‘I Married You To Be With You;’ Verniece Enciso, Alf Dichaves On Love And TTC

The path to parenthood is not always clear-cut or easy. For some, it’s as simple as snapping their fingers, while for others, it requires more time, effort, resources, and even special interventions. But no matter the path, every parenthood journey is uniquely special.

It seems that Verniece Enciso Dichaves and her husband, Alf Dichaves, are taking a similar route to Verniece’s sister, Smart Parenting’s Mom We Love, Vern Enciso, and husband Ben Lim. In a vlog posted on their channel, VernVerniece Enciso titled, Starting our IVF journey soon?; Verniece candidly shared an update on their journey toward starting a family. While cooking their favorite dish, she and Alf intimately discussed their preparations for the possibility of IVF, their experiences, and their crucial realizations about love and marriage.

Hiatus from YouTube

Verniece opened the video by explaining her recent absence from the platform, saying that she needed to take a step back to find clarity amidst the noise of life. “I took a step back from YouTube because I somehow was losing myself in the noise. I made sure to pause and reflect and find my way back to what really matters,” she shared, setting the tone that this is a deeply personal video. As she and Alf cooked, they discussed their recent decision to freeze embryos, brought about by Verniece’s recurring endometriosis–a condition that could complicate natural conception. She shared, “Nung December, I felt na naman yung symptoms ng endo ko… Na-alarm na naman kami ni Alf.”

Deciding to freeze embryos

Verniece and Alf emphasized that the decision to undergo embryo freezing was not taken lightly. The couple explained that they consulted multiple doctors to weigh their options, especially after discovering that Verniece’s cyst had grown back to a size that required surgery. “So we decided to embryo freeze na. Because yun nga, may cyst siya, it will be hard for us to have a natural birth,” Alf explained.

“Then we have to plan everything out kasi. Pag nagka-surgery na siya ulit, everything should be dire-diretso na… Kasi may chance na bumalik ulit yung cyst… Kahit mag-surgery,” Alf continued.

Verniece added, “The doctor said na if I go through surgery again, there might be a chance na the quality of the egg that I would produce is not good anymore, or konti na lang talaga yung eggs na makuha sa akin.”

"I didn’t marry you naman to have a baby"-Alf Dichaves

Love as the foundation

One of the most touching moments in the vlog was Alf’s reassurance to Verniece that their relationship is not solely about having children. “Kasi before, we were trying naman. Pero every time na magkakaroon siya, she feels a little bit sadness,” Alf narrated.

“But I told her naman kasi, I didn’t marry you naman to have a baby,” Alf lovingly reminded Verniece. “I married you to be with you,” highlighting an important message for all TTC couples: the importance of maintaining a strong, loving relationship, regardless of the outcome of their fertility journey.

This is a reminder that love should always remain at the center of a relationship, especially during times of stress and uncertainty. The couple acknowledged the pressures that come with TTC, but Verniece also shared how embryo freezing helped alleviate some of that pressure. “It’s the best thing that we did… wala na kami pressure at all,” she said.

Fertility treatments

Verniece was open about the emotional and psychological challenges of fertility treatments. “Egg freezing isn’t easy at all,” she admitted, describing the hormonal injections and the mental toll it took on her. “So if you’re considering, dapat rin talaga you guys are in a good head space. At the time, I feel like I wasn’t also in a good head space when we entered that process din. Kasi, I was in that point in my life na I was confused rin,” she added. “Kaya during the egg freezing and the hormonal infection, syempre they were injecting artificial hormones. So much artificial hormones na sometimes kahit hindi naman talaga ganun nafeel mo, the hormones make it harder for you.” 

“Nag-overthink ako sobra. I was crying and then I was mad,” she further revealed. Such candid admissions can be a big help for other TTC couples who might also be considering similar treatments, as it sheds light on an often unspoken aspect of parenthood.

Through it all, Verniece and Alf remained united, with Alf expressing his unwavering support: “I told her in the beginning na ‘It’s your decision.’ Kasi, it’s your body… Inaamin ko naman sa kanya, I want a baby soon, pero hindi ko siya fino-force or anything. Kasi, katawan niya iyan… Body niyo ang mag-change. Tapos tayo, ang daming pagdadaanan, magka-surgery pa muna tayo.”

Vern appreciated the support, saying ”You being supportive is more than enough.”

"Everything happens for a reason. It prepares you for what’s to come. So just trust Him and His timing."-Verniece Enciso Dichaves

Focusing on the present

While the couple is seriously considering the possibility of IVF, Verniece and Alf emphasized that they are still enjoying their life as a couple. “I’m honestly happy where we are at right now. Parang we’re enjoying the married life. Dalawa lang kami,” Alf said.

“Take your time to make memories with your husband na wala pang baby,” Verniece agreed.

Moreover, Verniece expressed her desire to focus on her marriage and personal well-being before going into the next phase of their journey. “I wanted also to focus on our relationship… I think that’s why nag-slow down rin ako a bit,” she explained.

Towards the end of the vlog, Verniece left viewers with a message of hope and faith: “Everything happens for a reason. It prepares you for what’s to come. So just trust Him and His timing.”

Read here to learn more about Vern Enciso-Lim’s IVF journey.