'Huwag Umasa Sa Lalaki': Ruffa Gutierrez Wants Daughters To Be Independent Women Like Herself

“Walang return of the comeback. Reunion lang ng mga anak ko, this was Ruffa Gutierrez’s honest reply during a recent one-on-one with Dr. Vicki Belo for the latter’s vlog that featured the beauty queen and celebrity mom. Ruffa was responding to Dra. Belo’s question whether sparks could still be rekindled with her ex-husband, Turkish businessman Yilmaz Bektas, now that her daughters have reconnected with their Dad. 

Lorin,18, and Venice, 17, in June flew to Istanbul to reunite with Yilmaz after 15 years. 

It’s no secret that Ruffa Gutierrez singlehandedly raised her daughters after a tumultuous separation with Yilmaz back in 2007. Their marriage was annulled for good in 2012. Ruffa has moved on since and can now openly talk about being a single parent to Lorin and Venice, the qualities of the ideal man she hoped they will meet someday, and, yes, the status of her love life. 

RELATED: ‘Maybe It’s Time To Reconcile’: Ruffa Gutierrez Is Ready For Daughters To Reconnect With Estranged Dad Yilmaz

Recalling those days when she had to start over in the Philippines after her separation from Yilmaz, Ruffa was quick to acknowledge the celebrity doctor’s help so she can ‘jumpstart her career.’ “I’d like to thank you [because] when I got back from Istanbul, you were one of those who really jumpstarted my career, she opened up. 

“Doc Vicki helped me raise Lorin and Venice,” the actress reveals. Ruffa is one of earliest ‘Belo Babies’ or endorser of the products and treatments offered under the Belo Medical Group.

Setting an example for her kids

When asked if Yilmaz supported her financially all those years, Ruffa says he did not. “Feeling ko di niya nakikita yung mga bata and he wanted me to suffer. May ganun siyang ugali na parang ikaw ang lumayas, di ikaw ang mag dusa, she explains.

However, she says she thinks, this time, Yilmaz might make up financially for all those lost time, especially now that he has reconnected with Lorin and Venice. “It’s payback time. I think he will, she teased.

But whether that happens or not, the single mom has proven that she can take care of daughters and she is keen on teaching them how to be independent and succeed in life. “I just want them to have their own business, be independent women like their mom at huwag umasa sa lalaki, she tells Dra. Belo.

RELATED: Ruffa Gutierrez's First Love Advice To Her Daughters: 'Darating Din Iyan'

In choosing the right man, she says she hopes her children choose someone with the right values. “I always tell my kids to choose someone who is God-fearing, close to their family, mahilig mag-aral, hindi tamad, she says.  

Career wise, things are looking exciting for Ruffa at the moment. “This is my third wind,” she tells Dra. Belo.  The actress was one of the busiest during the pandemic. She continues to guest regularly in the noontime program Showtime! and, recently, just wrapped up shooting the controversial film, Maid in Malacañang. 

At 48, she continues to evolve. Last July 8, she marched up the stage to receive her diploma in Communication Arts from the Philippine Women’s University (PWU). “I really wanted a college degree. It’s important to me because I wanted to do something outside of my comfort zone and I want to set an example for my kids, she tells Dra. Belo. 

RELATED: Ruffa Gutierrez Set To Fulfill Dream Of Getting College Degree: 'I'm Graduating In July'

‘I am not gonna grow old alone’

With her eldest now off to college in the US and her bunso following suit, Ruffa will be an empty nester very soon, so Dr. Belo made sure to ask the inevitable: how is her lovelife? 

“At this point in my life, I don’t need to be with a man. If I’m with a man, it’s because I want to,” she says.  While Dra. Belo hinted that she currently has a text mate and phone pal, Ruffa responds that she is taking it slow.  “I don’t believe in whirlwind, she declares. 

“The more time you spend with the person, the more you converse, the more you get to know the one you’re dating.” She says she is through with men who have the tendency to pry. “Ayoko ko na yung ‘Saan ka? Saan ka pupunta.’ Oh my God, please. I don’t want stress,” she says, laughing. 

RELATED: 'It's Possible To Heal Relationships': Lorin Says Mom Ruffa, Dad Yilmaz Agree To Co-Parent

She also said she doesn’t think she will be able to make the same sacrifices for a guy the way she did when she married Yilmaz. “Lahat ng ginawa ko for Yilmaz, di ko alam kung magagawa ko pa yon, unless he is my forever love,” she shared, referring to the time she had to move to Turkey and change her religion to Muslim. “Pag sinabi mong kasal, nandyan yung ibibigay mo 300%.  Sakripisyo ka talaga para sa relationship na yun,” she elaborated. 

She admits that at this point she is not sure if she wants to be married again but she says she is certain that she will ‘not grow old alone’. “At the end of the day ‘no one is an island’. We really need to be with someone for companionship,” Ruffa tells Dra. Belo.  “I know I’m gonna have someone there who will hold my hand.  Pray for it and, because of that, we have hope all the time,” she ends. 

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