'Hindi Ba Talaga Pwede Pagsabayin Ang Work At Pagiging Nanay?'

The pandemic has allowed many parents to have the privilege to work from home while caring for their children. Four years after, some companies and employers are transitioning to a hybrid setup, meaning they are requiring some of their employees to report onsite for a number of days. While it's expected that this will happen as things go back to normal, this adjustment can be extra challenging for parents.

Work-from-home mom transitioning to hybrid setup asks for help: 'Mag-resign nalang ba ako?'

This was the case of an anonymous mom in the Smart Parenting Village, a Facebook community with over 106,000 members. She shared that she has been working in a business processing outsourcing (BPO) company in a work-from-home setup for six years. However, her employer suddenly announced a "temporary hybrid setup" effective next week, requiring her to report onsite twice a week.

Both she and her husband work, and their parents live far away. They have a six-year-old daughter, and she worries about who will look after her on the days she needs to report to work.

"Eto yung dati ko pang ino-overthink eh, kung sakaling ipag-onsite kami. 'Yung mag babantay lang talaga sa anak. Wala naman ako pangkuha ng yaya, at wala rin kami maisip sinong mapagkakatiwalaan na mapag-iwanan sa anak namin. Hindi na ako makatulog kakaisip," she shared.

"Kung ako po ang tatanungin? Gusto ko nalang mag-resign dahil baka hindi rin ako makapag-comply sa gusto nila. 'Yun ang gusto ko. Pero ano bang gusto ng Lord sa akin?" 

"May ipon naman po ako kahit papaano. Suggestion ni mister, mag-resign nalang daw ako. Pero hindi ko po alam kung tama bang desisyon yun. Sa work-from-home nga po, nangangarag pa din ako lalo pag may pasok ang anak ko. Pag nag-onsite ako, si mister naman ang mamomroblema kung saan iiwanan ang anak namin kapag papasok na siya."

The mom also felt the need to resign as her work has taken a toll on her health. "Kung ako po ang tatanungin? Gusto ko nalang mag-resign dahil baka hindi rin ako makapag-comply sa gusto nila. Pero ang hindi nagpapatahimik sa akin eh, kung tama bang desisyon yun."

She continued, "'Yun ang gusto ko. Pero ano bang gusto ng Lord sa akin? Paano ba malaman yun? Kailangan ko ng sagot, next week na mag-start hybrid. I need your opinion po, ang bigat ng dibdib ko. Kung kayo nasa sitwasyon ko, ano ang gagawin niyo?"

Parents share advice to the work-from-home mom

Here are some of the recommendations from parents to the anonymous mom.

1. Choose your child.

Moms and dads at the Smart Parenting Village offered advice to the anonymous mom. One mom confidently said, "Para po madalian ka mag-decide mommy, always choose your kid."

Another mom shared her experience, saying she went through the same situation two years ago. She asked a relative to look after her child while they worked until her son got sick. "Doon na talaga ako nagising na, my son needs me more. He should always comes first."

What helped her was to look for a remote job opportunity. She tells the anonymous mom, "Don’t lose hope, mommy. See it as a redirection. Baka mas may greater things in store for you."

2. Decide which parent should stay home.

A mom of four suggested discussing the situation with her husband. If her husband can financially support the family, then she can look for another source of income like a home-based business. She shared her experience, "We ended up na isa ang mag-re-resign, ako ang nagtuloy mag-work, si partner ang nag-stay at home."

She added, "Nakaka-guilty din sa side ko kasi na-stop yung career ni partner, pero at the same time, hindi na ako mag-aalala kung okay ba ang mga bata.  Alam kong masakit sa part ni partner na bitawan ung work niya, pero mas inisip niya yung mga bata."

3. Resign, but make sure you are aware of the consequences.

One mom said resignation may seem like an easy way out, but it's important to decide on it after you have considered all the options. "When things get tough, magsisimula mo na i-question bakit ka nga ba nag resign. Walang sariling pera, ganito, ganon. Been there, done that."

She advises the mom to discuss their expenses as they transition to a single-income household. "If mag-re-resign ka, take that opportunity for you to think clearer. Pahinga na rin for your body."

4. Look for a recommended helper or a childcare center

Although it seems daunting to look for a helper whom you can trust, amid horror stories from relatives and friends, a mom recommends looking for a helper who can look after your child while you work onsite. "Try to find a helper through recommendations from your friends and relatives. Then mag-install po kayo ng CCTV sa house ninyo. Try niyo po muna if magwowork yung ganung setup sa inyo. If inot, then siguro call niyo na to resign. Wala namang masama if susubukan," the mom said.

Another mom meanwhile shared that they leave their child in a childcare center in Makati, then they'll just pick her up after work, but as she says, this might be costly.

5. Find a permanent work-from-home job.

A lot of the parents recommended the mom to look for a job that will allow her to work permanently from home, like becoming a virtual assistant or other home-based work.

6. Talk to your employer.

Explain your situation to your employer, and discuss possible work setups for you. While this may not yield a positive result, it pays to try. 

Work-from-home mom decides to resign

A few days after posting, the mom shared an update: she filed an immediate resignation to her employer. She thanked the parents who shared their insights and credited her husband for helped her decide.

 "Babalik ako ng trabaho, pero sa ngayon, 'yung anak, asawa ko, at sarili ko muna. 

She shared, "Ang saya ng puso ko! Sobrang tuwa din ng mag-ama ko. Handa na akong pagsilbihan sila ng maayos. Higit sa lahat, ang bumawi ng tulog."

The mom noted how her work has been affecting her health. "Matagal na kong pinagreresign ng mister ko, pero ako lang po talaga itong nilalaban itong WFH. Ang laking bagay din po talaga ng may kasangga ka sa buhay na solid ang suporta sa'yo kahit anong gawin mo."

She added, "Babalik ako ng trabaho, pero sa ngayon, 'yung anak, asawa ko, at sarili ko muna. Sa mga bayarin, kaya naman po ng sahod ni mister, wala din naman kaming utang po. Kung may emergency man po, may bala naman po kahit papaano."

"The best kayo mga mommies! Ako lang ata ang nanay na mahina sa pag-desisyon. Sobrang salamat po. Mabuhay po kayong lahat!" she concluded.

If you find yourself in the same situation as Anonymous Mom, know that whatever decision you choose, we believe in you.

Want to get something off your chest? Join the Smart Parenting Village here.