people’s stories, but each of us has his or her our own motivations from where we anchor our actions." —Marge Lanzador-Medina

For Marge, taking up graduate studies gave her the fulfillment that she was improving in a specific field, which is ideal if you are keen on achieving career progression or exploring better work opportunities.

Marge is currently working in the field of research, related to digital labor, "After years of working and practicing a routine, going back to school was a welcome change. My network widened and it allowed me to reflect on how I’d like to continue engaging in meaningful work."

^{Marge with her husband and their son}

However, it wasn't very easy. Marge said juggling her multiple roles was a balancing act. That's why, she believes, it is important to establish your purpose or your big 'why' early on. "Looking at the big picture I’ve set for myself gets me back on track. We can always be inspired by other people’s stories, but each of us has his or her our own motivations from where we anchor our actions," she emphasized.

There were also moments where she had to battle with self-doubts, but what helped her was to change her perspective. "The self-doubt could be a signal that I’m getting out of my comfort zone and expanding myself by embracing new knowledge and skills. I am grateful to my mentors in the program, who have been consistently patient and encouraging. When they critique the requirements submitted to them, they do so constructively and prompt you with other angles to explore that you become excited again (somehow) to return to the drawing board."

She tells parents who want to do the same but are filled with doubts,"If it’s a dream you’ve always nurtured in your heart, then go for it! I wouldn’t want to feel any regret later on in life."

^{Marge with her proud parents}

Marge believes the best time to pursue graduate studies is when you child is beyond the toddler years or at least in the elementary level. "They are more likely to understand the situation that a parent is studying too, and it’s a great opportunity to model good study habits," she said.

She also shared other tips for parents, "It helps to plan extensively, create a support system, share your game plan with the people involved and also to level off expectations when it comes to responsibilities or perhaps redoing the budget because of additional school expenses."

"I hope parents also enjoy the journey of learning by celebrating the wins like when you’ve finished a requirement or term," Marge added.

Apply to DLSU's Master of Arts in Communication until June 22, 2024 here.

Have a good support system.

For dad of two, Ace C. Acosta, from San Juan City, there were bumps and challenges before he finally finished his graduate studies. He first took up Masters in Public Administration at the University of the Philippines in 2014 when he was still single, and was able to complete the graduate diploma track when he became a dad.

"I really think that parenthood is not a hindrance to studying, so I continued my studies back then. However, when my son got [diagnosed with ] a life-threatening disease at 3 months old, I had to stop my studies to focus on him," Ace shared.

With his son's recovery, Ace took it as a sign to pursue his master's degree. He took a partial scholarship opportunity at the Asian Institute of Management. He was able to finish a degree of Master of Science in Innovation and Business in 2022.

"Have a disciplined approach to ensure you can balance and excel in everything you do. Also, make sure that you and your spouse have good teamwork." —Ace C. Acosta

However, during his first month at AIM, he and his wife found out that they were pregnant with their second child. During his third term in the program, he had to excuse himself from class as his wife was about to give birth. "Taking care of our newborn plus may panganay while attending classes, meetings, presentations definitely provided a lot of challenges physically, mentally and emotionally but by God’s grace I was able to overcome them successfully," he shared.

Ace revealed that having discipline and a strong support system helped him overcome the challenges. Now working as a Managing Director and Head of Patent Annuities in an intellectual property law firm, Ace believes that the advantage of pursuing graduate studies is becoming a good role model his kids. 

^{Ace with his wife and their two children, Zeke and Kari}

"When I had my graduate studies, my son also started attending school so I wanted to model how to be a diligent and disciplined student. Another advantage is the personal development that one can gain which I can apply not just at work but even at home," Ace stressed.

He highly recommends parents pursue advanced studies, especially fathers who are working towards a promotion to enable them to provide more for the family.

^{Ace with his wife, whom he considers as his biggest support system}

"By God’s grace everything is possible. If you think that advance studies will really provide better opportunities for you and your family, then pursue it. Have a disciplined approach to ensure you can balance and excel in everything you do. Also, make sure that you and your spouse have good teamwork," Ace shared.

Apply to AIM"s Master in Innovation and Business program until August 2024 here.

Never be afraid to seek help.

Patrisha Elaine Estrella, 28, from Taguig City, is a government employee with a 4-year-old daughter. She started taking up Master of Management - Business Management at the University of the Philippines Manila in 2023.

"I had planned to take my graduate studies even before I had my daughter. My original plan was to take it abroad. But when my daughter came, my priorities shifted. I decided to just take it here in the Philippines so that I could focus on raising her," Pat revealed.

As a single parent, taking graduate studies is Pat's way to advance her career and become more financially capable to provide for her daughter's needs. "Finishing my graduate studies will better position me to pursue professional opportunities that will allow me to become financially stable and independent," she said.

"Some days it will be very hard and make you think otherwise. But this is just temporary. Prove to yourself that you can do hard things." —Patrisha Elaine Estrella

Although it's extra challenging for Pat to balance her studies, work, and parenthood given her situation, she believes that it provides an avenue for continuous learning, which empowers parents like her. 

^{Pat with her classmates taken during their colloquium}

"I found that I can't be great at all of these things all at once. Sometimes, I have to prioritize work over my studies, or my studies over work. While I want to be a great parent all the time, there are days when I just dont have the energy to give my best to my daughter," she shared.

What helped her is setting boundaries and limiting distractions, like social media, binge-watching, and going out so she can focus her time, energy, and attention to the things that matter. She also found mentors and additional support system in her professors and classmates. 

^{Pat is grateful for the help of their yaya}

"I also struggled to take care of my health because of my busy schedule. Recently, I found out that I have hypothyroidism, which urged me to better take care of my health. Now I regularly take my supplements and vitamins, and eat healthily," Pat revealed.

Nevertheless, she encourages parents that pursuing their dreams is doable. "Some days it will be very hard and make you think otherwise. But this is just temporary. Prove to yourself that you can do hard things, that you love yourself enough to work hard for your goals. But at the same time, don't be too hard on yourself. Dont be afraid to fail. It's part of the process."

Her advice: "Never be afraid to seek help. You'll be surprised that there are a lot of people who are willing to help. The professors can also be really considerate of our circumstances as parents."

"Above all, take care of your physical and mental health," Pat concluded.

Apply to UP Manila's Master of Management - Business Management program here.