Kris Bernal's Post About Choosing To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom Made Me Feel Seen

Becoming a stay-at-home mom or SAHM is a challenging and personal choice. Unfortunately, in our modern society, SAHMs often face unjust discrimination and are undervalued. It seems that caring for a human being is not accorded the same level of importance as earning money or pursuing a career. That's why the moment I saw celebrity mom Kris Bernal's Instagram story, I was encouraged and impressed by how she shows vulnerability, her genuineness as a first-time mom, and how she raises awareness about the value of SAHMs. 

Kris was 7-months-postpartum when she wrote, "I couldn't help but to feel like a different person. I have always been very driven by my professional and business ambitions and for some reason I didn't care anymore and was ready to drop everything to become a stay-at-home mother.

I know that I will never be the same person again. But, I can be better, wiser, stronger and kinder.

Finally, she sent some love to all new moms like her who are still struggling in embracing themselves in their parenting era, "I see you. I am you."

Kris Bernal's post about choosing to be a SAHM made me feel seen

Many of us can relate to Kris' description of her former self as ambitious in her career. Most of us were also workaholics and corporate professionals but eventually chose to stay home with our kids. We came to recognize that being there to witness our children grow is more rewarding than pursuing our careers and ambitions in life. It's more than a privilege because we know that our children will not always be little, and they grow up so fast.

However, there are also moments when we may wonder about our old, ambitious selves and where we used to be when striving in our careers and earning like champions. These are the moments when we ask ourselves, "Where is she? Where is the old me?"

"We may feel like our life is stuck on repeat, and it's easy to forget about our personal goals when prioritizing our child's wellbeing. That's why it's understandable that we struggle to accept the new us." —Victoria Dang

We all go through phases when we feel like we have changed. However, the truth is that the old version of ourselves still exists within us, but it may be amplified by the new roles we've taken on. This transformation can be a powerful experience, bringing us happiness and strength but also confusion and despair. However, for some, it can cause grief as they mourn the loss of their old selves. We all cope with the changes in our lives differently, which is perfectly okay. You do YOU. 

Realizations as a first-time mom

As a first-time mother, Kris is dealing with various emotions and thoughts. She is experiencing the excitement of becoming a parent and the worries and anxieties that come with it. When she said that she was ready to drop everything to take care of her child, it showed how motherhood shifted her priorities and perspectives in life. 

Like her and us, it's natural to feel indifferent towards ourselves during this time; after all, we are adjusting to a new phase of life and discovering a new version of ourselves. Our body undergoes tremendous changes during pregnancy and childbirth, and feeling comfortable in our skin can be tough. That moment, when we looked at ourselves in the mirror, we saw a different version of ourselves.

"We are stay-at-home moms, and we are more than capable of doing many things for our children." —Victoria Dang

Hormonal shifts, weight changes, and postpartum recovery can leave us feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed. Additionally, we are adapting to a new lifestyle that revolves around our child's needs, which can mean significant changes in our routine and social life. We may feel like our life is stuck on repeat, and it's easy to forget about our personal goals when prioritizing our child's wellbeing. That's why it's understandable that we struggle to accept the new us. 

Embracing ourselves in our motherhood era

Becoming a mom is a universal experience, but the journey toward accepting motherhood is unique for each of us. We must recognize that we may struggle with this new role and that acknowledging these struggles is the first step toward healing and transformation. We should never feel bad about admitting we are struggling because our feelings are valid. Instead, we must face our challenges head-on and take action to address them.

We may do the following steps to embrace our motherhood role fully: 

1. Give yourself time.

Accepting motherhood is a gradual process that requires patience and allowing ourselves the time and space to grow into our role. It is essential to celebrate the progress we make along the way.

2. Set realistic expectations.

We adjust our expectations and be realistic about what it means to be a mom. It's okay if things don't always go as planned or if we don't feel like we have all the answers. We must give ourselves permission to learn and grow at our own pace.

3. Practice self-compassion.

We must be kind and gentle with ourselves. Motherhood is a challenging and demanding role, and it's expected to have moments of self-doubt. We must treat ourselves with the same compassion and understanding we would offer to a friend facing similar challenges.

4. Self-awareness is key.

We must reflect on our strengths and the positive aspects of motherhood that we enjoy and excel at. We must aim for self-awareness while dealing with the demands and challenges of motherhood. Through the journey, we will learn about our weaknesses and strengths and when to ask for help. 

Choosing motherhood vs. career is not a step back

Remember, when we wholeheartedly embraces our role as a mother, it can bring us significant personal development, contentment, and a stronger bond with our child and family. We have to acknowledge and commit ourselves to the duties and pleasures of raising and nurturing a child. We are SAHM, and we are more than capable of doing many things for our children.

Like what Kris shared, choosing motherhood over our career is not a step back, but a step in a new direction. 

As mothers, we may hear our friends say that we've changed. They may be right, but that's okay. Deep down, we know we are not the same person we were before. We may have lost some personal freedom and ambition but have gained so much more. We are stronger, more capable, and more driven. We are also more giving and nurturing, and we will always be the best versions of ourselves for our children, no matter what anyone says. Though we may sometimes feel lost and confused, we always find our way back and flourish because we are living for ourselves, our children, and our whole family.

Read the stories of moms who chose their kids over career, and are now successful in their careers here.