I Want My Son’s Father To Be A Better Dad To His New Kids–How A Single Mom Knew She Was No Longer Bitter

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I am a single mom of a wonderful eight-year-old boy. I’ve been a single mom since I was pregnant. Nag-decide ako na itigil ‘yung sustento dahil sa stress na natanggap ko at that time, and I don't want his father to provide ng may "kapalit". Kase kung gusto niya talaga mag-sustento, wala dapat kahit anong kapalit, diba? Kasi para naman ‘yun sa anak mo. So I told him to stop. And that was a long time ago.

Father's Day was a few days ago and I greeted him. I messaged him. He has his own family now, 3 kids, and a beautiful live-in-partner. I'm not jealous, I am happy for both of them. We are friends on Facebook. When I saw some of their family posts and pictures, I felt happy.

Nag-message ako sa kaniya, telling him how thankful I am na I have a wonderful son and that our son gave me so much hope to continue living and to be successful in all ways. I told him that his son and I are better. And I am not hurt and angry anymore, and we are on good terms.

Matagal ko na siyang pinatawad, and I want him to be a better father sa tatlong anak niya. That's enough for me.

'I am not closing my doors if he wants to get to know his son someday. And that will be my son's decision.'

Hindi ako nag-message sa kanya para lang mag-paawa. Siguro naman I have the right to do so, diba? I just want him to know that we are better off without him. I mean, talagang mas okay kami. After I sent that message, I smiled and realized na ang layo ko na pala, na nakayanan ko nang wala siya sa amin. And I get to see my son grow and be a happy and active kid. I am happy.

Some may say in denial ako about my feelings. But no. I prayed about this for a very long time, to have the courage to message him and just let him know that we are okay. Kasi baka part of him wants to know, I don't know. But I am not closing my doors if he wants to get to know his son someday. And that will be my son's decision if gusto niya makilala tatay niya, pero either way, irerespeto ko ‘yun.

I know that he's happy too, with his own big family. I too, someday, will have my own version of a big family. And I am not crying about how painful and hurt I am anymore. Now, most of the time, I am crying because of how blessed I am to have my son and family with me. I am grateful.

The father of my son replied, "Maraming salamat". And that's enough for me. I have moved on and am at peace.

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