Melai Cantiveros' Daughter Calling Her Mom 'Mukhang Unggoy' Made Me Reflect About My Own Parenting

Smart Parenting's PerSPective is our editorial team's take on the parenting and family issues today's Filipino families are facing. Through these opinion pieces, we as the country's leading parenting media brand hope to spark conversations and help fellow parents achieve our shared goal: to raise happy, healthy families.

A quick search on Google using the keywords "Melai Cantiveros daughter" would lead you to news articles about a video, mom and TV host Melai Cantiveros herself shared on her Instagram stories. In the said video, her 9-year-old daughter Mela playfully said to the camera that her mom looks like a monkey, despite her efforts to use and promote beauty products.

In verbatim, she said, "Guys, nagre-refer si Mama ng mga products, beauty products, pero mukha pa rin siyang unggoy." In the same video, Melai reacted, saying, "Napakabastos."

However, it didn't sit well with netizens, who expressed negative comments about Melai's daughter, saying that such behavior should not be tolerated, but rather, it should be corrected as early as now.

In a recent post, Melai shared a video where she cleared the air and defended her daughter against those who were bashing her.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Melai Cantiveros - Francisco (@mrandmrsfrancisco)

If you're like me and still don't get her daughter's "I love chicken nuggets" meme and haven't watched any of their vlogs, of course, you'd instantly lean towards Melai's side and suggest that she should do something about her parenting style.

However, if you've been watching their family vlogs for a long time, you'd understand that this is just one of their funny content pieces that doesn't necessarily have to be taken seriously.

Nonetheless, there are also reaction videos and negative comments from netizens attacking and targeting Melai's daughter, whose life lies ahead of her.

Melai called them out, and isn't it the right thing to do for a parent who is meant to protect their child from the harshness of the world?

Why should a mother let the world crucify her child for the sake of validation that they are correct and the child is wrong?

READ ALSO: 'Wag Ang Anak Ko': Melai Claps Back At Netizen Who Called Her Daughter 'Pangit'

What we can learn from the Melai Cantiveros daughter "mukhang unggoy" issue

After days of letting this issue sink in for me as a new parent whose child already has a significant digital footprint, here's what I've learned.

1. Again, we don't have a say in Melai's parenting.

Melai clarified in a recent video that Mela didn't really mean to hurt her mom's feelings by saying that she looks like a monkey. "Hindi mama, I love you naman. Prank lang yun, joke joke lang yun," the child explained.

Melai didn't have to, but she defended her daughter again, saying, "Ayan, joke lang kasi yun guys. Sa mga hindi nakakaintindi, papaintindi ko sa inyo ha. Ganun talaga yung happiness namin, yung kulitan naming family."

Mela understood and added, "We are the kulit family."

To me, it seems like Mela is growing up in an atmosphere where she feels comfortable expressing herself without fear of judgment. Isn't that what we are all aiming for? When a child feels safe saying anything in their family, it means she is also open to listening to her parents' correction when necessary.

2. There is no perfect parent.

If there's room for improvement here, it's understanding the boundaries of what we should post online. For Melai to upload such content that she thought was funny but others find damaging, is her business as the uploader. Now, she has already explained her side, and while she cannot please everyone, there is no point in criticizing them again or giving them unsolicited parenting advice that we cannot even apply to our own children.

What we can learn here is to be mindful of the content we are putting out on social media and our intention in doing so. If your goal is to become trending at the expense of your child receiving backlash, then you should be held accountable for it.

3. Teach our kids how to process and respond to criticism.

As celebrities, Melai and her family are accustomed to receiving online bashing and criticism. Whatever actions they take, people will always have something to say about it.

However, her example of clearing the air and explaining to her kids what happened teaches us that kids are still learning, and our role as parents is not to shield them from the world but to prepare them for the bigger challenges to come.

4. We can and we have to protect our child's digital footprint.

If you are a parent, know that you are not required to post about your child online. This is one way to protect their digital footprint. As caretakers of digital natives, understand that parenting goes beyond the confines of our home. Let this incident be a reminder that parents should always be at the forefront of protecting our children from harm. Think twice and consider your purpose before sharing any content about your child on social media. A good practice is also seeking a child's consent before sharing their photos or videos publicly.

READ ALSO: Everything You Need To Know To Make Sure Your Kids Are Safe On Social Media

5. Let's lead by example.

Parents are leaders, but more often than not, we don't know everything. Parenting in the age of social media comes with unique challenges, and instead of ganging up on each other, we can learn how to navigate this journey together.

How Mela was able to word her thoughts could be something that she learned at home, in school, or in the community she lives in. It could be from the shows she watched on TV or the content she sees online. Ultimately, this goes back to us, adults, who are creating the content that the succeeding generations consume. Let's be more careful with the content we create and more mindful of the opinions we publish.

If Mela were to see the comments thrown at her by "concerned netizens" on social media, what do you think she would feel? Would it help her or hurt her? Would you be proud of the comment you left on Melai's post if Mela sees it after 5 years? How about your child? 

Whether You Like It Or Not, Your Child Is A Digital Citizen. Here's How To Raise Them To Be Responsible

6. Stop bullying kids online.

I came across a comment from a netizen that said, "Bad talaga 'yang panganay eh." As adults, if we engage in online bullying towards children like Mela, how can we ensure that our own children won't experience the same?

Let's always strive to be the bigger person who helps children like her heal. Amplify the good by being good digital citizens ourselves and being among those who teach our children how to navigate the complexities of the digital world with confidence and responsibility. 

The world is already harsh, as a psychologist said. Let these teachable moments guide us in improving our own parenting, because going back to #1, we don't have a say in how other parents raise their children.

It's already hard raising our own.

Judy Santiago Aladin is the section editor of Smart Parenting. She is a mom to a four-year-old girl who believes she is a dragon.