We’re always looking for ways to grow and be better parents. And it often means listening to fellow moms and dads about their experiences when it comes to raising a family. Here are 10 we collected in 2017 from celebrity parents:
1. Chynna Ortaleza: It’s okay to ask for help.
“You really need somebody who’ll be able to fix things for you while you’re busy fixing things for yourself,” the actress and TV host said in a December interview.
Chynna is vocal how she values the support she gets from her Yaya Len-Len when it comes to taking care of her 1-year-old daughter Stellar since she and husband Kean Cirpriano work. She adds she is lucky that she found “the yaya who genuinely wants to take care of your kid” and that “the kid likes your yaya.”
“We really involve them in everything that we do,” she said. “We show them what type of work that we do so that they now understand why sometimes we can’t go home early.”
2. Denise Laurel: Instill the value of education and hard work.
From a young age, the working single mom is already teaching her 6-year-old son Alejandro that he has to strive to succeed. She shared withSmartParenting.com.ph in September, “I always remind him that education is not for me, it’s for his future, especially since I’m a single mom.”
And for Denise, it's not about the grades. “I don’t want [Alejandro] to be pressured that he has to be an honor student. I’m not pressuring him to be the best, I’m giving him the decision to excel. It’s his choice.”
Perseverance is a trait you carry all the way to adulthood too. The mom shares, “I started in the industry as an extra, and because I really wanted it, I would [ride the] tricycle, jeep, or MRT (Metro Rail Transit) to where I need to be at 4 o'clock in the morning... Hard work makes you stronger and be more capable of whatever it is that you want to do. ”
3. Ruffa Gutierrez: Set rules, but be ready to listen as well.
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The solo mom to daughters Lorin, 14 years old, and Venice, 13, is a believer in rules, but she is open to compromise. This year, she had finally allowed her bunso a smart phone after having a mom-and-daughter discussion. “You have to listen din kasi. My style is not like, ako parati masusunod. It's also important to know what they're thinking.”
But it doesn't mean she's the type to bend the rules so easily. “Kelangan matakot din sila sa akin. So I love them, I take care of them, but when I know that they’re doing something wrong, they’re misbehaving, then I’m also there to discipline them.” She gets mad when there’s a reason to be,” she shared. “Yes, nagagalit ako. Just like the other day, they left the aircon on, they left the ilaw was on. My gosh, sabi ko, ‘Magtipid kayo sa kuryente.’” 4. Dennis Trillo: Be honest with your kids.
Actor Dennis Trillo believes that being honest with his son Calix, 10, is important especially because he and mom of Calix, his ex-girlfriend actress Carlene Aguilar, are separated. “Siguro kailangan maging transparent ka lang. Yun ang pinakaimportante. Kasi pag naging transparent ka, hindi na siya mag-iisip ng kaung ano-ano kasi alam na niya ang totoo, e.”
5. Bianca Gonzales: There's pressure to be a perfect parent, but there's no such thing.
In an interview with Smart Parenting last August, the TV host, model, and mom to 2-year-old Lucia shared that she also experiences “mommy guilt” and feels the “insane pressure” to be the perfect parent. “Feeling ko parang I’m bad if I leave [Lucia] just to have fun or because I want to go out to buy things for myself. I give it as advice to other moms who gave birth after me: Don't be so hard on yourself. But it’s also something I’m guilty of.”
Social media adds to the pressure, she said. “Whenever I see posts it’s always the happy, beautiful, smiling, ‘this is the best thing ever’ side of motherhood. Pero when I experienced it the first three months — di ka naliligo, di ka kumakain on time. There are days that you cry. Sasabayan mo nalang yung baby mo kasi ‘di mo na alam kung bakit siya umiiyak.”
Motherhood really is the toughest job a woman can have, Bianca said. But, at the same time, it’s also the most rewarding. 6. Jennica Garcia: Children will thrive even with a simple, no-frills lifestyle.
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“It is not normal for a child to sit for long periods of time,” said the actress and mom to 2-year-old Mori. Exploring their environment and being curious about the world around them is what children do, she wrote in a blog post. That’s why she isn’t afraid for Mori to get dirty or get scratches while playing. She also likes to take her little one on nature walks and picnics on the grass.
Mori, who doesn't get screen time yet, got gardening supplies for her birthday this year from dad Alwyn Uytingco. On Instagram, Jennica revealed, “Ang mga regalo ni Tatay Alwyn sa aming anak na si Mori: Two big bags of organic soil, plant box in different sizes and lots of herbs!” 7. Judy Ann Santos: Relax, it's going to be okay.
As a mom to three kids, Yohan, 12, Lucho, 7, and Luna, 1, actress Judy Ann told Smart Parenting in May that experience has made her a more confident and relaxed parent. “Mas confident ka na lang na pag may nadapa, okay lang, madami pa 'yan. Hindi ka na masyadong nagugulat kapag may insect bites... So relaxed lang yung parenting style. We laugh more about situations and we try build memories more with each child.”
With a full household, there's always something to learn as well, she shared. “We learn how to be more understanding and more positive in life. Mas palatawa na lang kami ngayon...Yun lang yung prayers ko every night, yung I'm very grateful and happy we live in a house that's full of laughter and love.”
8. Daphne Oseña-Paez: Don't use gadgets as a nanny.
Media personality Daphne Oseña-Paez is a hands-on mom and she likes to know what her kids are doing online, she said in an interview with Pep.ph last April. “Parents have to be aware where their kids go, what they do,” said Daphne. “My kids are not online on their own. I follow them, of course. I don't allow them to run around freely on the Internet.”
It's a no-no to let your phone or tablet become your child's yaya, and if your child does use it, make sure you have rules in place. For example, Daphne's household has a “no gadget day,” and a “low batt rule.” She explained, “I tell them, you can only charge your phone once a day. They need to budget their time and spend it wisely.” 9. Bettina Carlos: Learn how to handle your child’s tantrums
In a column for Manila Times, the TV host and mom to 6-year-old Gummy shared her parenting tactic whenever her little girl throws a tantrum. The discipline method that works for her is walking away. “She should learn that making a scene would never get her what she wants,” explained Bettina.
She added, “When she is calmer, ask her what she wants and give it right away. By doing so, she will learn that she only needs to ask properly to receive whatever it is that she wants.” Try it for yourself! You can also find more ways to handle toddler and preschooler tantrums here.
10. Ali Khatibi: You have to be strong.
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Recounting his journey when his daughter Amarah with actress Cristine Reyes was born premature, he told Pep.ph, “When you have a kid, you have to be strong for that person, e. Hindi ka puwedeng mag-break down or you doubt yourself."
Today, 2-year-old Amarah is very talkative and active, said the dad. “Yung biggest learning ko is that yung love mo for someone... Paglabas, grabe yung love mo sa tao na yun, and grabe yung care mo sa tao na yun. So that's something I've learned, na-discover sa sarili ko. Grabe pala, I'm so overprotective.”