Saab Magalona Doesn’t 'Need Your Pity' Because Her Son Has Special Needs, 'He's Our Pride And Joy'

Saab Magalona, mom of two and podcaster received “shocking” comments on her eldest son. She wrote on Instagram on October 8, 2022 that she thought she was ready to face these comments now that her sons are allowed outside after almost two years of lockdown, but she admitted it was still shocking.

What kind of comments did she receive? “Sayang naman,” was one of them. 

Saab provided context through her post. “As much as we’re enjoying finally giving our children more opportunities to experience the world, unfortunately, we have also been subjected to some not-so-pleasant comments, she wrote.

She explained that her eldest son Pancho has received comments that might seem well-meaning to some. 

“Believe it or not, in just the past few weeks, we’ve been told ‘sayang naman’ ‘gwapo pa naman’ or ‘awang awa kami sa anak niyo, she wrote.

Saab said she thought that at this point, she was ready to educate others but in the moment of receiving such comments, but their initial reaction is still to "clam up.

“We thought we were prepared for this. That we would take it as a chance to educate people to choose a better way of saying things, she said.

Saab added, “But in reality, it’s way too shocking to actually respond in the moment so we just clam up.

‘Pancho is our pride and joy’

Based on Saab's Instagram post, it is clear that she does not look at herself, her son, or her family with pity. In fact it is the opposite that is true, she is proud of Pancho. "Pancho is our pride and joy. He's our source of happiness.

She goes on to say that Pancho may be physically dependent on his family, but they too are dependent on him in a different way. "He may be dependent on us but we are also dependent on him. He makes life easier.
Saab adds, "Pure joy is no longer sought, instead it's something we experience on a daily basis.

RELATED: Jim Bacarro On Pancho Defying Odds: 'We Were Ready To Raise And Love A Blind Child'

Here's her lesson for people who are unfamiliar with family members of people with special needs: they are not suffering. They are not, as it is often said in Filipino, kawawa. 

"Being parents of a child with special needs can be challenging, but it is also a privilege and honor with rewards beyond our wildest dreams.

Saab may have posted about their family because of World Cerebral Palsy Day, celebrated on October 6. "Since it was #worldcerebralpalsyday yesterday (exactly when one of these instances happened), we'd like to remind everyone that families with special needs members do not need your pity.

RELATED: Saab Magalona Shares How She Disciplines Pancho: 'We May Have Spoiled Him A Little Bit'

What they would appreciate, instead of "well-meaning" comments are kind words and support. "And if you ever encounter a family with special needs, give them kind words and support instead.

She ends her post rallying fellow Cerebral Palsy "armies" and "warriors", "Fight lang tayo."

What we're learning: Take charge of your life

We love how Saab gracefully put her message despite her understandable reaction of being put off. And here's what we've learned: we can rid ourselves of "kawawa naman ako" thoughts or victim mentality. The flip side is not looking at others by checking what’s missing or “what’s wrong”.

Especially in the case of special needs, cerebralpalsy.org encourages people to use “people first” language. “A person with impairment should not be defined by his or her condition: He is not spastic, he has spastic Cerebral Palsy.

RELATED: Saab Magalona Shares Pancho's Milestone With Message For Parents With Special-Needs Kids

Everyone could use the reminder: people first. Perhaps practicing it in language will also help us look at each other in the same way, people, not impairment or disability first.

And when we want to comment, think through it first. Does the comment assume the best of the other person? Or does it just make us feel good about ourselves regardless of how the other person feels?

As Saab says, kind words and support is much more appreciated especially by a family with a member who has special needs.