Don't Take These 5 Things For Granted If You Value Your Marriage

A strong marriage has positive impacts on children. But what can ruin marriages? Based on research and experience, a lawyer listed in a 2021 article the top causes of break-ups among married couples. Immaturity, clash of personalities, and money issues were the most common. Infidelity and drifting away were also on the list.

On the other hand, what builds marriage? Not fancy and grandiose acts but simple gestures that couples can do every day, according to marriage coaches and Smart Parenting Squad members Dreus and Love Cosio.  In an Instagram reel, the parents of two shared five small good habits that most couples take for granted that actually help strengthen their marriage.

"Minsan, hindi yung malalaking away na mag-asawa ang sumisira sa pag-asama. Pero yung mga maliliit na bagay na nalilimutan mong sabihin o gawin," Love reminds.

5 Things Couples Forget That Builds Marriage

1. Giving hugs and kisses

The Cosios stressed the importance of intimacy in marriage. Intimacy doesn't always mean sex; giving hugs and kisses to your spouse before you leave the house and when you come home, sitting together, giving massages, or holding hands are habits that you should not take for granted. 

A previous Smart Parenting article highlighted that the most important rule for raising happy and successful children is to love your spouse. While there are different love languages, romantic touch is a powerful way to communicate with your partner, not to mention the numerous benefits of hugging.

2. Saying 'thank you' and 'I love you'

Experts and real couples agree that having good communication with your partner leads to a healthy and lasting marriage. Dreus and Love, who are authors of the book Love Connect, suggest that even in the little things that couples do daily, they should be able to show their gratitude and love for each other.

Other ways of expressing love for each other could also be through telling them that they look good, sending them sweet messages out of the blue, and asking them how they feel.

3. Going on dates 

When did you and your husband last go on a date without the kids? Several couples believe that going on dates or even trips with their spouses has done wonders to their relationship. It doesn't have to be grand all the time, Love stressed, "Even small pockets of conversations or kumustahan are very important in investing your growth and your closeness as a couple."

4. Planning surprises even when there's no occasion

Ten years married and with two kids, celebrity couple and podcasters behind Waking Up With Jim And Saab Jim Bacarro and Saan Magalona shared that one of the ways to keep the spark in their marriage alive is making sure their relationship won't stale. Dreus, who also hosts the CoShow Podcast, suggests that bringing home pasalubong or a treat for your spouse is a good place to start. He shares, "Yung pa-uwi ka lang, maisip mong 'Alam kong hilig ng asawa ko ang ensaymada. Makabili nga today.'"

Among other ways to surprise your spouse include giving notes, bringing flowers, and letting them shop.

5. Nurturing the relationship

Research shows that a well-nurtured relationship has health benefits for the couple. Among these benefits are lower blood pressure, less stress, and a better sense of purpose, according to Marriage.com.

Being intentional and responsible as individuals in your marriage is key to making it work. "Mga mister, ligawan niyo pa rin ng mga misis niyo at lambingin niyo pa rin sila. Itrato niyo sila bilang queen," Love reminds that marriage is a two-way street, "At tayo naman mga misis, don't forget to nurture in the most loving and committed way," she added.

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Every person is unique, and so is their love language. Do more of what makes your spouse happy and communicate how they can show you their love, too.

Join the 'Love Deeper' Workshop on March 15

Remember that it takes a village—not just in parenting but also in marriage. If you feel like you and your spouse would benefit from a workshop that can help level up your communication and more, sign up for Love Deeper, a workshop for married couples on March 15 at SMX Convention Center in SM Aura Premier, Taguig City. This event is in partnership with Smart Parenting.

• AM Batch: 8:30 AM to 12:00 NN
• PM Batch 1:00 PM to 4:30 PM

Limited slots only! Register here.

Read why Saab Magalona Bacarro thinks that silent expectations should be spoken here.