A Loving Wife Is The Greatest Gift For Children, And Other Takeaways From This Book For Dads

Ask eager job seekers how their search is going and you'll be met with a serious gaze. Looking for a dream job, they've polished their resumes, sifted through listings many times, and sized up their abilities against the demands as they anticipate a new role. I've had this feeling many times, just like many of you.

In the case of newly-minted fathers, they've signed up for the most important job a man will ever have with little to no preparation, really. There are no job descriptions, no clear documents, and no manual on fatherhood. It's why many, like me, end up feeling weak and vulnerable.

That is until Gregory W. Slayton, a US senior diplomat, global philanthropist, best-selling author, and father of four great kids, penned his personal experiences and other real-life stories of struggle and triumph in his book Be a Better Dad Today! It's a handy guide, but beyond that it's a workbook for new and long-time dads that highlights easy-to-follow tools that have been proven by countless dads to be effective in every type of household.

After getting my copy, I took some of these tools to heart, and like Slayton himself, I'm sharing my takeaways that you can apply on your journey to becoming a better leader for your family.

5 Takeaways from 'Be A Better Dad Today!' book by Gregory W. Slayton

1. Family fun is the best time of all

Amid the stresses of work, many dads muster strength by asking themselves this rhetorical question: "What am I working hard for every single day?" The answer is a no-brainer, yet many fade and lose their energy in putting their families first, let alone spending fun time with them. I'll be the first to admit, it's so hard to keep up after a long day's work.

First among the tools in the book is Family First/Family Fun. Here, Slayton poses the question with a little more emphasis: Do you have fun with your family on a frequent, regular basis? The biggest takeaway that struck me is this: children best understand the meaning of love with another four-letter word: TIME.

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This doesn't entail costly gestures like flying off on a vacation overseas. In fact, it doesn't require lots of time. Creative ideas like going one-on-one in retro video games, playing pick-up basketball with your boys on the court, or baking cookies at home with your daughter can lead to enjoyable memories that will last a lifetime. Trust me on the last; the reaction of my little princess was priceless.

2. A loving wife is the greatest gift for children

The way moms are wired, by nature and nurture, is their love for their children is immeasurable. That's one of the greatest things about mothers, who are the biggest allies of fathers, as explained in All-in Marriage.

A harsh reality in some households is that some fathers expect their wives to be close to perfection, if not flawless. The truth is, no wife is perfect just as no man is. Hence, Slayton encourages getting rid of the feeling of disappointment and looking at things with what he calls the 50% Rule. In this part, he suggests that if your wife is 50% of what you've hoped for, you should count yourself already blessed.

Serious marriage problems will come along the way, yes, so couples should always take every opportunity to build up the marriage, and be stronger when winds and tides try to bring them down. For my wife and I, we sit down in the mornings to talk about our week while our daughter is at school. Somehow, we also get to check on each other while bonding over cups of coffee.

3. A high moral standard is the most important inheritance

In today's world, moral standards are considered too old-fashioned, too difficult, and too constraining. In short, it's uncool to talk about. But the truth is, it still matters in society now as it was before.

Slayton emphasizes this in the next part, True Moral Compass and True Humility. He lights a fire for people to think about it a little more with another insightful question: If everyone is constantly cheating or lying, what kind of society would we have if we can't rely on anyone else?

That's a grim reality if you ask me, but fathers who do their best to set a high moral standard at home will raise children to have a strong moral backbone. As they grow older and become part of the community, they will remember the lessons of right and wrong as good adults. For this part, I try my best to set an example and not totally restrict my daughter from making mistakes despite her age, as long as I'm present to explain what's right from wrong.

4. Family love develops around four core elements

Easy to say, yet extremely hard to do even for the most devoted fathers, loving the family every single day is an uphill challenge. It's as valuable as oil to a car's engine since without it, the car can't go anywhere.

That's why in Heartfelt Love, Slayton enumerates how to truly show and develop love with the help of these four elements: commitment, fidelity, grace, and tenderness. This approach gives light to the deeper meaning of love, which is a word often thrown around yet misused.

Quality time is directly connected to commitment. For me, I've promised at the start of the year to read more good books. This includes reading time of Tagalog and English books with my daughter before she goes to sleep.

Sad as it seems, local shows are rampant in mirroring marital infidelities. Somehow, more and more have found entertainment in them. This realization has made me realize the world is in dire need of men with character and integrity. I'm in no way close to how Slayton and admirable men like him, but each day I show grace and tenderness to my family, somehow I feel pushing closer to a better version of a father.

5. Fathers who stumble shouldn't give up

Some fathers are separated from their kids. Some are divorced. While others are widowers. These are some of the realities that only Slayton can touch on with an insightful approach, but what I can say is that the journey of fatherhood doesn't end there. Better yet, a more fulfilling journey awaits when you pick up and place this fantastic book closer to your hearts. 

Purchase the Be A Better Dad Today! by Gregory W. Slayton on Amazon here.