In March 2017, Nikka Garcia miscarried and lost what could have been her and her husband Patrick Garcia’s third child. SmartParenting.com.ph ran a story on the sad news and shared it on its Facebook page. One reader made a nasty comment, and Nikka reacted on the post, telling her basher: “I wish you never go through what we went through.”
Seven months later Nikka, had a baby shower in anticipation of the arrival of her forthcoming child, which would have been her and Patrick’s fourth baby. But she has never forgotten the incident. “Oo, ’yong deserved kong makunan, ganyan,” she told Smart Parenting in an interview at the baby shower organized by the stroller brand Aprica.
“So, mali po ’yon,” she pointed out. “Don’t wish that on anybody. That is so inhumane. Ang sakit mawalan ng anak. At kahit three months pa lang ’yon sa tiyan mo, kahit dugo pa lang ’yan, di ba, that’s a potential baby. Nobody deserves to feel that heartbreak. So I just felt the need to comment, na parang ’wag gano’n. Dahil kahit gaano ka kasamang tao, I’ll never wish that on you. Kahit gaano ka kasama sa akin, I’ll never wish that on you… Marami akong kilala na ano nagta-try hanggang ngayon [magka-baby]. Nahihirapan.”
There’s a tinge of sadness in Nikka’s voice as she recalled the time she had a miscarriage. “Two days before I was going to announce, sobrang excited ko na. Di ba pag gano’n, magpe-prepare ka na pa’no mo ia-announce. Ano ang creative way nang pag-announce? ’Tapos nawala po ’yong baby namin. It happened in my house, sa house namin.”
“I guess God just had another plan,” she said, smiling now. “Siguro po no’ng nalaman ko ’yon, hindi na po ako nagtanong. Hinayaan na lang po, and we just told ourselves that it wasn’t meant to be na lang para hindi na lang maghanap ng rason. Hindi na kailangang mag-isip kung sino ang sisisihin. Not meant to be lang ’yong inisip namin.”
Nikka also turned to her actor-husband for support in dealing with that chapter in their married life that she described as “mahirap, masakit s’ya.” Patrick, in a separate interview, also at the baby shower, echoed his wife’s sentiments. “When it happened, siyempre masakit,” he said, adding that they dealt the situation with constant prayer. “Slowly, of course, we understood. It is what is it. You just have to forget the past.”
The couple never found out the gender of their stillborn child, but they both felt their two daughters, Michelle Celeste, 4 years old, and Nicola Patrice, 1 year and nine months old, would have had a baby brother. Nikka said she talked to Michelle about what happened, and her panganay slowly understood the situation. “Kasi kasama s’ya no’ng binury namin ’yong baby sa cemetery,” she said.
The young family’s mourning period didn’t last long because just a month after having a miscarriage, Nikka conceived again. “Biglang binigay ni Lord,” she said, laughing. “Pero hindi namin ini-expect. Pero no’ng sumarap ang pagkain, medyo sabi ko, ‘Naku, alam ko ’to!’ ’Yong period mo, di mo pa ano kasi kami-miscarriage mo pa lang. Na-ano ko lang, parang iba ang feeling ko. True enough, sa pregnancy test na-confirm.”
She immediately broke the news to Patrick, telling her husband, “Buntis na naman tayo!” On her third month of pregnancy, Nikka admitted to feeling paranoid since the last time she reached that stage, she had a miscarriage. That’s why she felt the need to be extra careful. But as her second trimester was winding down, she started feeling better. Her optimism once again helped her overcome the odds. “I always reminded myself na pag gusto naman ni Lord, kahit tumalon-talon ka pa, di ba? Kahit ano’ng gawin mo, nand’yan ’yan. So I didn’t allow fear to say so much. Kasi, di ba, maaapektuhan din ang bata kung lagi kang takot, lagi kang nahe-hesitate. Or stressed ka.”
Nikka admitted that she and Patrick had hoped to have a son. On her fourth month, she took out her daughters’ baby stuff from their closets and planned on giving those items away. However, she soon found out that she was going to have another daughter, and she decided to keep the baby stuff.
The full-time mom and blogger on the side confessed she was a practical mom and didn't like “gastos nang gastos.” She doesn’t mind her kids wearing hand-me-downs, especially those given by her sister-in-law Cheska Garcia-Kramer. Cheska and her husband Doug Kramer have two daughters, Kendra, 8, and Scarlett, who turns 7 in December, and one son, Gavin, 4.
“Masarap bihisan ang girl, but still I’d like to have a boy someday,” Nikka said, grinning. She added that her panganay, Michelle, had wished for a baby brother. “Our plan is really four,” Patrick said. “So whether they’re all boys or all girls, or mixture—four. We’ll stop there.”
Patrick, who told us they all sleep in one bedroom and he’s in charge of giving Michelle her milk and accompanying her to the bathroom, sees no major difficulties in rearing two girls. “I let them do what they want naman. Hindi naman ako gano’n ka over protective,” he pointed out. “Pero maraming drama sa bahay. Ang daming gamit—from ribbons to stockings, clothes, shoes. Dapat iba-iba, hindi puwedeng ulitin. Masaya, masaya. Visually, ano, masarap paglaruan.”
Nikka agreed with her husband. She also didn't want to be overprotective of their daughters just because they are girls. She gestured to Michelle and Patrice, who were both dressed in ballerina tutu, but Patrice, the younger one, wasn’t wearing her shoes. “Tignan mo naman ’yan,” Nikka said of Patrice, giggling. “Nakapaa s’ya.”
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
Her daughters have become aware of her delicate condition. “I think no’ng naramdaman nila ’yong galaw sa tiyan ko, nakikita nila, and we always tell them na ‘Mama can’t carry you.’ Kasi minsan nagpapakarga pa din. We explain to them na di na puwede because there’s a baby. ’Ta’s ngayon, gumagalaw na, nafi-feel na nila na gumagalaw. Mas naiintidihan nila.”
Nikka remembered that Michelle got jealous when Patrice came along. But she and Patrick just kept reminding Michelle about having a baby sister is like having a best friend, and the couple intend to use the same tactic to Patrice when Baby Girl No. 3 arrives in early December. Thankfully, Michelle has embraced her role as the big sister and Patrice is starting to like the sound of Ate. “Super ate na s’ya,” Nikka said of Michelle. “Wala akong masabi. Napakagaling na ate. Minsan, pag may tantrum si Patrice, si Michelle pa ’yong magpapakalma sa kanya. ‘Patrice, Ate is here.’ Ganyan, ganyan pa s’ya.”
Unlike with Michelle and Patrice, who had ready names even before they were born, the couple’s third daughter doesn’t have a name yet. “Nag-expect kasi ako ng boy,” Nikka said, chuckling. “Michelle Celeste—a combination of the names of Pat’s mom and my mom. Nicola Patrice is a combination of my name and Pat’s names. So, sa pangatlo, abangan!”