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Scarlet Snow Confesses To Taking Something That Wasn't Hers, 'I Promise I Will Never Do That Again'
PHOTO BY INSTAGRAM /DOCHAYDEN AND SCARLETSNOWBELO
  • Asking a child “What happened?” when there’s a behavior that needs to be addressed is a parent’s go-to, but how would you react if your child voluntarily shared her mistake and in detail?

    That’s what Scarlet Snow Belo did for her mom, Vicki Belo. Dad Hayden Kho shared the back-to-back “confession” for “Mommy” written by hand on a sheet of bond paper.

    The seven-year-old’s confession details the following: What happened, what I felt, what did I do, what I should have done, what I did after, and what I did I do wrong. At the end she drew a big heart with a promise in all caps, “I promise I will never do that again.”

    Scarlet promises her mom Vicki Belo that she will never take something that's not hers again.
    PHOTO BY INSTAGRAM /DOCHAYDEN

    Below both sides of the paper she signs her name in cursive, and in front it details, ‘Secret for: Mommy’.

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    RELATED: Dr. Hayden Kho: 'I Try To Answer All Of Scarlet Snow's Questions. Sineseryoso Ko'

    So what happened?

    Based on Scarlet Snow’s account, she bought chips and cookies together with a friend who also bought chips. But when it came to snacking, her friend set his aside and ate her snacks.

    “I felt sad because I didn’t get many chips’ she writes under ‘What I felt’. And in the next line she tells her mom that she got her friend’s chips, presumably after they both finished her snacks.

    Scarlet Snow realizes through her account that “I should have just bought another one or tell him how I felt.” But when she returned it, he asked her a couple of questions and he resumed playing which prevented Scarlet Snow from correcting her mistake.

    At the back, she concluded “I took something that was not mine”, her answer to ‘what did I do wrong’. And then she ends it with her promise never to do it again.

    ‘You have such a good heart’ 

    Hayden Kho posted photos of both pages of Scarlet’s written story on his Instagram account and explained what actually happened.

    “Oh my darling @scarletsnowbelo you have such a good heart…” he writes on the first page of the story.

    Dad Hayden shares on his Instagram story Scarlet's "confession".
    PHOTO BY INSTAGRAM /DOCHAYDEN
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    On the second he fills in the details. “So apparently she shared her chips, but then her friend finished it and left her with nothing.” He used a smiling face with tear emoji on the picture.

    RELATED: How Vicki Belo and Hayden Kho Educate and Discipline Scarlet Snow

    Based on these two Instagram stories, it looks like Scarlet Snow shared with her story with her mom and only noticed her wrongdoing. 

    As an adult or guardian would have noticed, what started the misunderstanding was that Scarlet Snow’s snacks were consumed without her permission.

    How to help process your child’s feelings and manage behavior

    It’s admirable that a seven-year-old can process the events and her feelings–especially in writing, almost like a grammar exercise. 

    It may not come easily to most children to reflect about what happened, how it made them feel, and what they could have done instead. Surely it does not come naturally unless it is a habit parents help their kids to do.

    Here are few tips when it comes to managing your child’s behavior:

    1. Stay calm.

    If you’re too upset about their behavior, calm yourself down first before you think through with your child about the event and his feelings. 

    You can also ask your partner if he or she is more level-headed at the moment, to take on sorting things out with your child.

    2. Listen without judgment.

    Ask open ended questions like the ones Scarlet Snow answered. These are Big Life Journal’s ‘Do’s’:

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    • What happened?
    • How did it make you feel?
    • What do you think the problem is?
    • What did you mean when you said…?
    • How did you feel when they said that?

    Don’t try to fix the problem right away. It deprives the child of the opportunity to reflecti on their actions.

    3. Show empathy.

    Recognize their hurt feelings by saying something like, “That must have really hurt when they said that.”

    Don’t assume that your child is always the victim especially when they’re encountering trouble with their friends.

    4. Ask if they need your help and what they can do next time.

    Instead of deciding what your child needs and fixing the situation on your own, allow him to come up with the kind of support he needs from you.

    You can say, “I’m always here if you need my help.”

    MORE STORIES ON MANAGING CHILD'S BEHAVIOR:

    Don’t minimize or invalidate their feelings because you don’t think it’s a big deal. Remember that they are only kids and how they feel might be a bigger deal to them than it is to you.

    That might sound like, “Okay lang yan, wala lang yun.” Or “Let it go, they didn’t mean it.” It may be true but it can also invalidate your child’s feelings.

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    5. Make them feel empowered.

    Big Life Journal suggests saying: “I know this is hard. I believe you can handle this.”

    Avoid shaming them into proper behavior. Remind them instead that you believe they can learn from their mistakes and do better next time.

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