Xian Lim Feels No Pressure To Settle Down With Kim Chiu Soon. Dads Agree, 'It's About Being Ready'

Actor Xian Lim says, he doesn't feel any pressure to marry to her long-time girlfriend Kim Chiu anytime soon.

"Hindi ko naman po nararamdaman. Basta ang kasunduan namin, as long as nagmamahalan kami ng lubos, that's all that matters," the actor said in a press conference of his new GMA-7 TV show, False Positive, as quoted by Pep.ph.

Xian explains, it's important to be prepared in making such decision. "I strongly believe na dapat plantsado lahat yan before pumasok at you take that leap of faith in having a baby or getting married."

He adds, "Dahil baka kasi pag hindi pa plantsado lahat, I mean, this is just my opinion. Iba-iba naman ang rason ng tao eh. But I think na parang you don't want na yung mga problema o ganyang hurdles na lumabas, pag once andun na kayo sa point na yun na magkakagulo kayo, it might shake up the relationship and there might be a chance na magkahiwalay pa kayo."

He also said they haven't talked about pursuing a pre-nuptial agreement in case they get married soon.

Xian, who is already in a relationship with Kim for 9 years, gave a tip to other couples. "Ang relationship is like building a house. Dapat strong yung foundation. Kung hindi strong ang foundation ninyo, mabilis din yang mabubuwag."

Dads share their turning point to get married

Parents in the Smart Parenting Village also shared their thoughts about the pressure of getting married.

Dads sided with Xian, saying it takes preparation and commitment for them to actually propose and move the relationship forward.

When asked what was the turning point for them to get married, Daddy Mikko Santiago says, "For us, it was about BEING READY. Specially talking about bills!" 

Daddy Mikko, who got married in February 2020 after being in a relationship with his wife for 3 years, says they talked about their finances a lot before going into marriage.

"We talked about it cause we both know na mahirap sya i-handle. So far so good, we struggle sometimes but God still provides."

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Daddy Irone Boquiron also shared his experience, and said that the turning point for their marriage is when the couple knows that they are ready financially and emotionally. "Totoo namang the marriage is based on love, but love alone will not feed you and your kids (if you plan on having them). Kailangang handang i-sustain ang marriage."

He said they got married at 35 years old, but they didn't mind the pressure and because both of them already have stable careers and own assets.

"Swerte kami sa isa't isa dahil nang ikinasal siya sa akin, nagkaroon siya ng instant bahay, lupa, at kotse dahil ito na naipundar ko kahit single pa lang ako. Swerte naman ako kay wifey dahil nang ikinasal ako sa kanya, nagkaroon ako ng instant condo dahil ito naman naipundar niya."

Daddy Paul Genesis Sahagun meanwhile shares, more than being ready financially and emotionally, there are other factors that they considered before getting married: career, family, religion and tradition, and values.

"Pero kasi nabuntis na si misis, so ayun nagpakasal na din kami diretso, nag-usap usap ang mga pamilya at pinabukod kami. Ika-nga "even if you're not ready for the day, it cannot always be night", kaya parang kahit di ka pa ready sa ibang aspects ng buhay, kailangan mo lang talaga maging ready."

He adds, "Nasa simula pa lang kami at kung hindi dahil sa foundations na nakuha namin as privilege from our parents di kami makaka-cope sa sunud-sunod na expenses. 

"Looking back, di naman talaga sa tagal yan nasa kalidad ng pagsasama yan. Totoo yung sinasabi ng mga matatanda na madali mag asawa, pero mahirap ang buhay mag-asawa lalo na sa pagpapamilya."

We also got responses from moms.

Mommy Genevieve Ligayo says, she got married to her partner after 10 years in the relationship.

"We decided to finally get married when we had our first born. My parents are Catholics, but they didn't force us to get married when they learned that I was pregnant. They still waited for us to decide. We were not ready in some aspects but I think that's a responsibility, once you're married, priorities change."

As for Mommy Ayeen Valdezco-Regalado, she has a question for long-term couples like Xian and Kim to reflect on.

"It's a matter of being committed. Are you ready for a lifelong commitment? Are you ready to fall in love with the same person EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE REST OF YOU LIFE?"

Indeed, marriage takes preparation because it's the first step to building a family. While we might mean well when we ask long-term couples when they are going to get married, may we respect their decisions, and trust the timing of their lives.