Paano Palakarin Ang Toddler Sa Wedding? Mom Of Flower Girl Seeks Advice In Smart Parenting Village

Weddings are momentous and joyous occasions that bring family and friends together. Children also play a special role in weddings, as they are tapped to be either flower girls or bearers, which parents almost always joyfully accept. Because why not? Aside from enjoying the festivities with loved ones, it’s also a great chance to dress up and take tons of family photos. Plus seeing your child walk down the aisle with guests exclaiming over how cute they are can make any parent proud.

However, if your child is still a toddler, then there might be some challenges in getting them to walk down the aisle gracefully. Just like this parent who posted her concern on the Smart Parenting Village. She said:

“Magflo-flower girl po ang anak namin sa kasal. Two years and eight months siya by December, the month of the wedding. May tips ba kayo kung paano niyo na-train ang mga toddlers niyo na lumakad ng aisle? I know na eventually ay dedepende sa mood niya kung lalakad siya or hindi sa araw na iyon, pero still, gusto ko lang sana siya iprepare.”

Here are a few tips from parents whose kids have successfully conquered the wedding march:

Start early with gentle practice

“Two years and nine months old si LO ko noong nag-flower girl last June. Kinakausap ko siya, minsan nagpra-practice kami na kunyari may dalang basket. Two weeks before the wedding, pinasuot namin iyung shoes niya para mas feel niya. On the day of the wedding, medyo inagahan namin tapos pinakita ko ang aisle na lalakaran niya. Kinausap ko siya ng maayos at pinalakad ko rin siya sa aisle.”

Starting early plus gentle practice can help your child familiarize herself with the concept of walking down the aisle. Start by showing them the aisle they will walk in, and you can even use playful language such as calling it a “flower girl path” to make it sound exciting.

Consider doing dress rehearsals

“Practice niyo siya sa house na kunyari she is walking down the aisle with props na rin. Ganyan ginawa ko sa 2-year-old son ko dati, and so far, naging effective naman.”

“Anak ko noong 1-year and 7-months old naglakad as coin bearer. Hawak ko pa siya nung first half, but after siya ma-picture-an, naglakad na siya mag-isa sa second half. Pinractice ko siya 2 weeks before the wedding na lumalakad na may hawak na pillow na maliit. Tapos lagi ko din siya nireremind na gagawin niya iyun sa kasal ng ninang niya.”

You can get your child accustomed to their flower girl or bearer attire by letting them wear the clothes, shoes, and accessories during your practices. Doing so can make them feel more comfortable and confident on the big day and it would also make them feel at ease in their outfit.

Use positive reinforcement

“Pakiramdaman mo ang mood, huwag na ulit-ulitin or kulitin na maglakad kung wala sa mood.”

It’s important to be in tune with your child’s mood on the wedding day. If they don’t feel up to it, don’t push them. Always try to go for positive reinforcement by encouraging them when they’re in a good mood and ready to participate.

Familiarize your child with the venue

“I let them play around the ceremony area, if possible, so they feel comfortable. I read that this helps them become familiar with their surroundings.”

Allowing your child to get familiar with the wedding venue can help reduce anxiety. Arrive early at the venue if possible to give them the chance to explore their surroundings and become comfortable with the space before the ceremony starts.

Tara Angelopoulos of Dream Makers Event Planning also recommends letting your kids practice their entrance several times before the actual ceremony, and do it as close to the processional time as possible. 

Ensure that your child is well-fed and well-rested

“Make sure na nakakumpleto siya ng 13 hours of sleep. No sugary food muna in the morning.”

Hungry or tired toddlers are more likely to become fussy and less cooperative. Same goes for toddlers high or crashing from sugar intake.

Give them a familiar face

“We try to prepare them, setting their expectation na maraming tao, or even putting one familiar face sa dulo ng aisle whom they can focus on while walking."

“On the wedding day itself, she saw how others walk. And her grandparents and tio (groom) is waiting and waving to her from the altar. That way, she knew na doon ang destination niya. One of the instructions I gave her before she walked was, ‘You walk and go to Lodi (Lolo Daddy) and Tito.’”

Having or pointing out a familiar face waiting at the end of the aisle can provide a sense of security for your child. This person can smile and encourage your toddler as they make their way down the aisle.

Be realistic, set expectations with the couple, and have a backup plan

“We try to be very realistic about our expectations and we also let the couple know of what is the best possible outcome. And we ask ano iyung plan B na pinaka-OK for them.”

“Always be ready to accompany your child kapag pakiramdam niyo eh mag-tantrums na siya. Minsan kasi natatakot ang toddler kapag maraming nakatingin sa kanila then aayaw na maglakad. Kapag ayaw na maglakad, carry her.”

“Isama niyo or isabay siya sa ka-close niya, like kuya, ate, or pinsan.”

It’s essential to be prepared for unexpected situations. Always have a backup plan in case your toddler decides not to walk independently, such as having someone walk with them or even carrying them down the aisle if needed.

Angelopoulos says that younger kids typically do not understand the processional, and are more likely to act out. So parents of younger kids should be prepared to walk with their child down the aisle. She says, “Having a parent walk down the aisle with them is a lot better than a child refusing and not walking down the aisle at all.”

Don’t stress yourself

“Make sure na OK ka din and make your child feel secure and happy during the day. Iwasan mastress kapag may hindi kaaya-ayang kaganapan, control your emotions, suck it up, chin up.”

Our children are attuned to our feelings, so if we are stressed, they can feel that and become anxious themselves. So remember to also try to enjoy yourself.

Being part of a wedding entourage is a memorable experience for your and your kids. While it’s essential to prepare them, also remember to keep the experience enjoyable and stress-free. Enjoy the journey and cherish the adorable memories of your child as a flower girl or bearer.