Is Your Child Makulit? Nope, They’re Just Growing Up

Parents know that every child has their own brand of naughtiness, and we try to manage it the best we can. We read up on parenting kinds, tips, and hacks, striving to keep a level head, especially on challenging days.

Here’s the thing: most of these so-called bad or naughty behaviors are typically children’s reactions to environmental conditions, related to their development phase, or are direct reactions to our own actions. Once we recognize it this way, we can respond proactively and compassionately.

Here are a few ways kids might seem to be misbehaving but really aren’t, and what we can do to help.

They directly disobey you

Ever had your child do the complete opposite of what you say, like throwing away an item right after you said, ‘Don’t?’ Well, they can’t technically control themselves because research suggests that the part of the brain involved in self-control doesn’t fully mature until the end of adolescence. Recognizing this fact allows us to grant them more grace in such instances.

They throw tantrums or meltdowns when they get overstimulated

In today’s fast paced world, we tend to pack our, and even our kids’ schedules with tons of activities–from parties, extra classes, to play dates. And then we get stressed with their meltdowns, hyperactivity, and tantrums. Manage this by remembering to include quiet times and rest times in their schedules.

They act out when they feel unwell

Kids’ moods are also greatly affected by what their little bodies feel–so they can get fussy or cranky when they’re hungry, thirsty, or sick, much like adults getting hangry. Parents can manage this by maintaining consistent routines and being prepared, such as having snacks on hand, for any changes in the routine.

They scream, yell, or cry to fully express their big feelings

Unlike adults who can manage big emotions either via distraction or internalization, kids can’t do that just yet. Early-childhood educator Janet Lansbury suggests that parents “let feelings be,” and avoid reacting or punishing kids when they express powerful emotions.

Kids being magulo

Kids who run, jump, and dance around like there’s no tomorrow might not be a surprise once we realize the fact that they have a developmental need for lots of movement. Instead of stressing yourself out trying to make them stop, try to include “moving” activities in their routines.

They defy what you want them to do

It can be as small as wearing a superhero or princess costume for a regular day out in the mall, but the fact is, kids–even as young as toddlers or preschoolers, tend to have a mind of their own and will always try to do things for themselves. Even if it might ruin your plans or your well thought of coordinated outfits, know that your kids are just doing what they should be doing–developing independence and self-reliance, traits that would serve them well as they grow up.

They play, play, play all the time

Kids still have that sense of wonder and amazement in the world, leading them to be silly, goofy, and have an innate love for play. Very much so that they can try to do it as much as they can, all the time, even if we might want them to do something else. Experts say that it is also their way of telling their parents to play with them.

Instead of perceiving their desire to play as naughtiness or defiance, try to incorporate play into their day as much as possible. So kids won’t have to beg for it so much when you want them to do something else.

They are in a bad mood when we are

Research shows that babies, and it turns out, even kids, can pick up emotional cues from their parents. They emulate our feelings, which explains why they may be cranky when we’re already having a bad day. Check yourself first before getting frustrated with your child, as they could just be mirroring your emotions.

They get frustrated with previously set rules or limits

Before scolding your child for being frustrated when you tell him he can’t have candy before dinner, ask yourself first if you distractedly gave him one before dinner last week.

Just like adults, kids want and need to know what to expect, so being consistent with boundaries, limits, and routines is crucial.

Their bad behaviors are sometimes the reflection of their strengths

Kids, just like adults, can be tripped up by their own strengths. For example, motivated people can have a hard time when they make mistakes, or empathetic people can be weighed down by other people’s emotions. Parents should recognize these behaviors and respond with understanding instead of dismissing them as simply bad ones.