Jodi On Blended Family Setup: ‘A Loss Of A Marriage Does Not Mean A Loss Of A Parent’

Nearly a dozen years after Jodi Sta. Maria separated from her husband Pampi Lacson in 2010, the 39-year-old actress has apparently fully healed from what she considers as one of the most painful chapters in her life.

Jodi openly and candidly talked about her failed marriage in Karen Davila's vlog.

"It’s something na nangyari sa life ko na masasabi ko na isa sa pinaka-painful," she told the broadcast journalist. "Hindi ka naman papasok sa isang commitment or covenant para lang masira, di ba? So during that time when my marriage didn’t work out, I felt like I was the biggest failure, the biggest joke."

The now single mom of a teenager goes on narrating, "Alam mo, gano’n ang pakiramdam ko, na nagkaroon ako ng feelings of shame, of guilt, na ‘Shocks, nakakahiya. Kumbaga, hindi ko ito naayos. Hindi ko nabigyan si Thirdy ng buong pamilya. ‘Anong gagawin ko?’ So during that time talaga, I felt so low and I felt so down, and lost, and depressed."

Jodi's journey to recovery from a failed marriage

At first, Jodi recalled, she found a "distraction" in partying hard and often with her friends "just to drown lang all the pain and just to forget." But she soon realized, "Pagkagising mo the following day, masakit na nga ’yung puso mo, masakit pa ang ulo mo sa hangover."

Next, she buried herself in her work, particularly in the hit daily daytime drama series, Be Careful With My Heart, which ran from July 2012 to November 2014. She played the female lead role of Maya, a nanny who captured the heart of her wards' widower father called Sir Chief (played by Richard Yap).

The show was so popular that its producers at ABS-CBN arranged performance tours for the cast members to meet their fans in and out of the Philippines, including Los Angeles in the United States.

Jodi related what happened in one of the biggest auditoriums in L.A. where they performed: "For the first time, napuno siya ng 12,000 people watching our show. They were, like, screaming and all. I was singing and they were all, like, ‘Maya! Maya! Sir Chief! Sir Chief!’ Parang, okay, first time nangyari ’yun sa buong buhay ko.

"But then, after the performance, I ran back sa dressing room, and I started to sob, and then I asked my road manager during that time, sabi ko, ‘How come I’m still not happy? With everything that’s happening to my career, to my life.’ Pero bakit do’n sa peak na ’yun mas lalong na-magnify ’yung loneliness and emptiness."

That pivotal moment in Jodi's life led to her road to spirituality. She became open to a friend's biblical sharing, which then led to them going to a Gary Valenciano concert. She couldn't forget how moved she was by Gary's rendition of his hit Christian song, Take Me Out of the Dark, "’yung bigla na lang nakita mo ’yung sarili mo bumi-break down ako do’n sa concert."

Around that time, Jodi remembered having a constant communication with her costar in the 2011 drama series 100 Days To Heaven, Coney Reyes, who's also known for her Christian faith.

"Timing na nag-text siya," Jodi said of Coney, "asking me to go to church with her. Parang four years na siyang nagyayaya, 'Sige na nga pagbigyan ko na ’to.' So I went to church with her. May naka-set up na banda…’Yung sermon parang isinulat para sa akin." Since then, Jodi has been devoted to her Christian faith.

Forgiveness is the key

With spiritual nourishment, Jodi finally found the way to overcoming, to quote the title of her current drama series, The Broken Marriage Vow.

She explained on what she went through, "At first, I wouldn’t say na after the separation, ’yung ‘Sige na, let’s be friends.’ Walang gano’n. Siyempre, a heartbreak is a heartbreak. You have to go through all these feelings of grief and loss, di ba? And it’s not and it will never be easy.

"But I guess darating ka sa time na maiisip mo, ‘Ano ba ang mas importante?’ ’Yung nararamdaman ko every day na punong-puno ng anger and resentment ’yung heart ko? Or does my soul deserve peace?"

Jodi expounded when asked by Karen how she was able to forgive Pampi: "It is not easy talaga and does not come instantly. I think forgiveness is a choice that we have to make every single day. And also we forgive because we were also forgiven.

"We’ve done so many things in our lives na nakaka-hurt nang todo-todo kay Lord. Yet unlimited ’yung grace and forgiveness na binibigay Niya sa atin, so bakit hindi ako magpapatawad."

Nodding, she said that forgiveness is the key to healing from a failed marriage, but added: "I’m not saying that it’s easy or madali siya. But it’s possible."

For her son's sake

Jodi confessed that Thirdy played a big part for her to forgive her son's father Pampi. She explained, "And at that time, naawa din talaga ako anak ko. Naipit talaga siya sa dalawang nagu-umpugang bato. Ang parang hindi na nga namin siya nabigyan ng pamilya na buo, iipitin pa ba namin siya doon sa gulo namin? Because hindi kami magkasundo?"

The good news is, Thirdy doesn't only have a healthy relationship with Pampi but he also gets along well with Pampi's current partner Iwa Moto, along with Pampi and Iwa's two kids.

Jodi is completely fine with the blended family setup for Thirdy. She herself gets along well with Iwa and she even teased Iwa and Pampi for showing affection on social media (read here).

She pointed out, "I’m happy because a loss of a marriage does not mean a loss of a parent. So it’s important na may participation ’yung isa’t-isa sa buhay ng bata.

"That’s also something I learned through the years kasi ako, I grew up in a broken home, and wala akong dad. And ang dami kong realization na, ‘Ah, ito pala ’yung effect ng isang home na fatherless.’ Mayroon kang psychological wounds, you have abandonment issues and all. And that’s something na I want to spare Thirdy from, na ma-experience niya ’yung na-experience ko."