'I Grew Up Without A Father, But I Never, Ever Felt Any Hint Of Lack In My Life'

Just recently, my mom completed the collection, printing, and framing of all her children's graduation portraits. They are displayed on a wall by the staircase that is hard to miss. Among the other certificates and prizes decorated around these frames, I'm sure my mom takes deep pride in this collection of graduates in their togas.

But what truly lies within those frames?

For me, the greatest source of pride is the fact that my single mother was able to send all four of her children to school, and we all successfully completed college.

My sister Wendy achieved a double degree in HRM and Business Management, eventually going on to complete a Master's in Business Management and a Doctorate in Management. Manong Paolo earned a degree in International Studies, kuya Anjo in Architecture, and I followed in my mother's footsteps with a degree in Mass Communication.

That is why, albeit growing up without a father, I never, ever felt any hint of 'lack' in my life. There was such an overflow of providence, love, affection, and deep care from my own mom that there was no longer any need to go looking for it elsewhere.

"While we tend to define a complete family as one with a mother and a father, my mom shattered that notion." --Val Amiel Vestil

We live in a society that often labels single-parent families as "dysfunctional," perpetuating a harmful stereotype that undermines the remarkable strength and determination of single mothers like mine. However, as I reflect on my upbringing, I realize that this narrative couldn't be further from the truth. My mother's commitment to providing for her children reshaped my perception of family.

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While we tend to define a complete family as one with a mother and a father, my mom shattered that notion. She taught me that family is not determined by the number of parents, but rather by the depth of the bonds we forge with those who nurture and support us. Her love knew no limits and showed me that single mothers can rear children on their own and set them up for success. Today, all of us are working professionals, our mom's badge of honor.

Maybe it is time to remove the term "dysfunctional" from our vocabulary when referring to families without fathers. Instead, let us recognize and celebrate the power of single mothers (or single fathers!) who transform challenges into opportunities and shower their children with the love they deserve.

Family comes in many beautiful forms, each with its own unique journey. I am grateful to be a part of this small, crazy family and wouldn't have it any other way.

PS. Shout out to my chosen family, especially Tita Gail, who has been a second mom to me.

Val Amiel Vestil devotes much of his personal and professional life to advocating for environmental sustainability. He works in various fields, including youth development, environmental journalism, and climate communications.

Val is the founder of the Association of Young Environmental Journalists (AYEJ), an ecological literacy non-profit organization focused on capacity-building and knowledge product development on climate and environmental issues. He also serves as a professional events host, public speaking coach, content creator, and educator.

SmartParenting.com.ph editors made minor edits to this story for clarity.