Mom of two Divine Lee-Go spoke an important truth about parenthood with her open letter to her firstborn child Baz, 1 year old, on her social media accounts yesterday, November 5.
In a way, it was also a response to people who question her ways as a mother.
Divine began her message by saying, “People ask ‘Why do you let him eat hotdogs,’ ‘Tulungan mo na, kawawa and tumatagal,’ ‘Wag dyan madumi,’ ‘Masama yan lahat pinost mo.’ One day you’ll see those videos — the time I refused to help, the times I let you steal ‘non-baby food’ or when I let you ‘swim’ on the dirty floor of the mall.
“As much as I wanna blame laziness, it takes more effort to let you do things like these.
“Heck, I can micro-manage your menu, I can stack those cups myself in 5 seconds na and I can easily carry you when you’re throwing a fit (less embarrassment pa). But making you a capable adult does not start in High School. It starts now.”
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In truth, there is a lot of wisdom in Divine’s words — it appears she is trying to avoid overparenting her child. Overparenting, or helicopter parenting, is when parents hover too much on their kids, i.e., doing tasks for them, shielding them from hardships, and micro-managing their lives, that the children miss out on learning important skills and life lessons like independence. While this can be easily justified as “love,” it does not serve the child well.
Divine continues, “Go, taste as much food as you want. Yung tipong kahit san lupalop ka, di ka magugutom. Masaya kumain and I’m not gonna deprive you of that. Joy of life ang kumain.
“Sorry for not helping you stack your cups, but I want you to figure things out yourself and learn that you need to work hard to get what you want. As much as we want to help you with everything in life, we know that’s not possible so I want you to develop life skills.
“And sorry for not picking you up when you were throwing a fit. I want you to learn to get back up, stop whining and start doing.”
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For an achiever and multi-tasker like Divine (remember how well she planned Baz’s birth, bringing several maletas and booking a photographer and make-up artist in advance? She was as well-prepared when she gave birth to daughterBlanca Dietrich in October 2019), it must be really difficult to hold back from helping out Baz when she could easily do so.
“To be honest, it’s much harder for mama not to help you when I want to give the world to you. But raising you as a capable child is the only way I’d know you’d be a capable adult.
“I let you do these things coz I believe in you and will never underestimate your capabilities.
“You are born under an Earth Sign like your mama. Air cannot move you. Water cannot drown you. And fire cannot scorch you.”