The Honest, Unfiltered Truth Behind Our Kid's Cute Photos

Welcome to Real Parenting, a space where parents can share the joys, pain, and the mess of parenthood. Want to get something off your chest? Share your parenting journey? Email us at smartparentingsubmissions@gmail with the subject "Real Parenting." Click here to read more 'Real Parenting' stories.

You’ve all seen them—flooding your social media feeds. The daily dose of adorable content. Those contagious giggles and candid smiles captured in photos. The nakagigil thigh folds. Toddlers napping peacefully, trying on a new outfit, making another mealtime mayhem. Their first smile, first step, and first plane ride. From the milestones to the mundane, there’s nothing like cute kids’ photos to lift people’s moods and brighten every family and tita-friends chat group.

You can never get enough of them. And in those moments between gushing and double-tapping, presents a moment for you to look past the photos, and see the driving force behind them.

A mom tells all: The truth behind our kids' cute photos

Behind every well-dressed, fresh-smelling child is a mom who hasn’t showered for a day (or two). A mom who hasn’t had her nails done in months. A mom who hasn’t shopped for a new bra since giving birth.

Behind every flat lay, with the baby carefully placed between stuffed toys or buckets of fried chicken, is a mom who desperately tries to remember all the progress and new tricks her little one showed off that month. Attempting to scribble them down in the baby book she promised herself she’d finish when she has time—only to end up etching those memories in her heart.

Behind every Instagram reel is a mom who organized the entire trip. Who checked if restaurants had high chairs and kid-friendly menu items. Who mapped out breastfeeding and changing rooms in every place they would visit. Who ran each day’s itinerary through her head a dozen times to make sure everything was packed—down to the last insect repellent sticker.

"Behind every photo is a mom who is still in disbelief—of the life she has created, of the future she is shaping."

Behind every family photo is a mom who’s tired beyond reason, a wife who hasn’t had quality time with her husband, and a woman who isn’t sure who she is anymore.

And yet.

Behind every photo is a mom beaming with pride. Whose heart is exploding because it hasn’t expanded enough to fit all the love she feels for that boy with a toothy smile. Whose tears of wonder flow at random times throughout the day at the thought of that bright-eyed girl.

Behind every photo is a mom who is still in disbelief—of the life she has created, of the future she is shaping.

'Motherhood is both beautiful and brutal.'

The truth is, we moms are having the most extraordinary and exhausting time of our lives. We are happy and thankful and living the prayer, but we are also lonely, depleted, and unappreciated. And on any given day, that’s too much to unpack—so we just post cute photos of our kids.

Because really, who has time to reflect when we barely have time to eat our lunch in under five minutes? How do we carve out time for ourselves to process the lightning-speed changes happening in our lives?

How do we walk away from all the mess, even just to breathe, without being chased by guilt seconds later?

For the moms juggling paid work and motherhood, how do we have energy left for anything else after our second shift? When we’ve spent nine hours in the office, three hours in traffic (if we’re lucky), and another four hours doing all the caring and housework that no one sees or recognizes. When that invisible work doesn’t even include all the planning, decision-making, anticipating, troubleshooting, and remembering—all the mental load we don’t get to share evenly with our partners.

If all that occupies our minds every day, how do we find the headspace to see the magic in all this chaos?

How can we pause when the demands from our child, our spouse, our employer, and society never stop? Motherhood is both beautiful and brutal.

Why moms take photos even though they are struggling

And when people ask us how we are, how do we keep ourselves from saying, “Everything’s fine. Motherhood is amazing.” When the only alternative is a monologue of all the anger, joy, resentment, gratitude, and fear we’ve bottled up inside.

These thoughts and questions spin around our heads. Every day. In nauseating circles.

So we take a photo. Try not to have a mental breakdown. Take a photo. Post it online and wait for the reactions to pour in. Take a photo. Make it through another day. And another. And another.

We live for the heart-eyed emojis in our message inbox and the 3,000+ photos in our phone gallery (2,000 of which are almost identical). Photos we scroll through when we lie awake in the middle of the night, or in the two-minute window when we pop our coffee in the microwave to reheat it for the nth time.

At the end of the day (or start of the day, or middle of it, because honestly, moms’ days don’t end), we still have to get up and feed the child, do the laundry, get to work, and earn for the family. No matter how spent we are, we still have to show up.

At least, in the midst of the clutter and uncertainty, we have cute photos of our kids reminding us—we’re doing something right.

Roanne Duran-Pascual is a professional storyteller and a development worker, and mom of a one-year-old boy.