Miriam Quiambao Shares Pros, Cons Of Becoming A Mom In Her 40s

Smart Parenting editor-at-large Rica Peralejo Bonifacio sat down with actress, beauty queen, and mom of three Miriam Quiambao-Roberto in Boracay to talk about motherhood in their 40s. 

Miriam and her husband Ardy Roberto had their first taste of parenthood when they raised Joshua, whom Ardy and his late wife adopted. Miriam got pregnant for the first time when she was 43, and gave birth to Elijah via Caesarean section on February 16, 2019.

After two years, and amid the COVID-19 pandemic, Miriam got pregnant again. She gave birth to Ezekiel on July 12, 2021, making her a new mom again at 46. 

Now at 49, Miriam says she has no regrets entering parenthood late, "I probably would have had more energy when I had children at a much younger age compared to now. But still, I'm blessed because I have two miracle pregnancies, 'di ba? And having children is always a joy." 

Miriam Quiambao shares the pros and cons of late parenthood

1. You have to stay strong and live long for your young kids.

"'Pag binubuhat ko yung anak ko, 'Ay, parang workout na 'to.' Siguro kailangan kong mag-workout din talaga para malakas ako to carry them!" Miriam shares.

She reveals, they would also compute their age for when their kids achieve milestones like graduating from college and getting married, "By the time our kids are adults, or probably by the time they graduate from college, if Ziki is two years old and he graduates, let's say, 18 years pa from now, 49 na ako, plus 20, 69 na ako by the time he graduates. Kasi hindi ko alam kung late ko siya mag-aasawa. Maaabutan ko pa ba yung mga apo ko?"

"How long must I live so I get to see this and that? So I think that's a reality of moms conceiving in their 40s versus the younger years in your life," Miriam said.

2. You are financially stable when you enter parenthood late.

For Miriam, who is into various businesses that let her earn passive income, one of the advantages of having kids late is reaping the fruits of their investments. 
"Back in my 20s, trabaho-trabaho, parang hindi ko makita yung family ko. And if I had children then, I wouldn't have the time to invest in them as much as I do now. And now that I'm in my 40s, I've invested, I have passive income. So now, we have all the time we want to spend with our kids," Miriam shares. 

"Seasons come and go, but the season of your children is only short and will never come again. So, you need to know your priorities." —Miriam Quiambao-Roberto

Being financially stable enables her to afford a life being present with her kids, which she believes is very important. 

"It's really all based on my faith, my Christianity. And I know that family is my first ministry. And no one in his life ever said on his deathbed that, 'I wish I spent more time at work than with my family,'" Miriam added. 

3. When you have more time with your kids, you can influence them more.

Miriam has been homeschooling her kids, and it's one way for her to influence their hearts and minds. "We only have such a short window of time that we can influence our kids. And the time na gusto nila tayo makasama, diba?"

She continued, "If you want to establish a godly legacy, go. It's really important to have that window of time. And if I were younger and busy with work, I wouldn't have that privilege to mold them in the way that I want them."

"Although, I don't want to judge those families or those mothers who decide to work full-time alongside with raising their kids. I know they have their own way.
But for me, I think this is what's important to me," she expressed.

Miriam recounted a time when she was 4 years old, and her mom had a corporate lifestyle and got too preoccupied with her work. "She was driving and I was running after her because at four years old, of course, I wanted my mom.
She turned the corner and I stopped. I wanted her, but she didn't even stop to look at me. Tapos gusto kong maiyak, pero natakot ako kasi maraming mga kapitbahay na nakatingin."

"Pray for God to give you wisdom on how you can exercise your skills, your gift to your family so that you can do that work and also balance that with having time with family." —Miriam Quiambao-Roberto

Growing up, she revealed, she wasn't close to her mom. She was only able to build a relationship with her five years before she passed away, and she considers it as a gift. "But my mom wasn't a bad parent. It's just that she was a busy parent," she stressed.

Miriam Quiambao shares her wisdom about 'seasons of life'

Miriam has this to share with parents regardless of where they are in their parenting journey: "Seasons come and go, but the season of your children is only short and will never come again. So, you need to know your priorities."

Meanwhile, if you need to contribute to your family's income that would make you unable to do this, pray for wisdom, she advises. 

"Pray for God to give you wisdom on how you can exercise your skills, your gift to your family so that you can do that work and also balance that with having time with family.

"Because He will be the one to download to you how to do your business plan, how to manage doing that with your kids. He will be the one to send you people who will help you build your village," she added.

Miriam Quiambao's message on how to be effective parents: 'Tap into the source'

Miriam believes there's no such thing as perfect parents, but through faith, parents can become the best parents to their children.

"As parents, we are so limited in our capacity to love. But only God has that unchanging, never-ending, all-encompassing kind of love that all parents need. So, we need to tap into that source in order to be effective parents."

"When you do what you can with the love of God, then you can be the best parent for your children," Miriam concludes.

Watch the full interview with Miriam Quiambao on Smart Parenting's PopRica here: