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Moms, You Need Alone Time Before The New Year Comes
PHOTO BY @g-stockstudio/iStock
  • Once motherhood becomes you, you will find that you are never truly alone. Philosophically, it sounds wonderful and comforting, but when you realize how literal it actually is as a parent with kids in tow — to the point of having kids banging on your bathroom door as you try to sneak in a very quick shower — is when you'll really miss having some alone time.

    Having time to yourself periodically is actually necessary. It is during your moments alone that you are able to collect your thoughts, unwind, rest, and revive your sense of self. But moreso now that the year is about to end and a new one will begin, you need to take time out for yourself, mom, to do the following:

    1. Loosen up

    All that tension from rushing from one task to the next, juggling work and the home, and playing referee to your kids will eventually have you wound up so tight that you’ll feel aches and pains here and there. Have a quiet moment to yourself. Book a massage and let the masseuse knead those tight muscles away. Breathe in and out, and you’ll feel the stress melting away.  

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    2. Listen.

    Our world as moms can be so busy that sometimes all we hear is the noise around us.

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    You need a few moments of silence to give that voice inside you a chance to be heard. Maybe the woman in you has forgotten what it’s like to have an opinion.

    Maybe she has had to make a lot of compromises in the past for the sake of the people she loves. Does she even still know what she likes, without thinking if others will agree? Who is she now? What are her dreams? What makes her happy? Alone time helps you find the answer to these questions.  

    3. Look back.

    A year can easily breeze by when you’re preoccupied with so many tasks. Sometimes it will feel like you were just putting out fire left and right and not realize the big accomplishments you’ve done. Recall the moments in the year that has that made you feel fulfilled, content, and alive. Make a list of all your accomplishments, big or small. By doing these, you are affirming yourself: you have a purpose and you are doing something important with your life.  

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    4. Look forward.

    Read a book, pray, nourish yourself, and believe. Visualize what you would like to do, or where you’d like to be in your career and your personal life. Have a dream. No matter how this year went, something better is in store for you in 2020.   

    5. List down goals.

    “Dreams without goals are just dreams,” actor Denzel Washington once said. It’s important to set goals to support the dreams you have defined in order to make them a reality.

    Write down concrete action points — it doesn’t matter if they’re per month or per quarter of the year, as long as it is clear to you. Make a separate list for “Personal,” “Family,” and “Career” goals. Under Personal can be something as simple as “Finish 1 fiction novel each quarter.” Family goals can include “Spend 2 Saturdays a month in a park (go biking in Nuvali or go on a picnic lunch in La Mesa Dam).” For career, how about “Don’t be late for work in January.” In time, your small goals will become a habit and turn into bigger wins. 

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    Alone time is an essential part of self-care. If you see it this way, you will realize that it is actually a gift you are giving your family. This 2020, make self-care a habit. 

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