Aubrey Miles On ‘Postpartum Depression’ With First Child: ‘I Wasn’t Losing Weight’

At 41, Aubrey Miles is the picture of a fit and fabulous mom of three kids: Maurie, 20; Hunter, 13; and Rocket, almost 3.

The actress-entrepreneur doesn't only work out religiously, as evidenced in her exercise posts on Instagram, but she's actually a certified fitness trainer.

Aubrey had a different story back when she was pregnant with Maurie. She recalls, "No'ng time na 'yun, 'yung mentality ko, bahala na. 'Tapos the way I ate, it's different din. Hindi ko alam kung healthy ako no'ng mga time na 'yun."

"That's my biggest pregnancy," she tells SmartParenting.com.ph in an exclusive online interview. "Kasi hindi naman ako conscious no'n. Hindi pa uso 'yung mga fit mom or a fit pregnancy, mga gano'n. Basta kung ano man ang sinabi ng parent sa 'yo, di ba? I still had fun sa first pregnancy ko."

Looking back as a first-time mom

After giving birth, from 19 to 20 years old, the fun for the first-time mom started fading away. She says in reflection, "I had postpartum depression for a year."

Aubrey goes on sharing her story: "I was trying to lose weight. Sabi ko, akala ko ba when you're younger you can lose weight like that, when you breastfeed, when you eat good. Pero, I don't know.

"It's probably my emotions. Mentally, parang feeling ko...Sabi ko, 'What's happening? This is it for me? That I'm just gonna take care of the baby? Stay in the house? I was just staying home. Medyo pa-cry-cry pa ako no'n. Hindi ko maintindihan ang feelings ko."

Aubrey has since made this realization: "Siguro one of the reasons why I separated with my partner, who's the dad of Maurie. Siguro dahil do'n. And hindi ako nag-lose weight ng gano'n, mga a-year-and-a-half. 'Tapos no'ng naghiwalay kami, then nag-focus ako sa work, then 'yun na, pumayat na ko."

At that time, Aubrey has just joined showbiz. She started by taking on minor parts in TV shows until she got her first starring role in Erik Matti's 2002 provocative movie, Prosti, and then established her career in the entertainment industry.

In 2003, Aubrey started dating hunky actor-TV host Troy Montero, and eventually formed a committed relationship that remains strong till this day. Troy is not only the father of Hunter and Rocket, but also a father figure for Maurie.

Lessons learned

Aubrey says she applied the lessons she's learned from her first pregnancy to her second and third, particularly on fitness.

"I know na 'yung feeling no'ng first, so sabi ko it will never happen," she says on experiencing what she calls her postpartum depression. "I don't want that stage of, parang, feeling ko, ako lang ang nagproblema ng sarili ko no'ng time na 'yun. So, sabi ko, no, and I'm happy.

She then muses, "Different siguro kasi different time, different partner, different body. So, with Hunter, no'ng 6th o 9 months [na siya], I was, oo, this is my ideal weight pero hindi pa siya 'yung toned talaga. Parang naglu-lose lang ako. And after a year and a half, then naging toned na ako."

Aubrey explains she has a small face, so people assume she's "skinny right away" after giving birth. But, she points out, "I lost weight after Rocket, siguro mga 6 months. Hindi pa ako happy. Then, one year, kasi I was breastfeeding. When you breastfeed kasi you don't diet. You eat more and then, you get hungry more."

She adds, "Do'n ko na-realize, you know what? It's okay. I will enjoy this time with Rocket kasi if you try to lose weight minsan talagang nase-separate 'yung focus mo e, di ba? 'Yung dieting mo. You'll stop breastfeeding because you want to lose weight.

"Nag-enjoy ako kay Rocket. And at the same time, in my mind, sabi ko, 'I will do the losing weight later.' Until now, 3 years old, up and down pa rin ako. This is not my ideal body for me. But I'm happy."

Read here for more about postpartum depression and here on how to exercise after giving birth.

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