Date Nights, Inuman, And Other Things Parents Miss Before Kids

We have always said it again and again, having kids and parenthood is a life-changing event. It can change us to our core, leaving us at times feeling lost and wondering, “Ako ba talaga yon?” and “Nagawa ko ba talaga yon?’

Parents at the 100,000 strong parenting group, Smart Parenting Village, reminisce about their carefree pastimes before kids came into their lives, and even how it evolved to include the entire family. Through funny and heartfelt insights, these parents share how their lives have shifted when they welcomed their kids, and how, despite everything, they still find joy in their new ‘hood called parenthood.

Pre-kid pastimes parents miss most:

Spending without a second thought

Spending and shopping sprees before kids could almost feel effortless–with no big purchases such as formula milk, vaccines, or tuition to consider. Whether it was a dinner date or a spontaneous budols, just swipe it. But once you become a parent, budgeting is the way of life, even until you go to sleep.

Mom of two, Han Ballega captures this transformation perfectly when she says, “Gumasta nang hindi tumitingin sa presyo basta mabili ang gusto.” For many parents, doing this could be hard to imagine considering the rising costs of goods and raising children these days.

Jane dela Cruz, a mom of one, echoes this sentiment, saying that financial constraints have made bonding moments, like dining out, a rare treat. “Actually, pera lang ang issue kaya halos bihira na magawa yung bonding namin, like kumain sa labas ng favorite namin na Pansit Cabagan.”

With parenthood, what used to be carefree and considerably small indulgences have turned into occasional luxuries, as resources are now more often allocated to practical expenses like groceries, tuition, and health care.

Movie dates: From romantic dates to days out watching animated family flicks

There was a time when movie dates were a favorite date night option for couples. When kids came into the picture, this turned into an all-day pasyal with the whole family.

Mothers Vic Sy and Belle Rondilla both list movie dates as something they sorely miss. While another mother, Ruena Galigao, paints a hilarious picture of how movie nights used to be fore her: “Kapag off sa work, for the move lalo na kapag may magandang palabas. Naka-holding hands pa while watching. Ngayon, hintay nalang kapag may malinaw nang copy. I-schedule at pipilitin mo pa manood. Sad life.”

Aside from impacting theater dates, kids have changed home movie dates too. As another mom, CB Ocampo, humorously points out, leisurely enjoying snacks while watching movie at home without any interruptions is a thing of the past for parents, “Mag-Netflix with McDonald’s and San Miguel Beer. Ngayon, hindi pa nagsisimula movie, may kumukurot na sa snacks namin.”

Food trip: From feasts and mukbang to frantic meal times

Parents in the community also fondly pay tribute to days of peaceful and leisurely meals, since these days, every bite comes with a sense of urgency.

Mother to two small kids, Anna Rose Borbe, simply said that she misses “Kumain peacefully.”

While Maica Rebecca, another mom of two, gives a relatable and funny account of how food trips have changed for her. “Mag-mukbang food trip. Ngayon kasi kahit balat ng Chickenjoy hindi mo matikman or ma-enjoy kasi lahat ng manok eh huhubaran ng anak mo, ipaubaya na sa kanila.”

New mom Princess Sanglay misses the days when meals (among other things) were not rushed, “Kumain ng sabay nang hindi nagmamadali. Bebe time nang hindi nagmamadali.”

Truly, certain activities such as meal times and lounging around the house have turned into busy times with parents scrambling to keep their kids fed, clean, and entertained.

No more spontaneous adventures

Pre-parenthood couples also find it easier to go on spontaneous vacations or adventures–jumping in the car for a road trip or quick pasyal in new places for the day, or booking last-minute tickets for a weekend getwaway. Kids in tow often require much more planning, resources, and patience.

Mom of one, Axel Ra, recalls how she and her partner used to take late-night road trips: “Mahilig kami noon lumabas kapag gabi. Kain, kape, road trip, ganyan. Madalas, nakakarating kami ng Tagaytay para lang magkape at tumambay. Ngayon, hindi na namin magawa kasi walang magbabantay sa anak namin.”

Mothers Veronica Clara and Rowena Managbanag both comment that they miss spontaneous travels. Rowena remembers going on impromptu trips without even packing clothes: “Mag-travel nang wala sa plano tapos walang damit na dala, bibili nalang sa mall.”

Such carefree trips might be a distant memory for many parents, as last-minute vacations are now replaced by school activities, arranging for childcare, and child-friendly accommodations and activities.

Outdoor activities: From hiking to strolling with kids

Outdoor activities, like hiking, fun runs, or fishing, might also be challenging for parents, since doing these with kids in tow entail more planning and consideration.

For mom of one, Michelle Morente, hiking and fun runs are activities she misses the most. While mom Ra Chael also misses her more adventurous outdoor pastimes, commenting, “Fishing, boating, kayaking.” Hold tight, mamas. Bigger kids might appreciate outdoor activities.

Late-night hangouts turned family bonding nights

Night filled with friends, music, and even alcoholic drinks, have probably transformed into bonding nights with the whole family.

Arlyn Nalayog recalls when she and her partner used to drink and watch movies late into the night. “Yung nag-iinuman kaming dalawa kapag day off niya kinabukasan…habang nanonood ng movies.”

Mica Michelle, who have older kids, admitted that she has reclaimed such moments, “Now na malalaki na ng kids, ginagawa na ulit namin yung mga dating gawi, tulad ng manood ng sine nang late.”

The anxiety when without kids

Going out without the kids might seem refreshing for parents, but it can also come with a certain dose of anxiety. A day or night out without the kids is incomplete without making or receiving a call from home.

Mom of four, Niña Alaine captures this anxiety of sneaking out, saying, “Makatakas para mamasyal, now na may kids na, hindi na makatakas. Kung makatakas man, asahan mo at maya’t maya kakabahan ka kapag may tawag sa bahay.”

Embrace this season

While parents can laugh about the things they’ve given up for their kids, these stories also remind us of the deeper reality of parenthood: life changes, yes it can be jolting and yes we can miss some things, but these changes can also lead to new joys and memories.

For some parents, like Chel York, who considers that her pre-parenthood pastimes did not disappear, they simply evolved into family traditions. “Bowling, arcade, movie date, which is nagagawa pa rin namin ngayon with the kids na! This is our kind of family dates every weekend.”

Ultimately, we may take stock of the things we might have lost to parenthood, but we should also remember to appreciate and love this season we are in. While we might miss those carefree days of spontaneous travel, uninterrupted meals, and peaceful date nights, we should always, always appreciate what we do have: fun days with our children. The joy of creating new family traditions–however chaotic they may be–is irreplaceable.

Here’s why parents should do date nights.