Stay-At-Home Dad’s Photos Remind Him, ‘I Wasn’t That Bad’

Last March 2024, we asked readers to submit photos capturing the raw and unfiltered moments of parenthood. Out of thousands of entries, 50 best fatherhood moments were selected and announced on Father’s Day. This article is part of a series that delves into the stories behind the 10 winning photos of Smart Parenting’s Parenthood 100 photo contest.

In a world often characterized by traditional gender roles, Richard Cabico’s photo titled "Fatherhood Bliss" presents a powerful narrative that challenges conventional norms. This poignant image, which is one of the winners in Smart Parenting's Parenthood 100 Photo Contest for Father’s Day, encapsulates the essence of modern fatherhood—an intimate glimpse into the daily struggles and joys of being a stay-at-home dad.

A snapshot of daily life

The photograph captures Richard cradling his youngest son Gab while guiding his older son Seb in his studies. The scene is set in their home, where every corner speaks of a father's dedication and love. “That was just a normal day for me during weekdays,” Richard reflects. “My eldest son Seb, 6, was attending afternoon kindergarten class. So in the morning, I would help him with his assignments, help him review for exams, or assist him in his projects, all while taking care of our youngest Gab, 1 year old.”

For Richard, the day starts with putting Gab down for his morning nap. This seemingly simple task often demands creativity, patience, and hard work, as Richard admits, “I was sweating kasi Gab needed the swaying, dancing, and singing to put him to sleep.” Richard also shares, “Gab was 11 months old in the photo.”

Capturing the chaos and calm

When asked about the intention behind capturing this specific moment, Richard's answer is heartfelt.

“I want those moments to be captured and treasured. If the Lord will let me live, and grow older, I want to look back at these photos to remind myself na ‘I wasn’t all that bad Dad pala,’”-Richard shares.

Richard uses his iPhone 12 Pro Max for all his photos, “I just set it in Raw mode, a little crop, and then set it to black and white."

Journey of a stay-at-home dad

Richard first shared his  journey into full-time fatherhood via his photo entry’s description wherein he candidly said, “When my wife left to work in Dubai, our youngest was still 1 month old. I said, this should be easy. I was wrong.”

“It’s like I’m the one who suffered from PPD, and that I became ‘losyang’ too,” he shares, using humor to lighten the gravity of his struggles. The challenges of managing a toddler and a school-aged child single-handedly often left him feeling overwhelmed. “Sometimes you will really lose your cool,” Richard confesses. Yet, amidst the chaos, he found solace and strength in the bond with his children.

Before his wife left, Richard shared their routine, “Palitan kami sa pagpapalit ng diaper, pagpapatulog, pagpapaligo and pag-aalaga… When my wife went back to Dubai, all the responsibilities ay napunta sa akin. Though I live with my in-laws, ako pa rin ang mostly gumagawa ng lahat. When I need to take a shower, go to the toilet, take Seb to school, ibibigay ko sa in-laws ko si Gab. Sometimes naman my in-laws will let me sleep in the afternoon to rest.”

Embracing his dad role

Another memorable photo Richard shared with Smart Parenting is of him and son, Seb at a beach in Cebu. “Seb was 4 years old in the photo and he really loved the beach. It was May 21, 2022, when my in-laws decided to have dinner at this beach resort,” Richard recalls. The impromptu swim, devoid of extra clothes or prior planning, reflects the spontaneity and joy that parenting often entails. “We went there late afternoon, and before we had our dinner, me and Seb decided to take a dip, which is so unplanned,” he adds with a smile. “Seb ended up naked and I rolled up my shorts na lang because we didn’t bring extra clothes.”

Richard’s dedication to his children never wavered. His day-to-day routine involved more than just basic caregiving; it was about nurturing, educating, and bonding with his sons. “Helping him [Seb] with his homework, projects, school activities is also challenging. It was really hard. I really suffered depression, self-pity, and loneliness. But along the way, as time goes by, I gradually became used to it,” Richard explains. The routine, though exhausting, became a source of immense joy and fulfillment.

Richard’s commitment extends beyond mere physical presence. He actively engages in activities that foster emotional and intellectual growth. “Nagbabasa ako ng bedtime story sa kanilang dalawa,” he says, emphasizing the importance of storytelling as a bonding ritual. These moments of connection, though seemingly small, are pivotal in shaping a child’s sense of security and love.

For Richard, being a stay-at-home dad is not just about managing household chores or childcare duties; it’s about redefining fatherhood and embracing the role with pride. “Parents, may you be a stay-at-home dad, full-time mom, single dad, single mom, our job is perpetual and imperishable. It’s not a contract that expires or you can renew,” Richard asserts. His message resonates with parents facing similar challenges, offering a beacon of hope and resilience. “It’s tough, and I’m sure you’d agree, sometimes we lose our cool. But our kids depend on us. No one else. But us. We are their role models. For moms and dads na hindi kasama ang kanilang mga asawa or working abroad, don’t think na pasan niyo ang mundo. You are both in this together.”

Looking to the future

Richard’s photos are more than just snapshots of a moment; they are a testament to a father’s love and dedication.

“One day, my kids will have their own families, they will have their own home, own life. But my kids will always be my baby boys. Someday, when they grow old, they will remember our time together when they were young, that their daddy had the most precious time taking care of them, kahit mahirap. And since nasa Dubai si mommy, I would send her everyday photos of us para hindi siya malungkot,” Richard adds.

In a society where the role of a father is often understated, Richard's story and photographs offer a refreshing perspective. They celebrate the everyday triumphs and challenges of being a stay-at-home dad, highlighting the profound impact of a father’s presence in a child’s life.

Click here to see all the finalists for Smart Parenting's Parenthood 100 Photo Contest under the category, Dedication.