One Day at a Time: Life with a Child Who Has Cerebral Palsy

“Noong una, nagpre-prepare lang kami to raise our child.”

Like many young, first-time parents, Teddy and Dee Garcia remember feeling excited and hopeful as they awaited the arrival of their first child. But things took a different path. Before their son Elijah turned one, he was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, cerebral palsy is a neurological condition affecting muscle tone, posture, and movement caused by brain damage during fetal development or early infancy. In the Philippines, about 2 in every 1,000 live births are affected, with approximately 40,000 individuals living with the condition.

Seventeen years later, Teddy and Dee are still learning but also thriving.

“Isa siyang miracle baby,” Teddy and Dee told Smart Parenting. “Elijah stayed in the NICU for three months kasi nagkaroon ng complications at birth.”

They were warned of possible complications early on. “The infection got into his brain, so may epekto talaga yun sa kanya. So we were kind of expecting it, pero hindi namin alam that time how it would manifest, kung ano yung magiging condition niya.”

Signs appeared before Elijah turned one. “We noticed meron siyang uncoordinated arm movements. Then, hindi siya nag-dedevelop as we had hoped,” they said. “Hindi siya nag-reach for his toys. He cannot support himself while sitting. Hindi niya na-reach ibang milestones in his first year. So that’s when we decided to have him checked.”

Teddy and Dee didn’t linger in despair. “When we learned that he had cerebral palsy, parang andun na kami agad sa acceptance stage,” Dee said. “There was no point in feeling remorseful or resentful kasi we felt we have to learn na agad to live with it. There’s no cure for cerebral palsy. You just have to live with it and learn how to improve yung life ng anak mo.”

They shifted their focus: “Kailangan namin isipin ano yung mga kayang gawin at ma-experience ni Elijah.”

The Garcias found their silver lining to the pandemic. Pre-COVID, Elijah stayed with Dee’s sister and a caregiver while Teddy and Dee worked. Working from home allowed them more time with him. “Working from home, yun yung talagang nag-spend kami ng time with him kasi nasa bahay kami lahat. Nag-iba routine namin,” Teddy said.

Elijah goes to a specialized therapy center in Ortigas. Dee accompanies Elijah to a Bobath therapy center weekly. The Bobath approach, also known as neurodevelopmental treatment (NDT), is a rehabilitation method used to improve movement and motor control in individuals with neurological conditions like stroke, cerebral palsy, and brain injury. The approach focuses on facilitating normal movement and minimizing abnormal movements to enhance function and participation in daily activities.

Elijah’s extended family plays a huge role. “Swerte namin sa family. It takes a village to raise a child, and we’re so blessed to have a very big village and support system,” Dee said.

Their extended family is familiar and sensitive to Elijah’s needs, “Priority si Elijah, kaya mas madali din sa amin kapag kasama sila.” Even Elijah’s younger cousins are sensitive to his needs, “Elijah is sensitive sa sounds, hindi niya kaya yung sobrang maingay, iiyak talaga siya. Alam na yun ng mga cousins niya, so if malapit sila to him, they modulate their voices and even their activities or games.”

“Sa mga bata sa family, na-explain na sa kanila yung condition ni Kuya Elijah,” Dee explained. “Why he can’t walk, why he can’t speak properly, why he’s so sensitive to noise and sound. Mas nagiging sensitive din sa ibang kids, and they can apply what they learned about him and his condition to other kids. Sometimes, they try to include Elijah when they play.”

Going out or traveling might be normal for other families,but for Teddy and Dee, it requires meticulous planning. “Syempre bahay talaga yung comfort zone namin and ni Elijah. So big challenge for us every time we go out,” Teddy said.

“Elijah is very sensitive to sounds, or noise,” he explained. “Any sudden noise or kapag masyadong malakas, he doesn’t like it. Kapag madami siyang naririnig, sabay-sabay na nagsasalita, or even loud voices. Madali siyang magulat. He feels unsafe. He like music, pero kapag very loud na, nararamdaman niya 'yun.”

“So isa 'yun sa mga factors na we have to consider kapag kasama siya. Kasi at home, it’s a controlled environment. Pero sa labas, hindi mo na alam anong ma-eexperience mo. Maraming factors na pwedeng ma-encounter,” Teddy said. 

“Bago kami lumabas ng bahay, before namin puntahan, we check kung saan kami pupunta just to make sure na meron kaming Plan B or escape plan in case ma-overwhelm or ma-overstimulate siya. Syempre, kahit na gusto namin na ma-experience niya 'yun, gusto din namin na comfortable siya doing it,” Teddy added. “We want it to be a good experience for him.”

“We try to look for places na he’ll enjoy, where he can experience normal things, like maglaro sa park. That’s challenging, kasi there aren’t many options dito sa atin,” Dee added. “Ang wish ko is, while there are a lot of play areas for normal kids, magkaroon din ng play areas that cater to kids with special needs—those that can cater to their different conditions and needs.”

“We’re grateful din na our family and friends really understand him and his needs. Tinatanong din kasi namin talaga before kami pumunta, and sometimes sila na mismo magsasabi na parang mukhang hindi nga kaya ni Elijah sa place,” Teddy and Dee shared. “And we’re moved when they say, ‘Okay, meron room dun sa venue, pwede si Elijah doon, malayo sa sound.’ Yung when they accommodate Elijah.”

“Yun yung wish ko for every parent, mas mapapadali if someone will help you,” Dee emphasized.

Elijah’s first words were magical for Teddy and Dee, “He said his first word when he was around four or five years old. For four years, ang communication lang namin was kami yung magsasalita. Then tinuruan namin siya na ‘If you want to say okay, if you want to say yes, give mommy a kiss.’”

“Now, he can say yes, he can say no, he can say what he likes. Pero even now kapag na-excite siya, ang una din niyang gagawin is mag-kiss, kasi yun yung una niyang natutunan,” Dee explains.

Finding ways to communicate is a testament to the family’s grit in coping with Elijah’s condition. “With this condition, kailangan mong maging resourceful. You have to find unique ways to do things with him, like communicating,” Teddy said.

These days, the couple shared that Elijah was able to learn counting in English, Spanish, and Nihongo. “Parang kaya pala na parang hindi man siya nag-aaral, pero merong mga na-re-retain na information sa kanya. Yun yung pinaka-progress nya,” Dee shared.

When asked how they were able to accomplish it, they explained, “We try to incorporate it sa daily life. Kung pupunta kami ng therapy, naririnig niya yung Waze sa car, turning left. Doon siya natututo. So we taught him the concept of directions din.”

“Until now, kinikilig ako kapag tinatawag niya akong Papi,” Teddy said. “Eh may cousins siya, so naririnig niya na Tito Papi, kaya tawag niya sa akin, Tito Papi.”

“Ang tawag niya sa akin, babe,” Dee shared. “Kasi tawag niya [Teddy] sa akin, babe, so ginagaya ni Elijah.”

Teddy and Dee celebrate Elijah every chance, especially on his birthdays. They acknowledge that Elijah will not enjoy the ruckus of typical birthday parties, but they have their tradition of setting up something special at home for his birthday. “Pag-gising niya, may something na na-prepare kami for him. From Elmo to Mickey Mouse, Batman, Star Wars. The last two medyo matagal niya nagustuhan,” the couple said.

Like all parents, they worry about Elijah’s future. “We don’t have the resources for long-term care like in other countries. Gusto ko ako mag-aalaga. Pero paano pag matanda na kami?” Dee said.

Teddy's mindset is simple: “I try to stay positive. Every day is another day. One day at a time.”

“We were so full of worry about his future, about our future. Pero when we learned to live one day at a time, mas na-enjoy namin yung time namin with him.”

Ultimately, raising Elijah isn’t about comparing to anyone else’s path. It’s about choosing love, building routine, embracing help, and celebrating every single win—no matter how small.

That’s not just surviving. That’s raising a life.