John Lloyd Cruz Talks Fatherhood, Co-Parenting With Ellen Adarna

John Lloyd Cruz recently shared the lessons he learned about fatherhood and the cherished moments he spent with his son Elias, particularly during their time in Cebu during the pandemic.

“Kaya ako nag-stay dun para makita ko yung anak ko, kahit pandemic,” he told Philstar.com exclusively. The experience shaped him as a father, adding that the best part of staying in Cebu was being there for Elias during his formative years.

He said, “At that time, it was formative for myself, not just for him. Because those formative years, one to two (years old), we were still there. Iba yung memories nung panahon na yun.”

Fatherhood has taught the 41-year-old actor more than he ever expected. He describes his relationship with Elias as one where he, the parent, is constantly learning from his child.

“With Elias, I feel like I’m the one learning from him. I’m the one gaining so much. I’m the one taking notes. He’s amazing! Ang galing nung bata. Very humbling. It’s like I’m the child and he’s the parent,” he remarked.

The main lesson he has learned? “Getting to know yourself again and again. That’s number one. It’s constantly reminding yourself to just relax… like, you learn not to overthink too much. (It’s about giving yourself) chances.” Fatherhood, he said, is a “very personal thing.”

“‘Di ako makikialam sa pagiging tatay ng kahit na sino… Basta yung sa akin, ako na bahala. Yung sa iba, bahala na sila. Nobody is perfect,” he added.

ALSO READ: John Lloyd, Ellen Adarna, and Derek Ramsay: Co-Parenting Positively, No Bashing

On His Parenting Style
John Lloyd’s approach to parenting is refreshingly relaxed. He doesn’t pressure Elias to follow any specific path. “Buhay niya 'yan. I don’t force anything on him or drill into his head that he has to do this or that,” he shared.

When Elias once expressed an interest in following his dad’s footsteps and pursuing art, saying, “Dada, I want to do what you do,” John Lloyd quipped, “What am I doing? I’m not even doing anything. Wala nga akong trabaho eh,” and thought to himself, “Naku anak, 'wag!” Though he joked about it, he remains fully supportive of whatever his son chooses to pursue.

“Whatever he wants—whatever he wants to do—anak, go for it.”

How John Lloyd and Ellen Make Co-Parenting Work

John Lloyd is grateful for the positive dynamic he shares with his former partner, actress Ellen Adarna, especially in co-parenting their son.

In the interview with Philippine STAR, he praised their arrangement, saying, “There’s nothing to complain about. Maganda ang setup namin, maganda dynamics namin, we don’t have any problems. I’ve heard stories na wow ang hirap ha. I really appreciate Ellen sa setup talaga na tinayo niya. Kasi dalawa kayo, magkaiba yung ways niyo.”

“I’m very lucky. I don’t have any problems with my son, with our schedule. Everything is smooth,” he added.

When asked for his thoughts on making co-parenting work, he acknowledged that every situation is unique. “To each his own... It’s not like we didn’t struggle at the beginning. It’s not like we didn’t go through challenges, you know, before getting to where we are now. Everyone has their own story— this is ours, and I’m sure others will have their own as well,” he shared.

John Lloyd also highlighted the importance of flexibility in a co-parenting setup, saying it’s okay to rely on whoever is there for the child. “With co-parenting, it’s not just limited to the real parents. Sino ba yung tumatayong parent sa anak mo na makakausap mo or makakabatuhan mo? And that’s okay if ’yun ang diskarte mo,” he said.

Time flies, and Elias is now six years old. He recently became an older brother when Ellen gave birth to her second child with her husband Derek Ramsay. 

John Lloyd shared a heartwarming moment when Elias expressed his feelings about it in his own way. "Nung [una,] akala ko na parang a bit resistant... But when he went home, he gave her a painting that he made," he recalled.

The painting was a beautiful gesture, one that surprised John Lloyd and even Ellen, as it showed Elias' thoughtful and artistic side. “Ang galing. No (we didn’t coach him). Walang sinabihan sa amin, even yung close na pinsan niya. And hindi ko nakita. After I saw Ellen’s post, dun ko nakikilala 'yung anak ko ng wow, okay, galing ha."

Currently, John Lloyd admitted that he doesn’t often get to see Elias. “Hindi naman kami everyday nagsasama. That’s a big learning process for me. You’re just human, you’re also a father, and I don’t get to see him often.” Despite this, he makes an effort to be there for his son both physically and emotionally. “I hope he knows I’m here for him,” he said.

Click here to read real stories of moms' co-parenting experiences.