Why Moms Are Influencing Their Kids To Love Taylor Swift Too

When Taylor Swift: Eras Tour The Film came out last year, I asked my then 10-year-old daughter if she wanted to watch it with me. Neither of us would probably pass the “Just how much of a Swiftie are you?” test, but as I reasoned with her dad: I'm jumping at any excuse to strengthen my bond with each of my three children and all that it entails. The price tag on this was movie tickets, merch, a Sunday afternoon, and snacks.

I took her to watch the film on the big screen along with a group of mom and daughter Swiftie friends, most of them hardcore fans who knew every song, every album, and every story behind her hit. We, on the other hand, could only manage to sing some lines to ‘Cruel Summer’ and fumble the chorus of ‘Karma’.

But it wasn’t quite a perfect mom-and-daughter bonding moment as I had expected. When I excitedly invited her, my daughter declined. And she cried when she explained her tangled-up pre-teen feelings to me. She felt she didn’t deserve to watch the movie because she didn’t identify as a Swiftie.

Swiftie moms passing on their love for Taylor Swift 

For other moms, turning their child into a Swiftie was inevitable. They had played Taylor Swift’s songs at home as young moms and discovered later that their child had picked up all the songs. Such was the case for Cath Corpuz, 32 years old, and Charizz Rufo, 30 years old.

Cath said, “Back when Allie was just a little girl, Taylor's songs were the soundtrack of our lives at home. I didn't realize she absorbed the lyrics till she started singing along effortlessly.” Allie is now nine years old, and she and her mom have just arrived from watching Swift perform in Tokyo.

Charizz observed the same when her daughter Rylie, now 6 years old, listens to Taylor Swift’s song as part of her daily routine. She likely picked it up when her family would play Swift’s songs during long drives home to their province, Batangas.

“Music is our bonding, it is our catch-up time whenever I become busy at work and she's busy at school,” Charizz said.

For Danica, a 29-year-old customer happiness representative mom of one, she began to listen to Taylor Swift as a college student. Her daughter, six-year-old Tala, heard ‘Cruel Summer’ during a playdate. She then asked her mom to search for it and wouldn’t stop listening to it. Danica introduced Tala to her favorites, ‘Enchanted’ and the album RED. “It was released when I was in second year college and my barkada would sing the songs over and over again.”

'You think you already know your child but when you like the same songs, everything is just better.' —Danica Patelo, mom of one

Now Danica and Tala also bond through their shared love for Taylor Swift. “You think you already know your child but when you like the same songs, everything is just better,” she said. “We do our chores together or stay in the same room doing our own thing while listening to a playlist, then we stop what we’re doing to sing the chorus together and laugh. I think it made us bond more together.”

CNBC’s article ‘Swiftie’ moms are passing down their passion — and parasocial relationship with Taylor Swift — to their kids saw similar experiences from American moms, one of them playing Taylor Swift songs to her baby in utero.

Becoming a Swiftie because of my daughter

Other moms were admittedly the second Swiftie of their household. Their children were the first to become fans and because they wanted to grow their bond with their child, they listened to Swift’s songs.

Homeschool mom and entrepreneur Pia Maria Cruz would listen to her daughter, back when she was just six years old, talk about Swift and the easter eggs she leaves her fans. She was also her daughter’s inspiration for learning to play the ukulele, guitar, and piano. Now, her daughter Pia Ysobel is 22 years old and the mother and daughter duo will be catching the Singapore leg of The Eras Tour.

“I love how this has been a common ground for us. I recognize how music can be a big part of our growing-up years, and how it can evoke core memories in our adult years. My husband and I are vinyl collectors and if you look at our collection you will see the soundtrack of our youth! So knowing that this also applies to my children, I try to listen to the songs that they play over and over again,” Pia said.

'Witnessing how passionate my daughter is about Taylor Swift and music, in general, is a meaningful experience as a mother because it gives me a glimpse of what sets my child’s heart on fire.' —Camille Zaldarriaga, mom of two

“If I were being honest, some artists they like just don’t resonate with me, but Taylor’s songs are just so good! My daughter is a senior at university and lives in a dorm away from us, but at random moments she would gleefully share music videos, little bits about Taylor’s life, and how these are inserted into the songs, news, etc. When she does these random Swiftie things with me, I feel connected to her in a way that is more akin to a friendship than a mother-daughter relationship.”

With Swift’s popularity exponentially increasing in recent years, so have critics and naysayers who look at her influence on young girls negatively. “Some of her performances are a tad risqué. But I’m not worried about my daughter being influenced because she understands it’s all part of performing and not necessarily the standard of behaving/presenting oneself,” said Camille Zaldarriaga, a 39-year-old writer. Her 13-year-old daughter Lali introduced her to Swift’s music.

“Sharing something with your child will always deepen your relationship in some way—whether a shared interest in hobby, sport, or music. Witnessing how passionate my daughter is about Taylor Swift and music, in general, is a meaningful experience as a mother because it gives me a glimpse of what sets my child’s heart on fire.”

Ruby Musngi, a 36-year-old entrepreneur, also has a 13-year-old daughter, Rylee Mackenzie, whom she hopes to have open communication with especially with crushes and relationships. Sharing in her daughter’s interest is how she tries to build that trust. “I want her to feel that her secrets are safe with me and that I will hear and understand her no matter what, that she can tell me anything under the sun and I won’t judge her.”

Bonding with your child through shared interest

Pia Maria Cruz advises parents, “Be intentional. Learn to honor your children, something we must learn in our Filipino family culture. Unfortunately, much of our parent-child relationships suffer when we wield our ‘parent stick’ and miss the hearts of our children. Recognize that our need, as parents, to be “right” more often than not makes us lose the hearts of our children.

She adds, “Is it worth it? If your relationship with your child is strained and difficult, pursue personal inner healing. We cannot give what we don’t have in our hearts. Find joy in the uniqueness of your children, and be aware that things you find trivial (like their songs or book choices) might be indicative of their mental state. Be a healed parent who can be a safe friend to your kids as well.”

While my daughter teared up because she felt pressure to accept my invitation right away since a group was waiting for our reply, I explained to her that fans were not the only people who deserved to enjoy anything. Whether she knew all the songs or just “Romeo and Juliet”, as my four-year-old son likes to call it, I invited her to share the experience with me for us, not for Taylor Swift. I wanted to have a mother-and-daughter date and to make memories while she was growing up, knowing she will look back on this one day. We can just bungle the lyrics together.

Today, as I listened to the playlist of The Eras Tour during a writing break, she asked the title of a song she had just discovered.

“Willow,” I answered. She walked back to her room humming the tune. How many parents receive the gift of discovering music alongside their children? It’s one I treasure and thank Ms. Swift for giving me and the one I was most enchanted to meet.

Ronna Capili Bonifacio is the editor-in-chief of Smart Parenting and mom of three kids. She also wrote about why she is not teaching her kids the concept of 'utang na loob' here.