'Hindi Lang Anak Namin Ang Inaasikaso Ni Househusband, Pati Na Rin Ako. Wow Talaga!'

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These days, dads have taken a more active role when it comes to caring for the kids and running the household. Some of them even happily choose to be a househusband, supporting and letting their wife pursue a career.

That’s why they deserve the same respect as stay-at-home moms, says Kristine “Tin” Sagcal, 31. Her husband, Philip, is the one in charge of the house, including looking after their 2-year-old son, Kai.

 On our parenting community, Smart Parenting Village, Tin could not help but be sentimental while sharing a video of her husband getting up in the middle of the night to prepare their son’s milk and change his diapers.

“Bilang isang working mom, ang laking tulong para sa akin pati sa pagtulog ko ‘yung sa madaling araw, hindi ko na gagawin kasi andyan ‘yung maintindihin, mapagmahal, masipag at mabuti kong asawa,” she writes in her post.

“Simula nung tumigil si Kai sa breastfeeding, si househusband na ang nag-aayos ng gatas ni Kai. Timpla, linis ng bote siya lahat. Sinasabay na rin niya sa pagpalit ng diaper sa madaling araw. Sipag diba!

“Kaya sana ‘yung respeto at bilib mo sa stay-at-home mom, ganun din [ang] ibigay mo sa mga stay-at-home dads. Hindi rin biro ‘yung ginagawa nila,” she shares.

Why stay-at-home dads are good

In an interview with SmartParenting.com.ph, Tin shares that deciding who will stay home to care for their son was a mutual decision between her and Philip. They had been talking about it even before she gave birth.

“Gumawa kami ng pros and cons. Mas malaki ang suweldo niya as a supervisor kaysa sa’kin pero mas madami akong nakukuhang benefits and mas stable ‘yung company. So, we decided na siya ang mag-stay sa bahay.” Tin shares.

One of the reasons why Philip agreed to be a househusband was because he wanted to support Tin’s career. “Ang sabi niya, ‘pag ako raw kasi ang nag-stop sa work, siyempre hindi na tayo bumabata, baka mahirapan akong makabalik. Unlike ‘pag lalaki mas malaki ang chance makabalik sa work,” the mom shares, adding that she wasn’t also confident about doing household chores.

What it’s like to be a househusband

Tin says that she was moved to make a post about her husband because she was just so proud of how he was taking care of their family.

“Hindi lang si Kai ang inaasikaso niya. Pati ako. Nakaka-wow talaga, kaya gusto kong maging inspirasyon siya para sa ibang husband,” she says.

Philip’s day starts at 3:30 a.m. He cooks breakfast for them and prepares Tin’s baon. He’ll prepare Kai’s clothes and wash the bottles that Kai used the previous night. Then, he’ll wake up Tin so she can get ready for work.

“Bakit maaga siya gumigising? Para tatabihan naman niya si Kai habang kumikilos ako at para hindi magising ng walang kasama,” Tin says.

“Kahit anong sarap ng tulog niya, babangon siya in the middle of the night para timplahan ng milk at palitan ng diaper si Kai. Siya rin ang nagpapaligo, nagpapakain, nagtuturo kay Kai. Playmates din sila.

“Habang tulog naman si Kai sa hapon, ginagawa niya ‘yung ibang chores like online grocery or maglalaba ng damit ni Kai.”

She adds, “Wala na po akong ginagawa pag-uwi galing work. Even face shield at shoes ko nililinis niya pag uwi ko. Tinatawag na lang niya ako para kumain ng dinner.”

During weekends, Tin takes over child-rearing duties while Philip accomplishes the rest of the household chores — cleaning the house and ironing and folding clothes. Tin says, “Kahit nung working siya, ganyan na rin siya kasipag ‘pag dating sa chores.”

Despite doing so many things, Philip doesn’t forget to have couple dates with his wife at home. “Sobrang saludo ako sa asawa ko at wala akong masabi,” she says.

Still the head of the family

Tin says that despite being the “breadwinner,” she’s never lost respect for her husband. In fact, her respect for him just doubles. “Never kong inalis ‘yung title niya as head of the family. Bago ako mag-decide ng kahit ano, kino-consult ko muna sa kanya bilang respeto,” she shares.

Tin adds that while their setup may be uncommon in the eyes of others, it is what works for them. “I am not sure until when ‘yung setup namin na ganito, pero marami po akong natututunan sa situation namin.”

The key is to have mutual understanding, open communication, and appreciate the value of compromise. “Couples have to make decisions that work for them. Income and childcare responsibilities don’t need to be assigned by gender. We are all living in 2020, role reversal is no longer a big deal,” she says.

Read more inspiring stories from stay-at-home dads here.

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