Top US Doctor Calls For Better Support For Parents: Parenting ‘Is More Stressful Than Any Job I’ve Had’

Parents often feel like they’re running a never-ending marathon. Between diaper changes, school runs, and trying to fit in a little self-care, the days can feel overwhelmingly long. But this sense of being stretched thin isn't just your imagination.

The US Surgeon General, also referred as “The Nation’s Doctor,” Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, understands this struggle deeply and is bringing much-needed attention to it.

“As fulfilling as parenting has been, the truth is it has also been more stressful than any job I’ve had. I’ve had many moments of feeling lost and exhausted.” -Dr. Vivek H. Murthy

Parents, we see you.

Parenting: The Hardest Job

In an opinion piece he wrote for The New York Times, Dr. Murthy began by acknowledging how challenging parenting is. And he is walking proof of it having experienced a stressful moment when his daughter had a medical bout at just a year old.

Dr. Murthy recalls when his daughter was just a year old and had to undergo emergency surgery due to a severe infection in her thigh. "Thankfully, she's now a healthy, spirited young girl," he shared, "but those days in the hospital were some of the hardest of my life. We got through it because of excellent medical care, understanding workplaces, and loved ones who showed up and reminded us that we were not alone."

“The joys are indeed abundant, but as fulfilling as parenting has been, the truth is it has also been more stressful than any job I’ve had. I’ve had many moments of feeling lost and exhausted,” Dr. Murthy notes also noting that this is a sentiment shared by many parents across his country and many “are struggling, often in silence and alone.”

Unseen Struggles of Parents

Dr. Murthy cited a recent study by the American Psychological Association which found that 48% of parents feel their stress is completely overwhelming most days, compared to 26% of other adults.

Parents are juggling typical worries like money and safety, along with modern stressors such as omnipresent screens and the youth mental health crisis. Worse yet, many parents feel they’re handling these challenges alone. Single parents, in particular, report feeling lonelier than other adults.

Parents are exhausted because they have less time for rest, leisure, and relationships than in the past. They’re spending more time working and caring for their children, and this constant juggling act affects their mental well-being.

The pressure is amplified by the unrealistic expectations promoted online. This constant online comparison contributes to burnout and leaves many parents feeling as though they are always behind.

This pushed Dr. Murthy to public an advisory on the state of parents being a public health issue and calls for actionable support to help parents navigate the challenges that come with their role.

"The mental health of parents has a direct impact on the mental health of children," Dr. Murthy emphasized.

Real Support for Real Struggles of Parents

Dr. Murthy’s strong message: “The stress and mental health challenges faced by parents — just like loneliness, workplace well-being and the impact of social media on youth mental health — aren’t always visible, but they can take a steep toll. It’s time to recognize they constitute a serious public health concern for our country.”

He adds, “Parents who feel pushed to the brink deserve more than platitudes. They need tangible support.” And we totally agree.

By tangible and actionable support, Dr. Murthy means better financial support, paid time off for new parents, affordable childcare, and access to reliable mental health care for both parents and kids.

It also means having safe, affordable before- and after-school care programs, predictable work schedules, and supportive workplace leadership can make a huge difference.

"Safe playgrounds, libraries, and community centers can give children places to play and learn and also serve as valuable settings for parents to gather and build social connections," Dr. Murthy noted.

Reading these, made us hope the Philippines also has a Dr. Murthy.

Aside from on organizational-led support, Dr. Murthy also calls on everyone to check on parents we know and be of support even in our own little ways.

Simply showing up can make all the difference. Dr. Murthy shared an anecdote about a friend who helped him and his wife during a tough time. "I experienced that when my son was 4 months old and my wife and I had not slept for more than four hours straight in months. A friend came over and played with our child for 15 minutes. Even that was long enough for us to catch our breath. My friend probably thought nothing of it, but that feeling of relief and gratitude is still fresh for me."

The Call for Change Is Also For Parents

Dr. Murthy’s believes change is two way, while calling for support, he also encourages parents to view asking for help as a strength, not a weakness. "It’s still hard for me to admit when I feel I’m falling short as a parent. But each time I reach out to a friend or family member or each time I respond when someone reaches out to me, I feel more ease and less stress. Parenting at its best is a team sport."

While worry is inevitable in parenting, Dr. Murthy believes that by reorienting our priorities to give parents and caregivers the support they need, we can ensure the balance skews toward joy.

"Given the responsibility it entails, raising children is never going to be without worry. But reorienting our priorities to give parents and caregivers the support they need would do a lot to ensure the balance skews toward joy."

Thank you, Dr. Murthy for helping parents feel seen. We only hope his vision of better place for parents would not only take place in the U.S. but throughout the world.