Behavioral Development in Adolescence: Your Child Transitions Into an Adult

Behavioral Development in Adolescence: Your Child Transitions into an Adult

 

People often say that adolescence is the most challenging time for parents. But did you know it is as difficult for your child, too?

 

Adolescence is marked by puberty, which starts earlier than you might think. Adolescence has three stages: early adolescence, middle adolescence, and late adolescence.

 

Early Adolescence (10-14 years)

 

Early adolescents have an unyielding black-and-white belief. Things are either correct or wrong, with no gray area.

 

It is usual for kids at this stage to be self-centered. You may see this behavior often in early adolescents who are the eldest among siblings. They often complain or resent when told to give way to their younger siblings.

 

Early adolescents are also often preoccupied with their appearance. These are the years when they will want to be with their peers more often than with family. At home, they will wish for privacy and assert this if you reinforce limits and boundaries.

 

Your child will push for more independence and assert they are no longer a child. To make good on this, they may reject things they used to enjoy. They may also challenge authority or family, especially if they feel silenced.

 

Mood swings are also common and expected during these years, so try to be calm and understanding. Your child is awash with all these new emotions and experiences due to puberty hormones. It is a challenging time for your child, too.

 

Middle Adolescence (15-17 Years)

 

Teenagers at this age can think abstractly or “see the big picture.” However, their impulse control and complex decision-making skills are still not well-developed. They are still prone to making unwise choices!

 

For example, your teen has homework the night their anticipated movie comes out. Because they think they are doing well in that subject, skipping the task and watching Netflix is okay.

 

Your teen’s peer allegiance will become stronger at this stage. You may notice that your child is hardly at home anymore. They will also be more inclined to try fads and trends their peers follow.

 

Middle adolescents still focus on their appearances, mainly their attractiveness. This is also when they become interested in exploring romantic and sexual relationships. They may push or question their sexuality and lock themselves in their rooms to pursue self-exploration or masturbation.

 

As parents, you must balance giving them space and enforcing boundaries and limits. Middle adolescents’ experimental behavior and impulsive decision-making can lead to risky behaviors.

 

Late Adolescence (18-21 Years)

 

Unlike middle adolescents, late adolescents have a stronger rein in their impulses. These young adults are also more able to gauge between rewards and risks.

 

For example, suppose your middle adolescent chooses to skip homework to watch a movie. In contrast, your late adolescent may pick the more responsible option.

 

After years of focusing on themselves, late adolescents have a stronger sense of self. They also have more concrete beliefs and values.

 

They can now focus on the future and long-term goals and relationships. Friends and romantic partners formed during this stage tend to become more stable than relationships formed in early childhood.

 

Young adults are also mature enough to drift away from cliques and focus more on individuals. Peer pressure and societal influences will now have a looser hold on them.

 

Late adolescents will still have a strong sense of independence. They may want to move out to broaden their horizons.

 

What are the Things I Should Be Concerned About?

 

Peer pressure and bullying are common during adolescence. But talk with your pediatrician if you notice any of the following:

 

• Unusual weight gain or loss

• Unhealthy eating patterns (excessive eating or extreme loss of appetite)

• Signs of depression (persistent sadness, lack of energy, changes in sleep or appetite, withdrawal from normal activities)

• Unusual and pervasive sense of worry or anxiety

• Drastic changes in academic performance

• Extreme disregard for or obsession with appearance (lack of hygiene, apathy to fashion they previously loved)

• Self-harming behavior

• Expressing thoughts about suicide or suicidal behavior

• Substance use

 

Having you as your child’s strong support will help them cope with peer pressure. However, this can only happen if you and your adolescent have a healthy, understanding relationship.

 

Take the advice of our Smart Parenting expert, pediatrician child health specialist Dr. Joey Cuayo-Estanislao: “Be patient as they challenge your authority, but be firm and consistent with your boundaries. Let them know that they can trust you with themselves, and their secrets, but don’t push them too hard about confiding in you.”

 

Adolescence is a trying time for both you and your child! Do not mistake your child’s undesirable behavior with them being deviant or “bad.” “What’s important is that they know you are always ready to listen to them and that [you’ll] always be watching out for them. Show genuine interest in them and their activities, compliment them on their efforts and accomplishments, and don’t forget to show them affection and give them your time, especially when they seek it,” adds Dr. Cuayo-Estanislao. “Being a dependable, consistent, and supportive presence and source of guidance in their lives can do wonders for them.”