'Nakakadurog Ang Ganito' Dad Of Boy With Autism Heartbroken For His Son Who Has No Playmates

The following story was first shared on Facebook by Jaime De Guzman, who spoke exclusively to Smart Parenting about his struggles as an ausome father. It is republished here with his permission.

My son Jamir is my AUsome kid. He is a special kid. Ito ang madalas na tagpo sa playground kasama ang iba pang mga bata. Jamir is usually being left out or ignored. Wala siyang bilang kumbaga. Madalas, hindi siya isasali ng ibang bata sa kanilang laro.

Kung isasali man, siya ang taya. Kung isasali man, after few minutes, umiiyak na si Jamir at aayaw na. Kung isasali man e may kondisyon tulad ng “kuha ka food sa inyo” o “kuha mo kami ng tubig para friends tayo.”

Knowing Jamir, he will comply kasi gusto nyang maging belong. Otherwise makakarinig ka ng “wag mong isali yan, hindi naman nakakaintindi yan” o di kaya ay “wag na yan isali kasi hindi marunong, iyak lang nang iyak.”

Hindi naman natin masisisi ang ibang bata. But this breaks my heart as a father. Sa mga ganitong sitwasyon, nakatanaw lang kami and we let Jamir process the situation on his own. Kahit sa totoo lang ay nakakadurog na makita sa ganitong sitwasyon ang anak mo—nang madalas.

'Sa ngayon, kami na muna ito. Kami na muna ang kanyang tunay na kaibigan. Kami na muna ang uunawa. Kami na muna ang iintindi. Kami na muna ang hindi siya iiwan.' -Jaime De Guzman

Yung tipong ngingiti ka sa anak mo habang sinasabi na “kaya mo yan” pero sa loob mo ay bumabaha na ang luha dahil sa nakikita mong kalagayan. Umaasa na lang kami na sa tamang panahon ay makakatagpo rin si Jamir ng mga tunay na kaibigan, mga taong makakaintindi sa kanyang kakulangan, mga taong may pag-unawa at hindi siya iiwan.

Sa ngayon, kami na muna ito. Kami na muna ang kanyang tunay na kaibigan. Kami na muna ang uunawa. Kami na muna ang iintindi. Kami na muna ang hindi siya iiwan.

An ausome parent's dream for his child

"These are just some of our struggles that we keep to our family, said Jaime De Guzman to Smart Parenting. "And it is really hard. But we keep on holding on for Jamir. Jamir is a seven-year-old boy, like any other, who longs to have playmates. He was also diagnosed to be on the autism spectrum.

Jaime is an employee and his wife is a stay-at-home mom. "Dati, we want him to be a doctor or pedia. Well hindi naman sarado sa ganitong pangarap kasi we are open depende sa gusto nya, said Jaime. "In all honesty, what we want for him is to pursue what he wants. Wala kaming expectation at all na 'sana maging piloto, doctor, etc.'

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"Pero now, considering his diagnosis, sa totoo lang, mas lalong hindi na mahalaga yung pangarap namin sa kaniya. What we want now is to give him happiness as much as we can. Gusto naming balang araw e magawa nyang mag-function just like the other people.

Jaime adds, "Gusto namin balang araw e may uunawa sa kanya o may magmamahal na tulad namin. Kasi 'yun naman ang greatest fear ng lahat--what if wala na kami. Paano siya."

An ausome parent's dream: an inclusive society

His message to other parents is compassion. "We wish that people can be more compassionate to other people lalo na sa mga kids on the spectrum. Well sa lahat—bata man o hindi. Be kind, always. Sana lahat kayang umunawa, kung hindi man e maging mabuti sa kapwa regardless ng kalagayan nito."

Jaime also hopes for a more inclusive society. "Let us build a safe community for people with disability. Pati sa mga caretaker or guardian nila. Challenging na ang buhay ng mga pamilyang ito to start with so what we can do is to be kind with them."

Read this story of a mom who got mad at herself after her son was diagnosed with ASD.