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  • Alex Gonzaga Recalls Most Painful Part Of Miscarriage: 'Parang Feeling Mo Nag-Fail Ka'

    Alex recalls the most painful part of going through a pregnancy loss
    by Angela Baylon .
Alex Gonzaga Recalls Most Painful Part Of Miscarriage: 'Parang Feeling Mo Nag-Fail Ka'
PHOTO BY YouTube/alexgonzagaofficial
  • After confirming their pregnancy loss, Alex Gonzaga and husband Mikee Morada open up about the joys and pain of their first pregnancy.

    In a 15-minute vlog, Alex and Mikee shared the moments when they first found out that they were expecting when they learned that the pregnancy would not push through.

    An excited Mikee was seen in the first parts of the vlog showing Alex's positive pregnancy test result to their relatives. Alex could not help but be emotional when she first shared her pregnancy with her sister, Toni Gonzaga, via a video call.

    "Parang maiiyak ako ngayon sa'yo kasi ako 'yung dating sinabihan mo...Ako naman naiiyak," Alex told Toni.

    On their second ultrasound appointment, the result showed "a gestational sac but there's no embryo inside," which is also known as a blighted ovum. So their doctor advised them to wait for another two weeks to confirm the development of the pregnancy. When that two weeks passed, Alex felt worried about her pregnancy

    "Today is the day, malalaman namin ni Mikee kung talagang may heart beat na si baby. Kinakabahan ako, umiyak na ko kahapon pero pinacify naman ako ni Mikee...Si Lord nang bahala."

    After this consultation, there's still no sign of the embryo developing. A teary Alex shared how she felt bad mostly for her husband.

    "I know that Mikee is waiting outside. Doon lang ako sobrang nasa-sad kasi I know na hindi lang ako 'yung may gusto -- lalong-lalo na si Mikee... I know that he really wanted this. We'll just try," Alex shared.

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    Finding out about the miscarriage

    On their fourth medical appointment, the couple "finally closed our book" on their first pregnancy. Alex went under dilation and curettage or "raspa" procedure on October 12, 2021.  The day after this procedure, Alex started to process her miscarriage, and the grief began.

    "Dati pag nakakakita ako ng mga baby videos, wala naman akong pake. I thought I'm okay, kahit papaano. Pero sabi naman ni doc, it's a process. May mga times malulungkot ka pa rin and it's fine. Kailangan kong umiwas-iwas sa mga baby videos."

    Alex confirmed to the public that she had a blighted ovum on October 17, 2021. (Read more about blighted ovum or an anembryonic pregnancy here)

    Coping with the loss

    Pregnancy loss is one of the most painful experiences couples could go through in their relationship. Alex and Mikee said they want to share their own experience to give hope to other couples who might be going through the same thing.

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    "Kaya namin po ginagawa 'tong vlog na 'to, it's to show people na 'kaya may pag-asa'," Alex said.

    Mikee also did not hesitate to share his feelings, saying that he has been doing research on his own every after their ultrasound appointment to give ample support to Alex. 

    "Nakikita ko na ngang medyo alanganin...Sumilip din ako sa maraming forum ng mga nanay na marami rin pala ang dumadaan sa ganitong proseso at mas naapreciate ko, parang na-handa ko na rin. Hanggang sa huli, namamag-asa pero kung anong pinagkaloob sa'yo tinatanggap mo," Mikee recounted.

    Alex shared that she also did not escape the feeling of being a failure after the miscarriage.

    "As a wife parang feeling mo nag-fail ka sa husband mo kasi gustong-gusto na ni Mikee pero siyempre, wala ka naman magagawa. Sa lahat ng mommies, walang may kasalanan. If it's meant, the the Lord will bless you with a new life, it will happen."

    Alex and Mikee said that they will continue to be each other's  source of strength throughout their healing process.

    One mom who welcomed her baby at 41 shared how she remained hopeful after 5 pregnancy losses. Read her story here

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