In light of discussions surrounding the Senate Bill 1979, also known as the Prevention of Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Bill, the topic of masturbation in children has sparked conversations among Filipino parents.
While the bill does not explicitly state that schools will teach children about masturbation, opponents of the bill have claimed that, if passed, it could pave the way for such "abhorrent" teachings.
As a parent of a 5-year-old and a 4-month-old, I understand how unsettling it can be to even read the words 'children' and 'masturbation' in the same sentence. But is there truly something to worry about children touching themselves? Or are we, adults who have grown up unaware that this is normal from a medical standpoint, may be the ones adding malice?
Knowledge is power, and if discussing topics like this can help us better educate our children, then by all means, let's do so openly.
Understanding children and masturbation
To educate us about masturbation among young children, let's hear it from Dr. Rica Cruz, the first and only Filipino board-certified diplomate in clinical sexology from the American Board of Sexology, and a member of the Smart Parenting Board of Experts.
In a recent Instagram post, Dr. Rica shared her thoughts on childhood masturbation, "Seeing a child engage in genital stimulation can make parents uncomfortable, as it might feel like a loss of innocence. But for young children, this behavior is not about sex—the discomfort and perceived malice often come from adult interpretations."
Dr. Rica explains that most children, regardless of gender, regularly touch their private parts by the age of 5 or 6. She clarifies that self-stimulation, which may even begin in utero, is a way for children to feel comfort or explore their bodies, and not for sexual reasons.
A 2010 study by Heitham K. Ajlouni on the role of sex hormones in masturbation behavior in children aligns with Dr. Rica's insight, showing that masturbation starts in children before 2 years old.
Masturbation among children: What is normal
According to Healthy Children, the following actions are considered common and normal in children aged 2 to 6:
- Touching/rubbing genitals, in public or private
- Looking at or touching a peer's or sibling's genitals
- Showing genitals to peers
- Standing or sitting too close to someone
- Trying to see peers or adults naked
However, some behaviors may indicate a problem, such as:
- Explicit imitation of sexual intercourse
- Touching an adult or an animal's genitals
- Inserting objects into their genitals
These behaviors could signal a disorder, physical or sexual abuse, or exposure to inappropriate content. Parents should stay vigilant if their child's actions go beyond curiosity.
Masturbation among children: What's alarming
Here are some red flags to watch for. Talk to your pediatrician if your young child's sexual behavior or act:
- Prevents them from focusing on a task
- Becomes obsessive and cannot be redirected
- Causes emotional or physical pain to themselves or others
- Involves coercion, force, or aggression
- Simulates penetrative or adult sexual acts
Additionally, CS Mott Children's Hospital reports that the following should be cause for concern and can be consulted with your child's pediatrician:
- If the child seems to have an early understanding of the two-sidedness of the sex act.
- If the activity increases much above the original level, indicating the child is stressed about something and is trying to comfort themselves.
- If you feel your child is particularly unhappy or sad.
- If it seems to be accompanied by trauma to the area from scratching or rubbing.
What to do if young children touch themselves in public?
While masturbation is normal among children, Dr. Rica advises parents to set boundaries if it occurs in public.
"Children don't understand the social implications and see it as no different than twirling hair or picking their nose. Avoid making a big deal out of it, as attention may reinforce the behavior," she reminds.
Set limits and teach boundaries.
As soon as your child can talk, teach them about body safety and boundaries. Use the proper names for the body parts when doing so. Teach them about privacy and consent as early as possible, and explain touching their genitals is a private activity meant for the bedroom or bathroom.
Distract and provide comfort.
Redirect their attention to another activity. If self-touching is a way to self-soothe, Dr. Rica advises parents to offer more hugs and cuddles or provide security objects like plushie, doll, or blanket for comfort.
Guide neurodivergent kids.
For neurodivergent kids, small rewards will help encourage appropriate behavior.
Teach them about 'Not-OK' touches.
Help your child understand inappropriate touches. Remind them that it's not okay for anyone to touch their private parts, and that they need to tell you or a trusted grown-up immediately when it happens. Make sure to listen to your child and believe them if they report any case of abuse.
Masturbation among teens: 'Nothing will stop them'
Masturbation among adolescents is also normal. The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes that a child who masturbates is not oversexed, promiscuous, or deviant.
Dr. Rica, who is the CEO of Unprude, Asia's first sex education app, reminds parents, "By age 15, almost all boys and a quarter of girls have masturbated to the point of orgasm. So don't be surprised if they start locking their doors or take too much time in the bathroom. Just make sure that they're not engaging in any online shenanigans, and you're good."
She stresses that nothing will stop them—not even warnings of 'You'll go to hell!' "They might feel guilty, but they’ll do it again the next day," she concludes.
Dr. Rica has dedicated her career to studying Filipino sexual behaviors and helping individuals and couples with sexual and relationship issues. She aims to provide youth with quality sex education and guide anyone in embracing their sexual selves, to fully enjoy sex on their own terms.
Together with her daughter Caia Miella, Dr. Rica has a sex education column on Smart Parenting entitled Smart Parenting’s Guide to Sex Education. Read more here.
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