The Daza Sisters and Bianca Gonzalez Answer the Sex Questions We're Too Shy to Ask

In our culture, bringing up sex and intimacy usually gets the same reaction as talking about a social faux pas: a lot of awkward squirming, some frantic throat-clearing, and a very quick change of topic. It’s no wonder so many of us are walking around with far more questions than answers when it comes to our own sexual wellness.

We’ve spent so long avoiding the conversation that we’ve forgotten how to even start it.

That’s exactly what the Daza sisters, Isabelle and Ava, are hoping to change.

As hosts of The Sexytime Podcast and founders of the sexual wellness brand Jellytime, they’re throwing the doors wide open. They treat every question, no matter how shy or uncertain, with the kind of zero-judgment energy that makes you feel like you’re finally in a safe space to learn and explore.

And that’s the same energy they brought to Bianca Gonzalez’ Paano Ba To?, where the trio dove into taboo topics with such unfiltered honesty that listeners won’t feel the need to squirm or look away.

Despite having their own podcast and brand like Jellytime, Isabelle admits that talking about sex and intimacy has been “an uphill challenge.”

She shared, “When we started the podcast and when we came out of Jellytime, and people asked what it was, and we said it’s a sexual health brand, they would be so uncomfortable. There’s a lot of stigma.”

Fortunately, the tide began to turn.

“With the way we run our podcast, people are much more open to listening to it and enjoy it a little bit more.”

People are clearly responding. The Sexytime Podcast has become a hit, ranking among the top shows in the health, fitness and sexuality categories.

As guests on Bianca’s podcast, they brought plenty of spicy takes to questions that aren’t always asked but are definitely begging to be answered.

The sisters agree: intimacy is the work you put in long before the act itself begins.

It’s the morning kiss, the way you choose to show up for each other, and yes, even the way you dress before turning in for the night. As Ava pointed out, it’s about "every single movement and interaction."

It’s hard to build a bonfire if you don’t tend to the coals all day.

How do you stop the routine from turning into a rut?

The sisters shared a pro tip that sounds simple but can be a total game-changer: Find novelty in the mundane.

Marriage can easily slip into autopilot. One minute you’re having a romantic Saturday night, and the next you’re just two people sharing a couch. Let’s just say there are definitely less-than-glamorous versions of being comfortable with your spouse.

"It’s so routine, and then you can fall into this comfort zone where it’s Saturday night, let’s just stay in, let’s watch Netflix," Ava noted.

Isabelle added a hilarious reality check: "Or like scratching your ass in front of your partner, and then you’re going to smell it... and then your partner sees it and be like ugh..."

The goal is to always break the loop.

Their advice?

• Make an active effort to do things differently. 

• Skip the usual sofa-scrolling. 

• Go to a new restaurant. 

• Head to a park. 

• Do something that forces you to have a new conversation.

Isabelle didn’t sugarcoat it:

"Intimacy takes a lot of work. And it’s so much easier for us to fall back and lie down on our phones and scroll on TikTok."

Her challenge? Show interest.

Even if your partner is watching something you couldn't care less about, like the Winter Olympics, be present.

"Maybe it would be you putting your phone down and watching what he or she is looking at," she suggested.

Do you need to become an expert in their hobbies? Not at all. But showing them you’re choosing them over the algorithm can mean a lot.

Finally, don't be afraid to use the tools available to you.

Whether it’s introducing a new product to keep things pleasurable and fun or exploring new toys and experiences together, the goal is to keep things fresh.

As the sisters reminded us, when life gets busy and the mood doesn't always align, there’s no shame in getting creative to help maintain that connection.

The sisters and Bianca know this feeling all too well.

There are exhausting days when the mental load feels overwhelming, and moments when look at your partner and think, I love you, but can we just... not?

Sex can start feeling less like a romantic rendezvous and more like another task on an already overflowing plate.

And when those days come, it’s okay to admit that sometimes you’re just tamad.

As Isabelle pointed out, the process can become incredibly mechanical, stripping away the spontaneity that makes intimacy enjoyable.

"[Especially] when you’re trying, it can feel mechanical. It’s like… I’m ovulating. Let’s go."

She described how frustrating it can be when passion turns into a schedule.

The conversation soon shifted into the brutally honest and often hilarious reality of long-term intimacy.

Ava joked about those nights where you’re not really in the mood but decide to show up anyway:

"Don’t you see? Like I’m gonna starfish, but you can go."

It sounds funny, but it’s also a very real way some couples navigate those exhausted evenings.

The sisters’ advice?

Don’t beat yourself up for not being the movie-star version of yourself 24/7.

"It’s normal. You have to say yes, too. You can’t say no all the time," Isabelle shared.

They encouraged viewing those moments as investments in the relationship.

For consolation, Ava cheekily suggested, “Maybe try asking him to buy you something if you’re the one doing the heavy lifting that night!”

The hosts were quick to point out that when husbands ask for more intimacy, they also need to recognize that their partners are often juggling a million other things.

While the men are busy with their own routines, Isabelle joked about her husband balancing work and fitness, the mental energy women carry is often overlooked.

If you're feeling like you need receipts to prove how much effort you're putting into the relationship, the sisters shared a hilarious (and genius) anecdote about a woman who started logging intimate encounters on her calendar.

"She put it on her calendar all the time…" they laughed.

While you may not need to go that far, the takeaway is simple: intimacy shouldn't be about one person constantly demanding and the other constantly giving until they're drained.

As the sisters suggested, take inspiration from couples like Aubrey Miles and Troy Montero. Prioritize quality over quantity, find humor in the exhaustion, and remember that it’s okay to have days where you're “starfishing,” as long as you’re still finding ways to connect.

If you’ve been married for a decade or more, you’ve probably heard the advice: "Just be spontaneous!"

And if you’ve ever tried to be spontaneous while managing a household, you know exactly how unrealistic that can sound.

It’s not that the desire isn’t there. It's that the bandwidth is gone.

Ava perfectly captured the struggle:

"How can you get in the mood if you’re like… thinking of the million things [to do]?"

When you’re juggling baon, bills, house logistics, and your children's schedules, your brain doesn't simply off just because the lights go down.

You might be in the middle of a kiss when a random thought about the laundry or tomorrow’s schedule jumps in and ruins the moment.

Ava even joked that she’s been there herself, taking off her shirt while simultaneously wondering, "Wait, is that errand done for tomorrow?"

It may sound unromantic, but it’s simply the reality of carrying the mental load.

Because spontaneity can feel impossible when you're exhausted, the hosts shared a counterintuitive secret: scheduling.

Yes, it sounds the opposite of sexy. But for busy couples, putting it on the calendar can be an act of love.

One of the most comforting takeaways from their conversation is realizing that you don’t have to be a perfectly polished goddess to keep the spark alive.

Belle shared one of her own ways of nurturing that spark: buying lace lingerie with the intention of reconnecting.

She hadn't even worn it yet, but simply making the effort was enough to shift her mindset.

We like to think of intimacy as this spontaneous and effortless, like something straight out of a rom-com.

But if you’ve been married for a while, you know the truth: the best chemistry doesn't actually start in the bedroom.

The Daza sisters and Bianca Gonzalez highlighted an important reality: the quality of your sex life is often tied to the quality of your conversations outside of it.

It may sound unromantic to discuss credit card statements or savings goals when you'd rather be doing literally anything else. But as the sisters pointed out, money is often the elephant in the room that kills the mood long before anyone gets to the bedroom.

Isabelle shared how she and her husband manage this:

"Adrian and I run our household like a mini company. We check in once a month. We go through our finances. I have a cash flow. Adrian’s like, ‘How much did you spend on massages this month? Be honest.’”

When you’re transparent about money, whether it’s a massage habit or a sneaker addiction, you clear away the resentment that tends to build when partners aren't on the same page.

Talking about sex outside the bedroom, what you like, what you don't, and what you’re curious about, requires a similar level of vulnerability.

Ava admitted that even after launching a sexual wellness brand, those conversations can still feel awkward.

"I talked to my husband... I’d be like, 'I just learned this from the podcast.' And even saying that I'm so awkward—until now, I still get really shy."

The beauty of having these difficult conversations is that they build trust.

And trust is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Ava shared how weekly walks with her husband, Luch, have helped strengthen their marriage.

"We go for walks every week and in that walk, we always talk about one—our finances," Ava shared.

"But one practice that we’ve been doing, which I do want to share with your audience... is in that walk, we talk about three things that the other person did that week that you like."

When you’re transparent about money and honest about your needs, you stop carrying around the little frustrations that eventually turn into bigger resentments.

As Bianca Gonzalez beautifully summarized:

"Being open about sexual wellness, about intimacy, is just one piece of a bigger puzzle of a healthy home and your well-being is taken care of."

Even as they navigate the discomfort of a culture that’s still learning how to talk openly about sex, the sisters have no intention of stopping.

They understand that creating a safe space for dialogue is difficult work, but work that matters.

As Isabelle candidly shared:

"I always say, it’s free work, right? Because you’re not necessarily getting paid so much and for this time and you have to do the research... But because we have a bigger mission, because we’ve created a safe space to talk about sex and sexual health, it’s just been our North star and that’s what keeps us going."

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