Kulit Knows No Gender: 'Gusto Ko Na Hamunin Ng Sabunutan Yung Anak Kong Babae'

It turns out kakulitan knows no gender. Just ask Charlene, a mom who started a conversation in the Smart Parenting Village about her daughter:

“May isasagad pa po kaya yung kakulitan ng mga five-year-old na bata? Minsan ay parang gusto ko na hamunin ng sabunutan yung anak kong babae eh. Ha, ha!"

She continues, “[Nang] mag-five years old, biglang gusto kong ibalik sa sinapupunan ko. Baka po may ikukulit pa [siya]? Paki-heads up po ako at paghahandaan ko na. Nanay niyo, pikon na.”

She goes on to share in the comments section: “Ang dahilan ko na nga lang sa nanay ko kapag naiinis na rin siya: ‘Para namang ’di mo po pinagdaanan sa amin yan, Ma!’

“Sasabihin ng nanay ko, ‘Hindi. Yung sa anak mo, sobra! Parang may teenager na bulol sa bahay na mahilig mangatwiran,’” she adds.

Newsflash: Girls can be makulit, too

Another mom responds, “Sinong nagsabi na ’di gaanong makulit ang baby girl?”

“Totoo! Iniisip ko, ‘Babae kaya [talaga ang anak ko]? Mukhang mali ako ng nailuwal.’” Charlene jokes.

One more mom has news for her: “Six years old ang anak ko, mamsh! Mas makulit, mas maligalig, mas mapang-asar. Minsan nga nasasabihan ko siya ng ‘sasabunutan’ [o] ‘kakalbuhin.’ I-ready mo na lang po [ang] sarili mo, mamsh. May ikukulit pa po ’yan!’”

“Ay same, momsh!” Charlene says. “Sabi ko [sa anak ko] sasabunutan ko na siya. Ang sagot: ‘O sige.’”

How to deal with sassy preschoolers

Matigas ba ang ulo? Experts say it’s normal in preschoolers. At this age, they’re challenging your authority by being defiant and stubborn.

They’re trying to assert themselves, according to Susanne Ayers Denham, a psychology professor at George Mason University in the U.S. Perhaps that explains the pamimilosopo. 

It also says something about your relationship with your preschooler. They feel you have too much control over them, says psychologist Dr. Laura Markham, author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. That’s why they’re pushing back and standing up to you.

How to deal?

1. First of all, don't yell.

Just relax. Pause for a moment. Leave the room when you’re about to explode. It also helps to laugh it off with your fellow parents in spaces such as the Smart Parenting Village.

2. Connect, don't scold.

After you’ve cooled down, have a speak with your preschooler. Try to understand why they’re not cooperating with you. Make them feel you’re on their side by reflecting what they’re feeling.

How about this? “Alam ko gustong-gusto mong panoorin yung Encanto kaya paulit-ulit nating pinapanood. Sino ang favorite mo sa magkakapatid?” There. At least you don’t have to listen to, “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” yet again.

3. Listen, don't just talk.

If there’s one thing the animated movie teaches us, it’s the power of listening to find out what’s beneath the surface. Listen to understand your preschooler’s feelings even when their behavior makes you want to pull their hair.

4. Allow them to make decisions.

Since they’d like to feel in control just like their parents, allow them to make decisions especially in matters that affect them. Simplify the process for them by limiting their options to two and giving them some time to think things over. For example, does your kid want braids or a ponytail?

You won’t always agree with your son or daughter, but you can choose to listen to them. Bringing them back inside your womb isn’t an option, right?

How makulit is your daughter, in a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most makulit? Share away in the comments section.