Usapang Tatay: If You Love Your Wife, Do Household Chores, Dads!

When I say my wife is my better half, I mean that Michelle is the leader of our home.

“Love, Please do the laundry.”

“Hun, ikaw na bahala sa hugasin.”

“Babe, patulugin mo naman si baby.”

These may be the common lines we hear husbands say to their wives when we were growing up, but some things in marriage have shifted today.

Every family is unique and different. I grew up in a family where my father worked, and my mother stayed at home. My family is grateful that my dad is a great provider, while my mom nurtured our home. Now that it is my turn to be a parent, it is not the same case. I work, my wife Michelle is a cabin crew, and it is up to both of us to care for our household.

In the traditional way. Society is used to the wife and mother doing all household chores. From doing the laundry, to washing the dishes, to putting the baby to sleep, to changing the baby’s diapers, and so on. Nothing is degrading about these responsibilities and we should not think lowly of them. In fact, I salute all women who take the lead in how a home should be run, it is no easy feat.

Balancing a three-year-old toddler with our erratic work schedules may seem overwhelming but it’s all about just making it work. When Michelle and I were newly married, people would ask us, “How is married life?” Back then I would always say, “still adjusting”. And that’s because we were just figuring out how we do our own ways of washing the dishes, sweeping the floors, cleaning the rooms, etc. We would have some discussions or arguments over our ways of working that have led to us getting irritated at each other. Now I realize it’s one of the things that we must go through as husband and wife, it’s just part of it.

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My wife is a superwoman, but she is no robot and cannot do everything alone. That’s where we husbands step in to take charge and ease the workload of what needs to be done. It’s the human and moral thing to do, not to be dependent on women to do these things alone. Plain and simple.

I love my wife and I love my family. I’d rather be the one who is tired and carrying the physical load rather than her. —Migs Bustos, dad of one

Husbands should take an equal share of household chores

Here are the three chores I prefer doing:

1. Washing the dishes

I find satisfaction in building for an end goal. When we start the task of washing dirty plates and utensils, it is unflattering and overwhelming. The slow process of cleaning each plate, spoon, or fork is a metaphor for life where results don’t come in an instant. When the whole task is done, what is seen is the empty and clean wash area. But what is appreciated is literally the dirty work that was done to see the results.

Imagine your child’s messy play area. When you first look at it, you think “How is this going to clean itself?” All the toys, crayons, and dolls lying around can seem like it's impossible to pack everything away. You do it anyway and the next thing you know, things are back in order.

2. Doing the laundry

I like making things clean again. I prefer to have a weekly cleaning schedule or every 10 days. Like washing the dishes, it is therapeutic to put things back in their rightful place.

3. Ironing clothes

I find this a bit ironic. Ironing takes time, effort, and patience. Most of us are on the go and may not have much time to dedicate to this task regularly. Scheduling helps when and what to iron, true. There are unexpected moments when we change our minds and must wear something different that wasn’t part of the ironing plan. So I sometimes find myself ironing at midnight. I honestly do not like that I’m supposed to be sleeping but I’m still ironing clothes. But the actual process of smoothing out the wrinkles in clothes gives me satisfaction. There is also no other way to do it but to do it ourselves.

The reason why I love doing these chores is because it’s who I am. I love seeing things transform right before my own eyes and contributing to the transformation gives me fulfillment. To the one reading this, you may think it’s “OA” and that’s fine. It is because I easily accepted these tasks as part of my life. It’s how I choose to live my life. In everything that I do, I make sure that there are no shortcuts and always stick to the basics. This principle is non-negotiable and has become a lifestyle for me, whether I'm working or with my family.

I am no saint, there are some daily chores that I absolutely don’t love doing. It’s about finding who we are in what we are supposed to do, and it will just fall naturally.

I love my wife and I love my family. I’d rather be the one who is tired and carrying the physical load rather than Michelle. Service is one of my top love languages and I will do it to the best of my abilities not just to ease Michelle's burden but to also develop our relationship through teamwork, communication, and trust. When I look at the bigger picture, working on home management together helps strengthen our marriage.

You may not love the same household chores I do, but there is surely something you can do. Which tasks will you work on to build your marriage?

Migs Bustos is a news anchor, host, and proud #girldad to Margaux. He is happily married to his wife Mischi.