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  • 'Naging Kabit Ako And I Learned: Karma Will Hit You Hard'

    A mom shares what it’s like to be the other woman.
'Naging Kabit Ako And I Learned: Karma Will Hit You Hard'
PHOTO BY iStock
  • Infidelity can destroy a marriage, and many of our readers have written to us about their ruined relationships and how it has affected their emotional and mental well-being. The submissions are often from the wronged spouse, the one who was cheated on. It is rare that we hear from the other woman,’ the one who breaks up marriages.

    In an emotional letter, a woman who wishes to be anonymous shares her side of the story — and the lessons she’s learned after having an affair with a married man and becoming a mistress. This is her #SPConfession.

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    I have a failed marriage. My husband cheated on me twice and was involved with drugs. My life was miserable, and I was at my lowest when I joined a dating app. I was 40 then.

    I met several guys but was only ever interested with this man who seemed to like to chat with me about life in general. Hindi siya bastos at pushy na makipagkita agad. But after one month of talking on the phone, we decided to meet up. By that time, I was already falling for him.

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    I agreed na mag-hotel kami. We were officially together by then, and it was one of the happiest moments of my life.

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    “Sabi ko dati, ‘Ayokong maging kabit!’ Pero naging marupok at mahina ako."

    But after a month, he broke up with me. He revealed that he had a wife and kids. His wife was working abroad and just missed her so he turned to me. I was mad and hurt — I thought he was single and I thought we loved each other!

    Three weeks after, he started to talk to me again. I still loved him and accepted him. Sabi ko dati, ‘Ayokong maging kabit!’ Pero naging marupok at mahina ako.

    I know na hindi kami pwedeng magkatuluyan kasi we are both married. But I ignored those thoughts. Sige pa rin ako ng sige kasi mahal na mahal ko siya at masaya ako. He supported me a lot, even financially nung nag-resign ako sa work.

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    Our relationship lasted for more than three years. We broke up nung nag-process na sila ng visa with his kids to follow his wife abroad. Hindi ko alam ‘yun. Kaya pala sinisingil niya ako sa pera na pinahiram niya nung wala akong work. He said some nasty words na mahirap lunukin kaya I decided to break up with him.

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    I still loved him kahit malayo na siya. I tried to contact him nine months later. He replied immediately and told me na huwag nang mag-message dahil nababasa ng wife niya. I was hurt because I still hoped he would come back to me.

    After another three months, nag-message siya sa akin. Nalaman kong meron siyang isa pang kabit at pinagsabay niya kami nung nasa Pilipinas pa siya. But the bigger revelation was it was not him I was chatting with him on the phone — it was his wife using his phone.

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    Tumawag ang wife niya gamit ang phone niya. Hindi ko na naibaba ang phone kasi sobrang bait ng wife and very professional kung makipag-usap.

    Hindi siya galit sa akin. Sabi niya, ‘wag na daw ako mag-eskandalo at mag-move on na lang.

    Nag-sorry ako sa wife niya at pinatawad naman niya ako. Sabi niya, muntik na raw nasira ang pagsasama nila kasi nag-eskandalo ang pangalawang kabit.

    I felt so guilty, and I also felt the hurt his wife was feeling. She was struggling to heal from her husband’s infidelity. Surprisingly, naging friends kami ng wife niya at sa akin siya nagsasabi ng mga nararamdaman niyang hinanakit sa asawa niya. Napatawad na niya ito, but she is still in the process of healing.

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    During that time, I realized I should go back to God. I prayed for my ex-boyfriend and his family. Nagpasalamat ako na hindi ako inaway ng wife niya, and I am still praying na tuluyan na maging okay ang pamilya nila. I want to see them happy again.

    Nasaktan ako na meron pa palang ibang kabit ang ex-boyfriend ko noon at pinagsabay pa kami. But I know eventually, makaka-move on din ako. I will fix my relationship with God and also love my children more.

    I cannot turn back time. All I can say is I am deeply sorry dahil may nasaktan akong babae at muntik nang masira ang pamilya nila dahil sa akin.

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    Sana po, sa mga katulad kong marupok, kung pwede umiwas na lang habang maaga pa. Karma will hit you hard kapag isang masayang pagsasama ang sinubukan ninyong sirain. My husband is in jail, and my son is in a rehab center. I am struggling but hopeful na magiging okay ang lahat.

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    Pagtutuunan ko na lang ng panahon ang dalawa ko pang anak at ang aking mga apo. I want to make up with them before it’s too late. I will love them more kaysa mag-boyfriend.

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