'If Not For My Parents And Adoption, I Wouldn't Be Here Today'

“I don’t want you going out there if you’re not in a good place. You don’t need to go out there and hurt yourself. That’s just not right, okay? You need to take care of yourself,” Nellie Biles told her daughter Simone at the Tokyo 2020 Olympics.

When we think about parents who empower their children to reach beyond their limits to be the best, we probably would not think of a mother who supports her daughter’s decision to pull out from the highest world stage of gymnastics, the Olympics. However, this is what Nellie Biles did when world champion and Olympian Simone Biles, her daughter, called her to say her head was not in the right place and she might risk injury by competing.

Three years later, in 2024, Simone won three gold medals and one silver, bringing her Olympic medals total to eleven. She is now considered as the greatest of all time for US gymnastics. The Associated Press quotes Simone, “I accomplished way more than my wildest dreams, not just at this Olympics, but in the sport… Competing then walking away with four medals. I’m not mad about it.”

Simone’s attitude towards the medals and the Olympic Games seems to come from a deep strength: the certainty that her parents support her in every way, that they trust her ability to make the right decisions, and that they will fiercely love her no matter what.

Simone Biles: Beloved daughter

"I remember praying for that bonding… because telling them that you love them and you care for them; that's all words. But then you wake up one day, and you realize that you would do anything for these children. And that you would die for these children. And when that feeling comes, that's when you know you are truly a mother," said Nellie as quoted by People Magazine.

The same article quotes Nellie on adopting Simone and her younger sister, Adria. Nellie is Simone’s grandmother by law, but she is not biologically related to her. Nellie’s husband, Ronald, was a single father to Simone’s biological mother when he married Nellie. 

Today quotes Simone in an August 2024 intervew, "If not for my parents and adoption, I wouldn't be here today.” Simone was three years old when her biological mother put her and her three siblings into the foster care system, as she could no longer capably care for them. The children were in the system for three years, until Simone was six years old. At that point, Nellie and Ronald Biles stepped in to adopt her and Adria.

Shortly after they arrived at their adoptive parents’ home, Simone and Adria were enrolled in gymnastics classes. Simone fell in love with the sport to the point that she would be the one preparing for gymnastics. She would even attempt to go when she was sick! Nellie and Ronald did not hold her back. Simone said, "My parents make sure we have everything we need so that we compete to the best of our abilities."

The greatest evidence of this is their refusal to let their daughter compete in a competition she felt like she could not mentally handle. The controversy over Simone’s decision in 2020 was incredible, with some appreciating that mental health was openly talked about, while others pointed out that as a previous Olympic champion, ideally she should have trained to a point where mental health was not much of an issue.

Instead, Nellie and Ronald Biles reminded Simone of two things that she needed to know, not as a potential champion, but as their daughter. First, that they were confident in her own abilities to make her own decisions. Second, that they would love and stand by her no matter what.

Adoptive Parenting: What transforms it?

Adoptive parenting, especially of older children, can pose some difficulties to the parents. A large part of it is the knowledge that there are a number of years that the parent can never have with the child and a number of experiences that can never be reversed. For some parents, this can lead to over-researching and over-planning for possible negative outcomes, with fewer attempts to connect with the child.

Another discussion that sometimes surfaces around adoption is that certain behaviors are stigmatized and simplistically linked to an adoptive child. For some families, this can mean a tendency to guide the life of the child such that they never go wrong. In any family, biological or adoptive, this can affect the child’s ability to act and live independently.

In healthy families, every member pays attention to themselves and trusts in the love and acceptance of the rest of the family members. Simone Biles was in touch with her own emotions and how they affected her performance. She paid attention, identified the concern, and reached out to family members whom she knew she could never disappoint no matter what. We cannot know what would have happened in the Tokyo Olympics if she joined.

However, we know for sure that Simone entered the 2024 Paris Olympics a confident gymnast in love with her sport but not fixated on winning. To Simone, medals mean less than the presence of the family that always has her back. To any child, but particularly to any child welcomed home through adoption, this is the least they could wish for and the most that they deserve.

Simone's adoption was more than a biographical note. It changed the trajectory of her entire life—all the way to the Olympic podium. Adoption may become normalized sometime in the future, but its power to transform generations cannot be understimated.

Read this story know more about adoption in the Philippines.

Esther Suson is a freelance writer and editor, and the communications manager of adoption agency Generations—Home.

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